What I hope is a good entry about GLBT issues

This entry is going to be a bit different from the last one. I’m actually planning to post a conversation/debate starter, expressing my views on GLBT issues as they relate to today’s society. I’m afraid I’ll be relying a lot on personal stories.

I intend for this to be a serious conversation, and I ask that anyone who responds have something to contribute to the conversation. It’s a general conversation, you can agree with me, disagree with me, add to what I say, share your own experiences, anything. Just be mature and keep things as serious as possible. Spelling and grammar would be appreciated…I’m taking the time to type this out in word just so I can run it through the spell check tool.

Keep in mind that my personal experience on the topic comes from the view of a college student. I do have personal experience on the subject; however, I will be the first to admit that my world view is still a very small one.

Listening to the news, you’d get the impression that the world is a horrible place. There’s violence, murder, all kinds of things. Society is going down the toilet. And, anyone who pays attention can see that a lot of crime is aimed towards people identifying as homosexual, bisexual, or transsexual. The amount of crime against these people has, according to what I’ve found, begun to decrease. However, it is still disturbingly common.

Among younger people, particularly those of high school and college age, acceptance of persons who identify as something other than heterosexual is rising encouragingly. As a female college student, living on campus at a small school in Ohio, I have seen this personally. I have been fortunate enough not to be attacked for my sexuality – I identify as bisexual. Among people who know me, the majority do not seem to care about my sexuality. While it causes a small amount of discomfort among some of my female friends, I have not yet lost a friendship over it. Furthermore, those friends who did at first seem uncomfortable with my sexuality have become increasingly certain that I am no different from them in any other way.

It is a much different story among the older populations. My parents told me all my life that a romantic relationship could only involve a man and a woman. Also, they have made it clear to me that men are always born male, women were always born female. The majority of adults I know would agree with this point of view. Needless to say, I feel that this is a foolish, immature, even warped point of view caused by a lack of education, even, in many cases, a refusal to see and understand the facts.

I have personal experience both with bisexuality and transexuality. I myself am bisexual, and I refuse to be ashamed of that fact. I’ve educated myself, and I’ve come to understand what it means. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, my girlfriend is a male-to-female (MTF) transsexual. Through research, as well as discussion with others, I have come to understand a lot about these issues.

No one knows precisely what causes so-called “abnormalities” in a person’s sexuality or gender identity. However, it has been linked with possible genetic factors, as well as hormonal factors. Society, according to current thought, plays little or no role in a person’s sexuality/gender identity. This makes sense, given the number of people who were raised in strict church-going families who identify as something other than a cisgendered heterosexual.

I was raised as a very strict Christian. My mother is Catholic, and my father is Protestant. I have gone to church in a Catholic parish nearly every Sunday since I was an infant. I volunteer in the Sunday School program, teaching preschoolers twice a month. I remain devoted to God, and I steadfastly believe that Jesus died on the Cross to forgive the sins of humanity. It goes without saying what I was taught about sexuality. However, I do not believe that a person’s sexuality or gender identity has anything to do with sin, nor is it a sin to be homosexual, bisexual, or transsexual. I believe that God made people certain ways for certain reasons. Understanding that this is not necessarily an argument that needs to be pursued, as not all of the people who read this entry will be Christian, I’ll say no more on my personal beliefs.

However, if the way I was raised had any effect on my sexuality, why did I grow up to be bisexual? How is it, that being raised in this sort of situation, I came to fall in love with an MTF? Clearly, it wasn’t a matter of choice! Nor was it in the case of my girlfriend, who was perhaps raised in an even stricter environment than I was, and came to realize that she is transsexual.

I became aware of other sexualities, ironically, while attending a Catholic school in the 7th grade. My religion teacher, of all people, responded to a question about homosexuality as follows: “The church disagrees with me on this. It’s up to all of you to decide for yourselves what you believe. But I feel that sexuality is a beautiful gift from God, however He decides it should work in you. Gay people are children of God too, and they deserve to be treated that way. Not to say you should all go out and experiment with homosexual acts. But I agree with the recent studies that point to DNA as the answer to the issue.”

I distinctly remember, as a 13 year old girl, I was still brainwashed by my parents into thinking something along the lines of “God wanted Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” So his response confused me. During that lunch hour, I hid in the room so I could use the computer to look up this study that my teacher had mentioned. That was the turning point for me. I began to see things differently, and while my classmates continued to refer to homosexual people as “messed up”, among other not quite flattering terms, I came to see the bigger picture. I came to the belief that everyone wonders about their sexuality at some point. As I grew older, I came to find out about still other sexualities, including bisexuality, and also became aware of differing gender identities, mainly transsexuality.

In the tenth grade, I started realizing that I might be bisexual. I remember my first crush on another girl as a time of confusion. “It couldn’t be me.” I thought. As much as I’d educated myself, the thought scared me. I wrote it off as a part of growing up – falling back on the belief that everyone wonders about themselves as teenagers. However, in 11th grade, I began school at a vocational center, and being thrown into society again after over a year in Catholic school followed by three years of home schooling proved to be overwhelming. I had been blessed with enough time on my hands that I was able to continue educating myself on controversial issues – one doesn’t have much else to occupy themselves with when they don’t have any friends to speak of. I made friends with a sweet homosexual boy, who became my best male friend, and with two bisexual girls. I came to the conclusion that I didn’t have to worry. If I was bisexual, then I was bisexual – I’d know for sure soon enough.

And in the 12th grade, the knowledge hit home. I’m bisexual, despite my parents’ attempts to keep me away from things like that, despite the fact that I was considered a healthy girl, and don’t have any genetic defects as far as anyone knows. It wasn’t a choice. I was horrified, to be honest. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone. I realized I’d really known since partway through the 11th grade, it just hadn’t sunk in.

And about six months after this realization hit me, I was on the internet, surfing a web forum that had helped keep my sanity for several years already, when I found a post by a person in the emotional support section. This person was someone I’d always had issues with gender-wise. They identified as male, however, I had trouble not using female pronouns.

This post was stating that the person had come to realize that they are transsexual. There was a lot of information provided on the topic, it was a very well-thought-out post. Unfortunately, the post was lost when the forum moved not long ago; however, I remember some of the most interesting facts.

For one, this person had talked about chemicals released during the process of birth. A child born too early, born by c-section, or who was the result of a high-risk or complicated pregnancy often turns out transsexual. I’ve done my own research into this, and found the same can be true for homosexual and bisexual people, as well. It’s not always the case, however. Children who are born healthy also grow up with different sexuality/gender identity “issues”.

Furthermore, children who grow up without a strong bond between their parents, especially the parent of the same gender, may grow up to realize they are transsexual. This is thought to be a coincidence, however, as it has also been said that children raised exclusively by the opposite gender parent become very attached to the gender role assigned them by societal views.

Either way, transsexuality is not an issue of choice, either. It is at the very least caused by genetic factors.

Should I even bring up the fact that the person whose post I discovered that day became my girlfriend a year later? As much as I’m trying to keep my personal life out of this entry, I’m proud of how intelligent she is. She’s simply amazing.

But anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Is it possible, in today’s world, to educate ourselves and others about issues regarding sexuality? One would hope so, but I’ve just seen something that reminded me of what I think may be the biggest factor regarding misunderstanding, and even fear of, GLBT persons.

The Media.

You have your stereotypical homosexual guy, running around doing the whole limp hand thing, with a high voice, and that odd way of speaking. You can tell instantly that he’s gay.

Umm, yeah. In real life, maybe 1% of gay men are like that. I mentioned the gay friend I met in high school. He’s not like that. You can’t instantly tell he’s gay, though granted, he’s a little bit different from most guys his age. Furthermore, I know other gay guys who you wouldn’t even wonder about. They actually had to tell me they were gay. And ask anyone who knows me in real life…I’m pretty observant.

Then you have your homosexual women, portrayed by the media as muscle-bound, manly women, who frankly are a little bit scary.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. It’s the same as it is with homosexual men. Very few are actually like that…the majority are just average women. Nothing to set them apart at all.

It’s not as common to see bisexuals in the media, but there are still some effects of it. I’ve run into misconceptions such as “it’s a trend,” “They’re really homosexual, but afraid to admit it,” even as far as “They just do it because that means they can have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, and get double the action.”

No. Just…no. Here’s another one where my personal life comes into the argument.

It’s not a trend. Seriously…I have no idea how this got started. I mean…not much is more insulting than to be accused of being bisexual because “it’s the in thing.” That’s just…eh. I’m at a loss for words, for once!

And, I’m far from being homosexual. I’ve been in relationships with guys before, ones where I truly thought I was in love. My first kiss was with a guy…though; he was an idiot (long story, not going into it, thank you very much!) The simple fact is that I like girls, as well. And not just on a sexual level, which brings me to my next point.

Bisexual does not equal slut! In fact, I still have my virginity, in every sense of the word. I’ve never two-timed anyone. I choose who I date based upon people’s personalities. Yes, I admit looks do matter, on a very small level. But I don’t pick dates based on “oh, I’d like to sleep with that person.”

And, the big one here: gender identity and the media!

Here is where I recommend a book that my girlfriend introduced me to. It’s called “Whipping Girl” by Julia Serano. I’m reading it at the moment, and I recommend it to anyone who is interested in the topic of transsexuality. Particularly MTF’s.

Basically, when transsexual people appear in the media, they are seen as desperate to be seen as the gender they want to be seen as. MTF’s particularly…they are shown wearing skirts and heels, often wearing/applying heavy makeup, basically, looking like a guy in a dress. This is not how it works at all…

My girlfriend looks female, sounds female; you’d be hard-pressed to guess. She’s been on estrogen for six months now, she’s really very pretty. I have yet to see her wearing any makeup at all, though I know she does occasionally. She really…I hate to say she blends in, but…She does. She looks like an average woman.

She really is female inside. She is a beautiful, gentle young woman, intelligent, understanding…Not at all what you see in the media.

Furthermore, what upsets me about this is that even in the news you see what people want you to see about transsexual people, not what’s really there. It’s depressing and it really makes me mad.

I’ve pretty much exhausted my thoughts on the issue for the moment, and the page count in MS Word has reached a full 5 pages. So I’ll leave for now, and I hope I’ve brought some information to anyone who stuck around to read this. I’m sorry I got so personal at times; it’s a weak point of mine.

But anyway, I promise I’m done for now.

~Michelle~

PS: Edited for clarity and fact checking (Thanks for pointing out my mistake, shenth!)

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