So today, with a bum ankle from overwork, I'm taking the day off from the wild rice processing process, to read zines and think about things...especially about my romantic relationships and why they don't work. You see, this whole wild rice thing has made me think a lot about this phase I heard recently, something like "there is no love in the primitive world..."
I think there is some truth to that statement; at least, there would be no romantic love the way our culture defines it. Sure, there would be tribal/family/everyone-looks-out for everyone else kinds of love...you know, that love you feel when a friend feeds you when you are really hungry, or when someone takes good care of you when you are sick, that kind of love certainly existed in tribal/primitive cultures, but that romantic/Hollywood love couldn't have existed. Why not? Well because some key elements that make Hollywood romance so exciting wouldn't be there...for one thing, there would be no "boy meets girl," scene in the primitive romance, because all the boys and all the girls would have already known each other; in fact, they would have grown up together, and known each other so intimately already, most of the suspense that makes Hollywood love so great, wouldn't be there. They'd know pretty much every little detail about each other already...from what the person looked like naked, to their favorite food, favorite bird, favorite tree, favorite herb. There would no doubt still be a small element of the whole "butterflies in the stomach" thing, because humans instinctual hate and fear rejection, but it wouldn't be as big a deal, because you'd know that even if that person rejected you romantically, you'd still be like brother and sister, and tomorrow you'd still be pounding yuka together or processing wild rice together.
Also, yeah, there would probably be no nasty, dramatic, Hollywood breakups in the tribal setting; I mean, how could there be? You still have to live with the person you've broken up with the rest of your life; still gotta eat buffalo around the fire at night with him, still gotta ask him for help making bone needles, because he's so good at it and you always break yours...there is this element of cooperation in tribal societies that we don't often deal with in our own culture/society, so you can't have a lot of messy drama to deal with. It isn't like you can pack up and leave town once the relationship sours...you've gotta face that shit.
I saw a movie once called The Long Distance Runner, great film, not a documentary about Inuit life, but a re-enactment of what Inuit life must have been like. There is this awesome slut who sleeps with these two brothers in the tribe...one of the brothers is her husband, the other is married to this other lady...anyway, I thought it was pretty cool how the elderly ladies dealt with the drama....they pulled this chick aside and said "you need to tell everyone in the tribe you are sorry and shape up, or when we move camp next you won't be coming with us..." Drama and tribal living don't mix...you need everyone to function together as a team, or it just doesn't work.
I'm dealing with these feelings right now...being part of rice camp these past few weeks, I feel like I've been pulled into this mini-tribal senario; I've been eating, drinking, pissing, dumpstering, swimming, sleeping and working with the same small group for the most part, and I'm not used to the intimacy that goes along with that; I'm not used to people just peeing in front of me, or swimming naked with folks, or everyone huddling under one tarp together when it rains, some folks dressed and some not, reading The Hobbit to each other...it has been lovely, and this is the level of intimacy that I think all humans crave, deep down inside, but we are too "civilized" to even know how to be ok with this level of intimacy.
What happens to me, whenever I'm in this sort of siduation, is I end up falling head over heels for folks who don't necessarily feel the same...I mistake the intimacy of the tribe for romantic intimacy, and vice versa. I have no clear concept of where family/tribal love differs from romantic love, and perhaps for good reason, because in tribal communities, these overlapped quite a bit. I had a dream relating to this confusion on my part the other night; in my dream, I was making out with my sister. I think this was my ids' way of saying, "it isn't always healthy to fall head over heels for every person who makes an effort to protect and care for you...they may be extending family love, but that doesn't mean they like you..."
Anyway, weird, confusing, opposing emotions are all tangled up inside me from these past few weeks and I'm trying to find a way to cleanse myself of them and build healthy friendships, rather then looking for a Hollywood Love that doesn't really exist.
Love ya,
Carrot
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
