A Deeper Look at Progress

Traveling for days on end in the forest, hungry, dog-tired, and probably slightly mad, I parted the last branches in my way and came upon a strange sight. There before me, hidden for years in this vast jungle, was an ancient palace. It was probably of Mayan descent, but it had the qualities of Egyptian pyramids and the intricacy of Incan monuments. There was even a corporate edge to the place. It was a frightening sight after so long traveling in this jungle, but the entranceway would no doubt be cooler than where I was standing now.

I entered a passageway that receded into the depths of the structure. As soon as I walked in, the entrance behind me closed. “Great, I thought, One more thing to add to “Why My Vacation to Central America Sucked”. Strangely enough, the path ahead wasn’t as dark as I expected. I know it’s cliché to say it, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Having no better choice, I continued on down the corridor. The corridor opened into a large cavernous room. There was nothing here; bare walls, bare stone floors. There wasn’t an exit either.

“Great,” I said out loud. “Just perfect.”

Answer the question and you may leave, said an ethereal voice.

I was probably completely insane by this point, so I asked, “What’s the question?”

What is progress?

“Well, I don‘t know,” I said. “Can we try an easier question?”

You must answer this question in order to move on

Huh. It was the classic answer the Sphinx question. Hopefully in this case, I wouldn’t be eaten if I got the question wrong.

I thought to every time I’d ever heard the word progress. Politicians threw the word around like a paper airplane, hoping to entice voters while doing nothing towards that progress. Teachers may comment with “You’re making progress,” when a student improves in his or her work. Progress could describe how far a race car had traveled on a track. A loading bar on a website would indicate how far the page has gone until completion.

“Is progress…moving forward?” I tried, using a specifically vague description.

Try again, the voice said patiently. Heck, I guess I’d be incredibly patient too if I were thousands of years old.

I thought again, this time of ProgressiveU, an online site that offered a scholarship for posting “progressive” blog entries. Countless times I had told newbies with nonsensical posts that they were supposed to blog about progress, but then again--What do I know about it? I can’t even answer a simple question, and I’d been on the site for over a year. Surely the answer was in my skull somewhere…

I tried a different tactic. What would life be without progress? There would be no new laws or regulations. We’d still be living in the stone age, clubbing each other whenever our anger took over. There’d be no science or learning. Heck, we might not have even gotten as far as cave men. We’d be animals, caring only for basic survival: reproduction, food, shelter….more reproduction, more food, etc.

“Progress is everything,” I said slowly, turning on the spot and trying to get a look at who I was talking to. “Progress is moving forward, changing for the better, achieving a goal. Progress…hell, progress makes the world go ’round! Progress…is …everything to humans. We crave it, we revel in it. We are amazed by it. Progress is everything.”

Silence. Nothing happened for the longest time, and I was slightly paranoid thinking some half girl/half lion would come to devour me for giving the incorrect answer. But suddenly, there was a change in the air. Wind. I turned and saw that one of the walls had opened up to the outside of the palace. Far in the distance I could see civilization.

I walked out, thinking to myself, “Good thing the question wasn’t about algebraic problems!”

Before I could reach the exit, the hole closed up again.

A train traveling at 55 mph leaves Detroit at 4 am and another train leaves New York at 12 am…

Crap. I’d never get out of this place now.

*** This entry was written for the Think Progress contest***