Whenever I get stressed about my future well-being I remind myself that I don't want more than a modest life, with just enough financial security to support a few hobbies. I don't need kids, or a huge house, or diamond rings or whatever infinite amounts of money can buy...I just don't want money to be an element of my unhappiness. Today I was really scared. What I realized today is that my American dream is a shoot for the stars. Money will always be a problem, and I need to get ready for that. I realized that if I want to rise above my financial doom I must learn to be a risk taker. If I don't, any decent job's earnings is going straight to debt and other financial obligations before I can find security/comfort.
Today I realized that my mom is going to file bankruptcy unless my sister's gymnastics magically picks up the 30k we are facing without health insurance for her injury. I realized why my mom hardly flinches at this situation, because she knows there is no way any amount of effort will pay for that. Even if she still had a job, only her salary would only cover 2/3 of this bill. Not to mention my 5 yr old brother's broken arm.
Today I realized that my other brother, who is a sophomore in high school, won't be given the chance to go to college in the direction he is headed and that my sister's talent may go to waste because neither my mom nor my dad can afford to send another kid to college. I realized how much they had put into me: I am the one who gets the car, the education, the whatever else they thought they would be able to afford for each kid. I realized that with all that was invested in me, I need to get in the game and accept that responsibility means sacrificing certain freedoms and luxuries.
Today I realized that I have a lot of shit to cover, and it is going to be a long life.
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