I have never been one to be open with my parents about what's going on in my life. Since I was young, I hated when I would walk in the door and my mom would ask how my day went. If I told her something was wrong and I got in trouble, my mom would punish me. So, I decided to avoid telling her anything, even now.
My mom has always wanted a mother-daughter relationship like the ones my friends have with their moms or like on Gilmore Girls. She wants to be able to go shopping with me, listen to me talk about the problems in my life, and in the end, offer her life saving advice that somehow I can't live without.
I have tried to share with my mom before, but my mom does one of two things.
1. She'll yell at me for having "bad opinions."
2. She'll listen, then tell the whole world.
When I was thirteen, I had my mom swear that she won't tell people what I had said to her. At the time, it was the most important thing that was happening; I didn't even tell my friends. She promised and failed. Only moments later, I over heard a phone conversation she had and I lost trust and wouldn't tell her anything.
Keeping things bottled up inside you does no good. So, two weeks ago, I decided to share a piece of my life with her. Keep in mind, this is almost five years later. It wasn't the biggest piece of news, but she was happy to listen. She listened, didn't yell, and promised me she wouldn't tell.
Two days later, I heard her talking on the phone with her boss and telling her what I had only said a few days before. After she got off the phone, I stared at her in disbelief. She was smiling at me and tried to make small talk. I confronted her angrily about how I knew I shouldn't have talked to her. And how she promise one thing and mean another. I told her about how I don't like to share anything with her, because I know she tells other people.
She was upset and told me that she wants me to let her know what's going on.
How am I supposed to let her know about the important things, if she won't keep a tiny secret? I don't trust her.
I Don't Trust You Anymore:Part 1
By pkubik08 - Posted on May 27th, 2008
Tagged: communication
• mother-daughter relationships
• parents
• realtionships
• trust
• Broad prosperity
Not only did my mom tell all my secrets, she also read my journals and notes without asking. No matter where I hid them, she always found them. Yet at the same time, she always told us that we should never betray her trust, because it would be difficult to regain it. Grr.
I was just working on a blog about this, actually. Not specifically about my mom, but about the concept of trust. It's important. I'll wait a few days before posting it, though.
I'm glad you confronted her about it. Keep speaking your mind! She needs to know the consequences of her actions! Sometimes, we have to parent our parents a little bit. ;)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
My mom was the same way! Only the worse thing about her was she would snoop in my stuff, find out my secrets, and then she would tell them to my two younger sisters and laugh with them about them. I still have things I can't quite tell her. I'm sorry. But I'm glad you stood up to her...I haven't been able to do that to my mother yet.
My mom does the same when i tallk to her, but for the good side of things she doesn't envade my privacy of my property. I have learned that i should tell other people that is not my mother.