A 14 year old girl living in college dorms?

I have to say that maturity depends on the person you cant band all 14 year olds into the same catagory. I know personally my 14 year old sister is far more mature and responsible then some of the high school senoirs I go to school with. If she where to work hard to finish school early and got accepted to attend college I dont see an issue with her being responsible enough to live at the dorm.

I'd feel extremely weird having a 14-year-old girl in my dorm. Five people were dealing weed here a couple nights ago. Last night was partying with drugs and alcohol. There's always smoking going on. People sleep with everyone in sight. It's crazy, it's college, it would be a very bad place for a 14-year-old.

no one knows this girl.. I think that trying to put labels on her by saying she's maturing too quickly, or that she will end up pregnant, or whatever else is being said, is wrong. I think that I probably know a lot of 20 year olds who are more immature than any 14 year old would ever be.. But I also know that 14 year olds can be extremely influencable and delicate. However, seeing as we don't know this girl's situation, personality, morals, etc. It's harsh to automatically have an opinion as to how this situation will turn out.

most 18 and 19-year-olds get out of control when going to college. i don't know if a 14-year old would be ready for that but i think she should be given the chance to prove herself

I agree with the school's decision. They can try to make other arangements for her however.

The best way to a man's heart is really through his stomach, that way you don't have to deal with that pesky rib cage!
~Anomous

All I can say is that when I worked at the ice skating rink as a skate guard two years ago.. I met 15, 14, even 13 year old girls who went out every weekend, got drunk, smoked bud all of the time.. Society is changing so much. When I was growing up I never got involved with that stuff until about sophmore year in high school. But to see someone that young, already fiening from drugs? The best example I can give is this girl that I know who will remain unnamed. She is 15 years old. When I met her she was 14. She was never a bad person and was always nice. The thought would have never even crossed my mind that she was a habitual drug user. I later found out that she was strung out on coke, and when she couldnt get that shed get crack, pills(percocet), pot, and any other drug she could get. She started to get deep into drug use when she went to highschool as a freshman. I didnt know this until a few months ago. Last week she called me and didnt sound good at all, asking me to pick her up because she was at some place and was on some sort of drug I dont know. But i was out of town and couldn't help her out. I talked to her the next week and she didnt even mention anything about it, she was fiening coke and pills, and thats all she talked about. She looked like a completely different person, sounded different, and acted different than when i met her. And she is only 15. I'm not saying all drugs are bad... Smoking pot recreationally is not as bad as ciggarettes... But to see a young, 15 year old girl that cant go a day without some sort of hardcore drug is sad. If that can happen in a small town where i live between kids her age.., just imagine what can happen at a college with people 4, 5, 6, even 7 years older...

There is nothing wrong with that. Im sixteen and I'll be starting college in the fall this year, I wont be living on campus(campus nearby my house) but if it were far away I probably would. I believe im extremely mature for my age, in high school I was surrounded by people, including close friends, who were engulfed in this world where the only thing that mattered was what you were wearing, how much you partied, how far you went, and all that other stuff we all know doesnt matter at all. If she is smart enough to graduate high school at 14, and get a scholarship to a university then props to her and I think she will definitely be able to conversate and build friendly relationship with roommates..heck shes probably alot more mature than some of the people she might be living with! If anyone has done what I'm doing, Id love to hear how you feel about it.....do you regret it?...are you happy you did it???.. dimples7h@gmail.com thanks :)

Come on, guys. We're missing the point! She's going to be in Maine; There's nothing in Maine, besides Stephen King and Miramac Native Americans. No danger, no harm. (Just Kidding, no offense Bangor and Augusta) Anyway, I agree that the girl is too young at age 14. She can't authorize letters, she can't legally smoke (unless she has glaucoma), I'm sure she can't drive unless she has her permit, and she can't even watch Adult Swim, and other adult entertainment. She probably still behaves, gossips, giggles, and carry on like a 14-year old girl. Just because she is more advanced mentally, she is still years behind physically, psychologically, socially, and I'm pretty sure emotionally, too. She probably have never experienced more than a first crush, and probably still thinks that "footsies" is a flirtation technique (Come on, we've all used that move in 8th and 9th grade). This girl is probably no taller than that cheerleader on that phone commercial who is using up all those minutes on the cell phone. Now picture a girl that size at a college frat party where there are kegs. Pandemonium and press releases by the tabloids! Let that image alone be the deciding factor in whether this 14-year old girl should be allowed to stay in the college on-campus dorms.

I was 16 and lived in a dorm. Here's what I don't understand about UMaine's argument... they say the dorms don't provide adequate supervision for a 14-year-old. But the alternative is off-campus housing. Does UMaine believe there will be more supervision off campus than on?

Where I went to school (Indiana), there was a residence hall unit with limited visitation hours, no opposite-sex visitors, quiet hours, study hours, and all sorts of supervision. Not all the dorms, or even one whole dorm... just one half of one floor of one dorm. It was nicknamed "the virgin vault", and paranoid administrators could assign a prodigy to that residence unit, if they so chose.

This is not a question of residence halls in general, it's about:
- Who is the university to say what is adequate supervision for this student (regardless of age)?
- Why does UMaine not feel there is adequate supervision in their dorms (regardless of the residents' ages)? IMHO, if the supervision is not adequate for a well-educated 14-year-old, it's not enough for the average 17-year-old boy, either.
- Shouldn't UMaine have to make reasonable accomodations for this student, much as it would for a student with a physical disability? In fact, couldn't one argue that in this context, UMaine is treating young age as a disability, and is therefore obligated to provide such accomodation?

Frankly, at 16, I think I did better in school because I did live in the dorm. The built-in social and academic support in the residence hall contributed to my success. I think that support would be doubly important to a 14-year-old. If I were a university president, I would insist that students under the age of 17 live in residence halls, and those under 16 live in academic units or similar moderately restricted units. And if such units didn't exist, the first thing I'd do would be to mandate their creation. Some of us went to college for the education.

It's sad when the college has to look like the bad guy by stepping in and making a decision that the parents should have been smart enough to make on their own. It's wonderful that their daughter graduated young, but I'm of the opinion that plenty of other bright kids could do the same thing if they received the same tutoring and support. Does that mean that college dorms should be full of kids of whatever age can possibly get through highschool? If 14 is not too young, is 13? There are certainly children of unusual intelligence who could get through highschool at ten. Where would one draw the line? Let's keep the children out of college dorms. I don't even really believe that a college dorm is a good environment for an 18 or 20 year old. Think of all the mischief you were (or may be presently be) getting into in college. This girl's parents need to wise up. Send her to a local college, or send her to live with relatives. Sending a little girl to a college dorm would be like feeding her to the lions. Mature or not, there are just too many bad influences.

I think part of the dorm experience is the transition into independent living. There are social groups if she wants to interact with her peers.

The fact of the matter is, the law says you cannot live independently without a guardian until you are 18. This would mean the school assumes a guardianship role----and a whole other string of problems. If her parents are allowing her to begin college this early, then they should be prepared for the sacrifice of moving closer to campus.

*And the fact that the school is not a "party" school is irrelevant. Even in an intensly academic environment, college life presents a whole new set of challenges.

*Also, to the people on this board that feel the need to educate everyone about "how different 14 year olds are today"...It's because WE as a society make them that way. We rush them into dressing, acting and behaving like adults. But, I believe we are doing these kids a disservice.

i feel sorry for the girl, now she will have to get an appartment or something and live like isolated and what not. i say, if she was uneffected in high school by all that bad stuff, it will be almost the same in college, and that her age is no reason for her to be denied in the dorms.

Its funny how everyone seems to write about sex, parties, drinking etc in their responses, but what they fail to understand is that in schools in maine, such is rare compared to schools in philly, or party schools nationwide. This girl may have gotten into a school where there isn't a lot of partying, or not a lot of sex and all.

I think it is possible that she can make it in college. Also, I don't think its discrimination, but rather that the school is acting in a manner to protect its strong students, one of which is this girl.

She's got potential, and I think the parents know that. If she is ready to enter the college life, I think that she should start off on a little private note, to try and assuage the age difference. After a year or so, she can enter the dorms/sororities and become normal.

The college is acting more in a manner to protect her. She will become independent and will probably end up trying each of the above mentioned behaviors. And NOT everyone who has sex at 15, either in college or high school, becomes a dropout. I know people who have kids and are going to school and have graduated high school (while havign their kids). So, get your facts write.

Now regarding maturity, I think that she'll pick up soon. Not every girl is wild and crazy as some of us, but since she has been through high school, and is 1st in her class, its clear that she isn't an immature middle schooler.

Cut her some slack. Her accomplishments are outstanding, and she should be allowed to go to school without limitations. But, to protect the school and avoid massive lawsuits, I think the college acted properly in denying dorming, but they should provide alternative housing for her, such as a private room or an apartment.

This girl may be smart but she does not know how to be responsible for herself. She doesn't know how to cook, doens't know what to say to strangers and creepy people that tend to hang out on college campuses. I am not a mother, but if I was, I couldn't imagine sending my 14 yr old daughter to a college dorm knowing how young boys that are in college act. Most kids have cerfew's by the city at that age...would that still apply to her?

there was a 16/17 year old girl living on campus at my school, but I think she was an emancipated adult. And I don't want to baby site for free.

I think the girl an be smart enough to protect herself from the majority of college dangers. And what she doesn't know, she will find out in time. I think the best thing to do is allow her to live on campus. This way she'll gain a lot of experience at an early age, hich I think it's great.

an see the point. she is very young to be in college. who know what coudl happen in teh dorms

I think she is being discriminated against, unless the school has a specific age requirement for dorm living which I doubt. She managed to get through HS at the top of her class with students older than her so I think she should be given the chance to participate in college like any other student.

its a lose-lose situation. yes, it is unfair that this girl cant live in the dorms because she has worked as hard, if not harder, to get to college. Yes, she is young, but she deserves the experience. But, its dangerous. She is 14. She can easily be taken advantage of. It is also unfair to classmates and especially roomates. If I was her roomate I would feel like I would have to take care of her and lookout for her. Even though its not my job, I have younger siblings and I would want someone looking out for them. And the fact that she would be exposed to soo much (sex, drugs, alcohol) at such a young age is disturbing. So either way its unfair.

Ok, here's a link about the girl in question, it's not the original story I found though...

http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/2713327.shtml

An interesting argument, although I'm not sure the solution is as hard as we're making it out to be. The university should let the girl in the dorms and make the parents waive all rights for suing the university until the girl turns of legal age. That way, the parents can't sue for a stupid decision their daughter made because of her inability to assert herself and act maturely.

My main problem with this situation is that we're debating it for any more than personal amusement.

The decision is the universities, the parents shouldn't have the right to sue.

I've read your arguments and they make sense both ways. Its a risk that the university administration needs to decide whether its willing to make.
END OF STORY

Personally though; if I was one of the parents and my child was denied access for age(a dream come true in my case) AND I thought my child grown up enough to live in the dorms, I'd set them up in one of those apartments right off campus.
Living in the dorm and two blocks off campus in an apt the size of a crappy office- not a big difference.

Then again I attended University of Mo Rolla- great school; suckiest dorm in the US

I don't think it's discrimination. It's safety. Also, she wouldn't have a good social life. Everyone would be so much older than her. She isn't even legal!

I really feel that you guys are underestimating 14 year olds today. They are already drinking, already having sex, already smoking pot. This kid is smart and I'm sure she has friends who do this but she abstained. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let her get the full college experience or better yet give her a private room; she doesn't have to go to parties...although she'll probably sneak out because that's what kids do.

http://www.progressiveu.org/pmccorkle

What newspaper did you find that in?

I don't think it's a good idea. If some kids can't handle the pressure and they end up drunk, what about her? I mean it's the parents responsiblity. They should watch over here, sure now they say that they should let her stay by herself. WRONG! She is their responsibility, if something happens to her, than the parents will sue the school. She may be smarter than a 14 year old, but perhaps she is not ready for college by herself. Come on, what if she was a 7 year old prodegy? or even 11? She is still underage.

In the Philippines, there are many kids who start college at the age of 16. I almost started college at the age of 15, because under the typical Philippine curriculum, you skip middle school. (But I continued high school under the American curriculum.) Anyway, I still am the youngest among my college peers, and all I can say is that maturity does not really depend on age. Not many 18 or 19 year olds are really mature yet. I think that having graduated from high school at such a young age with much older peers (and most likely having taken advanced classes), the 14-year-old has a good degree of maturity already to take it to the next level. I think that it may be better for her to live in the dorms than off-campus (in an apartment, for instance, if college is far away from home). If the school has a "dry" dorm, then it would be good for her as well, even though "dry" dorms never guarantee that alcohol and drugs will always be absent.

I have a friend who graduated high school in 2.5 years and college in 3 years (& going to grad school at the age of 20). She does not look different --in fact, she looks very mature, more mature than her age. I think that if the 14-year-old has a lot of knowledge and experience (I mean, in leadership, for instance), then the maturity would be manifested in her face and actions. College then furthers maturity at a very fast rate that she will be almost like everyone else.

Lastly, as others may have stated, there are 14-year-olds who know about or who already have had experience with alcohol and sex (and other vices). (You can see that on TV, eg Maury show, and on the news.) So that does not make 14-year-olds different from those at least 3 years older than they are.

To her, all I can say is congratulations and good luck...There is so much fun as well as so much stress ahead.

Wait a minute: Wait do you think is going on with 14 year olds now. They know more about sex and drugs that the average adult. I have first hand experience because I was a mentor to 7th graders and they BLEW MY MIND. So let's not argue maturity here. and I agree with the mom, she was mature and intelligent enough to graduate and I'm sure her family has instilled some type of values in her so she should be fine in a dorm. Shucks there are 18 year olds in the dorms now who are not mature enough to be there!

Clearly if the person graduated at 14.. they have been schooling with people older than them.. which would most likely have a big impact on a person's maturity. They are probably much more mature than other 14 year olds. and Every parent knows what goes on at college. Come on. On the other hand, I do see your point. the parents might see if differently if it actually ahppened.

Puh-Lease!

14 year old boys or girls simply don't have the personal life experience to live alone without parental guidance.

When you're 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17, you're just beginning to internalize your learned behaviors from your family and friends, just beginning to learn the significance of simple life lessons and you're just beginning to learn how to navigate the world emotionally. These are the years when you begin to establish your friendship boundaries, your intimate boundaries, and your sense of self, and how to pick your friends.

18 year olds are NOT going to want to hang out with a 14 year old, nor will they want to really "help" a 14 year old along. Sorry, but college freshman are just too wrapped up in their whole first-year-of independence thing. And what of the drunken 18 year old guy who idiotically hooks up with another college freshman, unaware that she's 14? What? You don't think this chick isn't gonna drink her first year away from home in college? You honestly think a 14 year old girl isn't going to develop a crush on some hot guy in her class?

This is a recipe for a 15 year old pregnant college dropout. (What? you think her parents are going to willingly put their 14 year old on birth control? You she'll insist on rubbers every time? I doubt it.

Not that I think all 14 year old prodigies will end up in a dorm having sex and drinking, but 14 year olds, in general, are rebellious and even the smart ones will get into mischief. The question is, wouldn't you rather she make mischief around other 14 year old friends and her family or around 18 -25 year old totally independent college students?

I am 55 and mother of 3 college grads. My middle son graduated early "so he could get a head start on real life" LOL He was in a dorm at 15. Any teen smart enough and motivated enough to get out of HS and into the world deserves a chance to prove him or herself. Maturity has no age requirements. Parents know whether their kid is mature enough to deal with the inevitable teasing, etc. Some will not do well but most tend to rise to the expectations made of them. I entered HS at 12. There was initial turmoil, staring etc but I was too busy getting on with the work to pay much attention to issues of social. I simply acted as if I belonged and really had no problems.