I am lesbian mother and I have one son. My partner and I are raising my son together since I had him while we were together. So where do I start, I don’t consider myself to be lesbian but since I have had a girlfriend for the past 5 years now I guess I should face reality. The problem is that I love men I just fell in love with my partner for the wonderful person that she is, not realizing that she was a woman. But back to the point…throughout this entire relationship I have still been attracted to men and the one time that I decided to step outside my relationship thinking the grass was greener on the other side I got pregnant. Before I could tell her when she came home from school she saw the prescription in my junky car. It was a mess. She dumped me and I felt like my world was over. We remained very close however and she took care of me throughout my entire pregnancy and we eventually ended up back together. Problem was I was no longer speaking with my son’s father and had even began to tell people that he was dead when they asked of him. Have you ever been in love with more than one person or have you heard of that? Well it is true because I loved them both very dearly and was even in love with them both. I had shared something with this man who I cam to love and he started to hate me when I told him that I was pregnant. He even began to threaten me and I was like you have the wrong one so I no longer spoke to him and even avoided places where I knew he would be. I even quit my job as a salesperson at the car dealership since I had saved up and he worked there as well. I just wanted to get away at all costs. So when she asked I lied and concocted some wild story as to what happened and said I didn’t want to talk about it ever again in life. So now here we are I am 9 months pregnant, still paying for her to attend college, paying all of our bills, and loving it and hating it all at the same time. I worked up until I went into labor because that is what I had to do to survive. I gave her an ultimatum though, I don’t know if it was out of frustration or because it was time that she did her part. I let her know that she had to get a job whether it was at school or home I didn’t care because I could not continue to take care of us on my own especially with a baby a week away. She came home from school and she got a job in the government and at a tennis shoe store. But it wasn’t enough. We ended up back together that week and I had the baby on Christmas. It was the greatest day of my life and I felt like I finally had the complete family that I never had. We took our son home and that’s where the story begins…until later this afternoon!!!
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your child needs some-sort of male influence...even if it isnt the childs biological father....i think that a child can be raised in a homosexual environment, but you need to explain when it is time that your situation is not a normal one, and that once of a certain age everyone is able to make their own responsible decisions....
until then love your child and remember children even babies in the womb can pick up on mood changes and stressful times.
He'll know that the situation is not a "normal" one just by living in the world. Heterocentricity is everywhere. You will need to explain to him someday that a family is a family, and as long as they love you and take care of you, it doesn't matter what other people say about it.
There are male influences everywhere. Grandfathers, teachers, uncles, friends. He'll be fine without the baby daddy, as long as his moms are stable.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
but why did you use the phrase "baby daddy"....were you trying to be subliminal?
As in "existing or functioning below the threshold of consciousness ?" No. I was just saying she doesn't need the daddy around to give the kid strong male influences. If he doesn't want to be a part of the family, they don't need him.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I assume that no studies have been done on homosexual couples and their children, but the studies kids from a household that either doesn't have or the male influence barely exists are more apt to be incarerated. I think it's time that scientists did this study for homosexual couples. It could either hurt or help the cause, so someone should get cracking on it, lol.
I don't know of any studies in that vein, but my anecdotal observations indicate that lesbian families are usually very stable, supportive environments that put a premium on education. We have to work damn hard to get our kids, and we'll be damned if we're going to let our kids fall through the cracks. Again, that's only my experience.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I don't doubt that homosexual couples look out for their kids and are stable. It isn't if you're homosexual or heterosexual that pertains to less stable households.
I'm just saying that I think a study is needed so that this part of the marriage debate can be put to rest.
as a child from a "broken home"
my dad was NEVER around all he cared about was his next lay, and i was never arrested. i had no father untill my mom remarried when i was 16.
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Little blogging tip: Readers often avoid huge blocks o' paragraph. Try separating your post into several paragraphs and you will have more people who stick through it to the end.
Thanks, and I understand what you mean. That part comes in my next blog though!
I had a "father" who beat me as a child, showed me the joys of alcoholism and overall made my life hell. I haven't spoken to the man in years and I can say my life is certainly complete without him. I had two uncles I loved dearly and meant the world to me and I wouldn't have traded them for the world. As a mother now I can say with absolute certainty that a man is not needed to make a family, only love, support, and stability. The rest will come in time and there will be teachers, family members, and friends that will give your children the love and proper role models they need.
It is never too late to be what you might have been- George Elliot