I’m not good at dealing with death. Philosophically I think of death as just a momentary milestone on an eternal journey, but I’m still not comfortable when I find out that someone in my community has died. I’m not sure what to say to the person’s family and loved ones. I’m not sure whether to give them something, what to give, or the right time to give it. I’m much older than most of you on ProgressiveU, but I’m still learning.
In the past week there were two deaths in my communities, and I learned from both of them. On Tuesday I went to a “Celebration of Life” memorial service for the father of one of my daughter’s friends. The ceremony was informal but touching. Family and friends shared their memories of Jason, and everyone left having learned something about his life – ideas that they could apply in their own lives, and in their communities.
Yesterday I learned that a member of our ProgressiveU community, Kiota, recently passed away. As a celebration of Kiota’s life, let me pass on what I know and remember about Kiota.
Kiota was born in the United States, but lived most of her life in Israel. She recently returned to the US, and was studying at a college in Washington state. She had a passion for writing, and was taking many writing classes at her college. She was only 18 or 19 this year, but she has been writing online for at least five years, sharing a huge range of thoughts with thousands of people all over the world.
She struggled with depression throughout her teenage years, but she had incredible courage. She wrote about many things that others would be afraid to write about, and she seemed to have a newfound confidence this year. She deleted all of her blog posts from last year, just before the new scholarship competition started. She posted many great pieces last year and it pained me to see them go, because it felt like a part of ProgressiveU was being wiped away with a few keystrokes. But she explained that she wanted to start fresh, and I respect her decision.
On her Live Journal blog she wrote recently that she was excited to have gotten into a class on Mental Health Assessment of Children. She wrote about her enthusiastic participation in the class, and it was obvious that she had the potential to help many children and parents.
On ProgressiveU she wrote about her desire to start a non-profit that would raise money for people who want to volunteer abroad, and raise awareness about worthy causes that need volunteers. She was inspired by a book she read about participatory democracy, and she pledged to use the principals of participatory democracy in the non-profit that she wanted to start.
Kiota’s last post on ProgressiveU was on April 12. She logged in on April 13 to check new comments on her blog. She died two days later, on April 15, 2008. The details of her death are not important. What’s important is what we can learn from Kiota’s life. You may not agree with everything she wrote, but every one of us can learn something from her. Kiota reached out to hundreds of thousands of people over the years through her online writings, and each of us can do the same.
I would like to honor Kiota’s interest in participatory democracy by asking the ProgressiveU community how we should honor her. Should we donate to a nonprofit organization that provides scholarships to people that want to volunteer? Should we think bigger, and start our own forum about volunteer opportunities? Read through her posts, decide how you are inspired, and decide how you want to make a difference, both individually and as a group. You can post here, or start new posts under the tag “Kiota.”
Thank you, Kiota, we have learned more from you that you imagine.
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News like this is always tragic to hear about but how amazing would it be to donate in the name of Kiota? She may be doing more than she every realized she would.
I'm not sure if this helps, but here's a little more about her:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/User:Kiota
I guess I figure the more we know about her from her writing, the easier it will be to find out which organization she would have wanted to help the most.
I really can't believe she is dead. Dead. The title reeled me in. Sorry but I am still in shock kind of. I remember when she would comment on my blogs and I would comment on hers. Then we had a little fall out on one of the blogs I wrote called : My Hand sAround your neck will make you run out of breath but you still have to love me. She felt that I needed to choose one point of view and so . Any ways, the last thing I comented her on was the abortion study thing she was writing about. We never had a chance to make amends completley. That what I will really probably hate. In a way , I kind of looked at her as a big sister. Someone I could look up to. At least I got to tell her I felt she was a better writer than me. Man. Now I am really sad. In her memory I would say if everyone commented her on her blogs. At least one or two. And on the website hopefully we can have some kind of a holiday on here representing her.
This is really strange. I'm not going to lie- I often found myself disagreeing with a number of things she wrote, both in her blogs and posts on others. But I continued to read her posts because they were rather addicting. She was indeed a good writer. I read the about me on wiki answers and it was a bit depressing. For example, she wanted to do everything. Specifically writer and social worker. And she never will do those things.
I feel kinda bad because I don't really miss her. I doubt she read a lot of my posts, I can't remember her responding to them, and I never had the nerve to respond to hers. I know she was passionate and honest, not afraid of what others would think. But I didn't know her, even virtually. I have enough trouble worrying about death when it happens close to me. I have been known to cry over the deaths of those I barely knew. It's sad when anyone dies, especially young. I just don't know how to feel I guess.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
A donation to Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN) for their adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse programs would be appropriate. There are other programs out there, too.
The website on which she counseled would be appropriate, as well. I think it's called Teen Help. Or SAVE, the suicide prevention organization. Or...I'm out of ideas.
I'm at a loss. As Kiota would have said...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I think that a suicide prevention program would probably be best.
I can't believe she's gone. I don't know what else to say.
The only organizations I can think of now that operate through participatory democracy are SDS and various anarchist organizations. There are also some ESL (English as a Second Language) classes that operate this way, too, but they are few and far between.
--Mike
I can't believe that she's gone either. Art is right. Since she was a part of our community, we must honor her. I didn't really know much about her or her blogs, but I'll do some research. I like the idea of making a big donation to an organization.
Maybe there can be an extra ProU scholarship in her honor?
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
Like a scholarship for the most tenacious arguer! That would be fitting. She sure stood her ground!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
We could offer a scholarship next semester that goes to someone who best furthers the cause of volunteering. We've had several people over the years who blogged about their volunteer experiences. If we created a special scholarship specifically for someone who did the best job of communicating the benefits of one or more volunteer programs via a series of blog posts, that could be interesting.
I can see several advantages of this. One point is that most people see blogging as only a first step to progress. We have always wanted to encourage people to take action in the their communities, or in the world, whenever they can. Promoting volunteering is one way to do that.
I also like the of encouraging people to share more international experiences. I don't think we should exclude volunteer experiences within the U.S. because there are many worthy causes here too, but encouraging people in the U.S. to learn more about the rest of the world is definitely important.
The current point system wouldn't work so well for this type of scholarship. I think we would need judges, though maybe be could make it more participatory by allowing people to vote at different stages.
As far as the participatory democracy aspect, I'll need to read up on that more. In the meantime: Mike, you seem well-versed in the subject. Can you be our facilitator on this thread, and help us stick to the spirit of participatory democracy for at least this initiative? Have the methods you describe ever been adapted for online use?
I don't know if it'll be any help, but I've attempted to get in touch with her cousin to see if she knew what organizations and such that Anna was involved in that might benefit from such a contribution. If we're going the scholarship route, of course, that point might be moot, but I figured her family might be able to give us an idea of what organizations were important to her in case everyone here opted for for the donation.
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~Fallon~
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't- A. France
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Okay, I heard from Kiota's cousin and am posting her message below.
Hope it helps!
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~Fallon~
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't- A. France
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This is to Mike and Art principally. But for all of us.
Two Funds are already in place right now.
Since Anna's cousin has already posted about Lachan, contributions there should be noted Anna Rosenfeld Memorial Scholarship Fund and if you are in the USA there is a US contact in CT set up to receive funds and transfer them to Israel. [If she didn't give you that, I can, it comes from her Dad.] The Lachan school is within sight of her home, as her Dad tells me, and they did lots more than just teach Anna enough, to achieve SAT scores high enough, to get her into college in the USA.....they helped her in emotional and psychological ways also. In fact, she was fully accepted at one American college and wait-listed at another one, and enrolled part-time in a third. There could well have been others.
This summer in June, she was scheduled to travel to Cambodia to work in an orphanage with abused kids and to further her personal career in photography. She would have received college credit for her work. She was busily involved in raising money for the trip [you pretty much have to fund yourself.] . I was a major contributor. The Cambodia Quest is one of a series of dozens of international programs they run, and I'll list their website below. I have no idea at all if ProgressiveU would want to get involved as an organization in any of that, but they've set up an Anna Rosenfeld Cambodia Memorial and the first money they've gotten is being applied to a construction project to build counseling rooms inside the orphanage with doors for the kids, to provide privacy [they now have only rugs over poles]. A plaque in her honor will be affixed nearby.
They are also going to set up some kind of scholarship fund there, also in Anna's memory, to support educational efforts at the orphanage. I'm told that something like $150 or $200 will support one girl for one YEAR. That's in preliminary planning as I post this.
I don't know exactly what the tax-exempt status of Lachan is, but United Planet operates here in America, out of Boston, and it has full exemption status so all contribs are tax-deductible to the contributor, if that makes a difference to anyone.
I've been lucky enough to be able to contribute to both the fund at Lachan School and to the Cambodia one.
I'm not making a formal plea for funds in any way, I 'm not on the staff of either school or orphanage. I just want to offer this as help and information for Mike and Art to plan with if they want to. Most people here only know Anna from her academic / debating worlds and I certainly want to honor that.
I was an online mentor for her for more than three years, bought a lot of her photography, and when another event took me across the country to her campus, I got to meet her in person and spent a little time with her --- right in the last week of her life, as it turned out: in fact, one night we were in the library together when she was on here fighting a battle with this abortionist creep, while I sat at the computer next to her, checking Emails and writing a report.
So I feel a strong personal connection. To say the least.
Anyway, she was really interested in planning her Cambodia trip, on many levels, before she got swamped by her tsunami of despair ...
http://www.unitedplanet.org
"To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting. ":Joe Gideon
Thanks, this is all really helpful.
I decided personally to give to United Planet in her honor. To me that seems to be a good way to honor her intentions by helping her complete something that she started. As far as contributions, I think each of us should do what we think best. There is no one correct choice in this case.
We should continue to think about a new scholarship, or at least some new special topics for the fall semester that would encourage people to discuss these issues further.
Thank you, Art. I totally agree about honoring her intentions, it's why I'm excited about doing that now also. The Cambodia project also operates on a shoestring, as does Lachan.
I'm only here at all in the first place because of Kiota, and thought I'd leave when my membership is up next month. But I'd like to stay and be a part of any new initiative that ProgU wants to disucss and maybe put in place for the future....as a way of keeping her passions and intnetions alive. So maybe I' ll do that for whatever I can add to the discussions ...
" To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting." :Joe Gideon
Memberships on Progressive U don't expire...
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
Thanks, M-Venus. Kiota tried to correct me on this too. I guess I confused membership with contribution through Paypal to ProgU, which I made. Not because it was required, but because I wanted to.
"To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting." :Joe Gideon
It seems like not too long ago I was reading a really thought provoking blog of hers, admiring her ability for such deep thought...
I know that her passing is real, but it seems unreal at the same time.
While you don't think the cause of her passing is of importance, it seems myself and a few others feel otherwise. Would someone be willing to shed some light on this? (Edit: this has been answered in a PM. Thank you to the one who was able to do so.)
I remember her last few blog posts, in which she had been in contact with the head of abortonno.org and was making him look like a fool by showing him how his facts were in accurate and display how unprofessional he was getting. She never backed down from what she believed was right.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
Wow I cant believe kiota's gone. She was one of the most amazing writers I have ever come across and she was one of the first people to comment on me when I started writing.
I will miss her insight and her amazing views on life.
My little cousin Dylan died and all I needed was a hug, and it made me feel so much better, but it really depends on who you're dealing with.
~Em
I'm glad a post about this was made. This was a nice tribute to Kiota. How should we repay her? I'm not sure yet. Sponsoring one of her nonprofit organizations sounds like a great idea. It could be paid through PayPal if a monetary donation is needed.
~ *~
This is a signature, an automated thingy that pops up when I comment, not a demand to see my blog!
Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
Maybe there's something else we could do, besides donate money..... Maybe sponsor someone to go volunteer overseas. I don't know.... I'm just trying to brainstorm.
That's a wonderful idea, Ivy. Sponsor a person to go in her place, not necessarily to Cambodia, but to a place of his / her choosing. Actually, it's how I sponsored Kiota to begin with: by getting her charity to earmark the money I sent in --- earmark it for her account with them. Certainly some method could be set up so a volunteer high on energy but maybe lower on funds could get help ....
"To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting." :Joe Gideon
Rest in peace
yourfuneralguy
http://www.lowercostfuneral.com/rbrianblog
Got me to think far beyond my little world, and my little country,
the USA
RestinPeace
I can't believe I just now saw this... I'm in shock. Even though I didn't know her, never even talked to her, just reading her blogs and comments have affected me, and obviously many others. She will live in the hearts and minds of many.
-Sonja
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Kiota was a beautiful SOUL who opened the doors of wisdom.
We miss you Kiota.
Harji
I think it's worth remembering how closely she held everyone here on ProU. This site was partly a "test area" for academic work and ideas she was writing on for class requirements, and she found spirited discussions here that didn't exist anywhere else. Just getting back a paper with a grade couldn't hold a candle to having your comments, which she'd carefully consider and debate with you. Frequently this just wasn't available in the classroom setting. It's not too much to say that she depended on the ProU community for valuable feedback and guidance. She also felt welcomed by the "progressive" part of the name, feeling supported in her ideas to have a participatory-democracy fund-raising mechanism established here.
But it was, of course, even more than that. She wrote from her heart as well as her brain... from her soul, if you will. And I'm grateful that so many of you are picking up on that, it would please her.
She would also say, 'High ratings are appreciated" !!
"To be on the wire is life. Everything else is just waiting". :Joe Gideon
Rest in peace
yourfuneralguy
http://www.lowercostfuneral.com/rbrianblog
even after we are gone. Something always to remember.
Just tonight I was drawn into joining proU by reading a post from Kiota. What I read showed me a passionate and deep reaching soul, who was like me, a ponderer of things greater than ourselves and an open mind waiting and searching for the unattainable answers that many struggle with secretly, lying to themselves. Honest, Deep, Intellligent a rare find. I feel sad that I have missed the opportunity to absorb some of those qualities and share.
Yes,
Kiota has shaken us all, her blogs still do (keep Kiota to be amongst) and probably will keep doing so, to read you caught up with the emotion she pushed forward ever so strongly, is all positive of herself she keeps to remain alive in our thoughts!
Rare she was indeed,
http://www.loveearth.com/uk/film/
I just found out about her. This is the saddest thing. I never knew her because I unfortunately joined this site too late. However, I am going to read her blogs now. God Bless.