A curious thing happened, when we were all given mirrors and shown how to apply make-up...
A bit of background information- in an attempt to placate a parent threaten to pull her daughter from our school and to raise money for the school, a mother of student came in for an activity period and gave her whole Mary Kay spiel. Apparently, we're going to raise money for the school by selling Mary Kay make-up and skin care products. Now, I find the school touting such ideas to be rephrensible. One "fact" she (the mother, hereafter refered to as "Ms. X") used to support selling make-up in an all-female college prep school is that "women who wear make-up to work make more money and get more raises." My first instinct was to say something to the effect of, "Yes, I hear prostitution and stripping are some of the most well-paying entry-level jobs." However, I was a polite Mount girl and sat quietly and attentively. I find it disgusting that my school, instead of trying to fight it, is perpetuating the idea that a woman's value as a professional is somehow related to her ability to apply her make-up flawless. Yes, one should look good on the job; but such preoccupation with one's appearence is foolish and stereotypical.
But that's not what this blog is about; this blog is about what happened after we received our mirrors.
We all looked at ourselves in the mirrors. Now, most of us seem fairly happy with the way we look. But as we all looked at ourselves, I heard almost everyone making negative comments about her appearence- "My eyes are too small", "my nose is too big", "my lips are the wrong color", etc, etc. One person made one negative comment, and we all began. And once we started, we had to keep up. Your neighbor makes a comment about hating her skin tone; you have to then point out to her that your ears are a strange shape. It reminded me of that scene from "Mean Girls" in which all the "Plastics" stand in front of a mirror and point out their flaws, while reasuring the others that they're so much better looking.
My question (even though I did the same thing at the time) is why? Not even 10 minutes ago we all seemed happy and expressed a fair level of contentment in our appearence. But give us all magnifying mirrors and have ONE person make a comment and we all fall apart.
I have a proposal for the ladies: next time you're standing there in a herd with your friends in front of the mirror, comment on one thing you like about your appearence. Yes, continue to compliment others, but not while simultaneously putting yourself down. Let's see if it changes.
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:)
I wish I could respond with more
Even just the smile made my day. ^_^
Interesting observance of the power of group think and suggestion to turn it around. It'd be cool to see your idea in action.
That said, I'd like to comment about Mrs. X and Mary Kay. I use some of the Mary Kay products (just the skin care stuff, I don't use makeup), since my mom is a seller, and find them rather good in a general sense. Skin care is always a good thing, even if you don't wear makeup. Mrs. X, though, seems to be a bad sales person. Brainwashing and making it sound like everyone has to wear makeup to get anywhere is deceiving to say the least and if Mary Kay was a more organized (for lack of a better term...read: brick and mortar store), then she'd probably get run off the sales floor.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I like the Mary Kay line- they have good products and they don't test on animals. However, I do NOT feel that her sales pitch was a good use of school time. Grooming is one thing- selling a product so she won't pull her kid out is another.
I'm going to test my theory and see what happens. ^_^ I hope you will, too!
Instead of one of your classmates saying a negative comment about herself out loud, why couldn't she keep it to herself, so your whole class wouldn't start saying negative comments about yourselves, you know?
Read my blog!
Even if that particular girl hadn't said it, someone else would have. In my Psych class, we talked about "scripts" for conversation- how most people have certain expectations about how a conversation will play out. Putting yourself down is just part of the "script." Maybe we should fire our writer...
Lol the statement about firing your writer is hilarious. It makes me think about who could be the potential writer of this scenario... It could be the media, or your parents, peers, the school, ect.
But really, ultimately, I would say that we are the writers. Hmmm...
Society. Duh
Lmao.
It's true, but still ultimately you are the writer of your life.
It's so hard NOT to say something negative about yourself while everyone else around you is. I mean, no one is perfect, everyone has flaws. And when the whole negative comments start going around, it is really difficult not to join in.
I've tried to not be so negative about myself before, but it's just so awkward when your size 0 best friend starts to talk about how she has "belly fat". I think a lot of people would be able to get over this if people around them would too.
A group effort would be nice, but it's so hard to include everyone!
~we're the new face of failure~
Good post!
I know what you mean ... I wonder if guys stand around and judge themselves the way girls do. I personally have never heard a guy say "ugh i hate my nose" or complain about his hips.
I really like your idea to start complementing oneself & each other - optimism is much better than pessimism in my book.
I asked my guy friends, and they said no. One of them went on to elaborate that guys do not go to bathroom together and, if there are multiple guys in a restroom, you do not talk and you do not use the urinal beside someone else if you can avoid it. And guys certainly don't talk about their feelings or body insecurities.