For a lot of us, whether we know it or not, identity is a hard thing to well, identify. We look at each other and judge, label, stereotype, without ever getting to know one another. For example:
There are many kids at my school who normally I would never associate with. I like to avoid the obnoxious type, the overly "cool" type, the ones who all talk about the same things and dress the same way. I stick to my crowd- people who listen to the same music as me and dress similar to how I dress. But writing this right now makes me realize how greatly I contradict myself, how we all contradict ourselves. Often times I will see someone in the hallway, someone who I never would have thought about being friends with, wearing a band t-shirt of my favorite band. Suddenly this person appeals to me, as if similar tastes in music will make us instant best friends. But when I take the time to get to know that person, most of the time they AREN'T the kind of person I would want to be friends with. You can't judge a person by their music.
So when we all group ourselves, whether its in high school, college, or "the real world", we are inviting people into our lives who maybe shouldn't be there, and shutting others out. We are trying so hard to be just like our friends and make them like us, to perfect the image that our 'clan' portrays. In almost every American high school, theres the prep, jock, nerd, emo, hippie, druggie, loser, urban, (etc) clan. Theres the geeks and the airheads. The goths and the teachers pets. And although many of us may claim to be nonconforming, we are all trying to fit in, trying to be the coolest or the best dressed or the smartest or the funniest. We are competing with every face we meet, every peer we pass in the hallway.
The problem with all this is that we are limiting ourselves, our personalities, our minds. We are conforming to expectations. Everyone has their own expectations to live up to: some parents encourage their kids to be brainy, or beautiful, or good at sports. But the fact is your test scores, your secret admirers, or your trophies do not define who you are. Your ideas, beliefs, and values are what make you the valuable person you are and who your friends should be.
A person's true identity may seem impossible to discover; but a person is only valuable when it has been.
~Chelsea
I really can see where you're coming from. As much as we want to have our own identity, we can't help but buy American Eagle and Abercrombie. Though we claim to think our own thoughts, we really wish our hair would look like theirs. Identity is a tricky thing because we are all trying to be the "cool one," but no one has identified what it really means to be "cool." We all have pretty much the same idea as to what is socially accepted, but as much as we try, we end up being like someone else.
I completly 100% agree with you! I'm guilty of it myself! Throughout high school, I have watched the people around me change. The people I used to play sports with in 1st grade are no longer the same people in 12th. Same goes for people even from last year. Based on one or two people, they've completly changed their look and personality.
Yea, guilty too. I've always thought all the cliques at my school weren't that divisive, but I'm probably just kidding myself. I'm always judging people on what they wear or what they look like. Then again, there are other times when I consciously try to avoid doing that.
Sometimes stereotypes aren't all that bad, though. Many are based, somewhat, in truth, and they help us make order out of a chaotic world. Just make sure not to base your entire world perspective on first impressions and stereotypes, I guess.
I was labeled the brainy chick in school, but people knew me as a hippie too based on the way I dressed and the things I stood for. I hated being labeled. I was and am so much more. I was athletic and in the school plays too. I didn't really fit in with any particular group, so I felt comfortable sort of floating around. I mostly just hung out with my boyfriend at the time, now my husband.
Maybe we need to do a little more floating and mingling instead of settling into one labeled clique.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
But not in a bad way. Are you familiar? There's a song called "Stick to the Status Quo" that is about the frustration everyone feels about being labeled and grouped. If everyone just went out and did heir own thing, there might be less of this frustration, less type-casting, etc. Unfortunately for high schoolers everywhere, the need to form groups by type and to label and be labeled is an important part of your identity development, and you will likely be unable to change this tendency until you hit your early twenties. And some people never outgrow it.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
What happens to the people who never outgrow their identification with arbitrary labels? Are those the trophy wives, to some extent, movie stars, professional athletes, etc? I see these people who don't ever really find themselves as having some sort of mental health issue or at least a rough mid-life crisis.
What do you think e-woman?
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
those people grow up willing to discriminate or willing to believe stereotypes without questioning them.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
that's a dangerous situation we all have on our hands then...
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
But not everyone who adheres to stereotypes is dangerous. I only worry about the aggressive ones.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Great blog on confusion of Identity. We're all contradictions to ourselves. Just look at how much we say we're different, yet act the same as everyone else in most instances. It can be a real shocker to take a step back and scrutinize ourselves in this way to see a little bit of the big picture.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think