China Throws a Temper Tantrum

Let me state for the record that I am a Zen Buddhist. Before you say anything, I must warn you that there is a penalty of death by a thousand cuts for anyone who says "The fat guy?" after I state this fact. Buddha was, in fact, thin; the fat guy is a different individual altogether. If you find out his name and tell me, I'll give you a cookie. Now! To business.

Being Buddhist as I am, I look on the Dalai Lama with a certain amount of fondness. Actually, that doesn't do it justice. How shall I put this? He is the Bono of the Zen sect. If he made a record, it would be made of pure win. As such, I get perturbed when people try to put him down. (Just because he gets around. ...Oh my, that sounded dirty.) AUTHOR'S NOTE: What follows is probably remarkably biased and will try to realte to you the exact reasons why the New York Times makes the vein in my temple throb daily.

It would seem that the Dalai Lama has been given an award by George "I Wanna Be On T.V., Want People To Know Me" Bush for protesting the plight of the Tibetan people making the world aware of the injustice of the Chinese government's occupation of Tibet, and generally being hardcore. I was remarkably happy when I learned of tihs, until I realized that I hadn't heard the whole story.

China, upon hearing that His Holiness was to get this award, threw a tantrum the likes of which have not been seen since I stopped calling my mother a liar when she didn't get me a treat from the supermarket. I wasn't surprised at this fact; on the contrary, I expected a negative reaction. He's being honored for pointing out that fact that China invaded his country and asking them for decades to stop it, please. But what they said and what they did after that almost made blood shoot out of my nose. Direct quote:

"We are furious...If the Dalai Lama can receive such
an award, there must be no justice or good people in the world.”

--Zhang Qingli, Chinese Communist Party head

Give me a second, I need to read that again. Perhaps I'll pick up some subtle nuance, some word or phrase that will magically transform what Zhang said into a coherant message.

Sorry! Didn't work. I guess I was right the first time in pegging Zhang as a liar and crook of the Vladimir Putin school, the kind of man who can say the word "justice" and invoke its power without having a shred of respect for what that word means.

Did I miss something? Did justice and tolerance grow like a mutant flower in the CCP overnight? Because last I checked, these were the same people that brought Tiananmen Square down on my head. Shooting students because they had the gall to ask for democracy. Oh, and this is the same CCP that brought the good people of China the Cultural Revolution, right? Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And totalitarianbrainwashing! That Little Red Book...always on the bestseller charts, I hear. Plus, don't forget the flagrant human rights abuses. And the One Child Policy's forced abortions.

From what I remember from World History class, the CCP has about as much right to talk about justice as Jenghis Khan. How dare he? How dare he? Zhang, old fellow, perhaps we're using a different dictionary, or something got lost in translation. When I think of justice, I think of fairness, equality, tolerance, democratic principles, freedom, and other such sillyness that my good friend Thomas Paine loved with all of his revellious heart. You, on the other hand, are obviously defining justice as your ability to bend the good people of China to your will, like a petty, cruel, outmoded dictator.

Can't the CCP realize that they aren't fooling anyone? They are well on their way to becoming the next economic superpower. Every politician is frightened to death of crossing them, because of what that could spell for their country's trade futures. The world market is too dependent on its damned Happy Meal toys and twenty-dollar Wal Mart tricycles to make one peep about the horrors that the Chinese government has visited upon its people.

Well, it's gone too far now. The CCP must be held responsible for all its past and current crimes immediately. Obviously, the people that rule China have gotten the impression that they can do whatever they want, with no regard for basic decency or human rights. It's time to prove them wrong. Wake up, world. Wake up, nations, and slay the Chinese dragon that is dangerously close to devouring you whole.