When you’re born, you’re parents see your future all the time and they never want you to get hurt…right? But is it okay for them to hurt you?
When my mother was young, she was really skinny. But as she got older (and had children), she started to gain some weight and along with the weight came body image issues and low self-esteem.
For me growing up, I was never the skinniest girl nor was I the biggest. I never really thought of my body size as being bad or good for that matter. One day, while I was eating my usual after school snack, my mother said, “You know, I think me and you should start working out. You’re gaining a little weight.” WHOA!!! Where did that come from I thought? Am I fat? I had always seen ‘fat’ people, but I never thought I was lumped in with them.
Fast forward to middle school. I was the biggest girl among my friends at a whopping 150 (at 5’6”) and I thought I was just huge. I wore a size 10 jeas92 sizes under my mother0 and she never let me forget. She was always forcing on some type of diet or workout program. I thought I was hideous. During this time, my mother’s favorite line was “When you get all big and kids start making fun of you, don’t come crying to me.”
In high school, I started coming out of my shell. I was actually the popular, pretty smart girl for a change and my mother had no idea. I was still being told what to eat (and when to eat it). Even though I had popularity, I hated my body.
Moral of the story? Parents, you are supposed to be the ones who tell your children that they are the most beautiful creatures in the world, not downgrade them just because you have insecurities. Be careful of what you say. You may be scarring them for life.
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I think although it can be hurtful, parents should encourage that they're child slim down if they need to. my friend's parents do it to their kids by encouraging them to eat healthier and diet with them. it could be handled in a different way, but if it needs to be done, then it's the best thing for the kid.
i agree that if the child is overweight then something should be done, but in my case, i was no where near being overweight. my mother was just pushing her low self image onto me.
WhAdDyA tHiNk?
According to the BMI, that was mildly overweight. The more important thing, however, is not to focus on size, but to focus on being a healthy size while eating and exercising at healthy levels. It sounds like your mother could have chosen a different approach. Telling children that they are the most beautiful people in the world only sets them up for disappointment when they realize this is not true.
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so if ur child was ugly, u would just tell them they looked like a bulldog? i think not. and actually, i just checked my then BMI and i was healthy. see for urself..... www.bariatricedge.com/dtcf/pages/10_Calculator.htm
WhAdDyA tHiNk?
I wouldn't call an ugly kid a bulldog, but I wouldn't exactly encourage him or her to enter a beauty pageant, either. As I mentioned in my reply, your mother didn't take the right approach. At the same time, avoiding the flaws that children have only hurts them in the end because it causes them to have a much different perception of themselves than the rest of the world does. One of the trickiest things about being a parent is loving unconditionally while still being able to accept your child's weaknesses. We all have them. If we are aware of them, we can adjust our actions accordingly.
As for the BMI, I was using the info you supplied in your blog. You gave your age and weight in middle school. The calculator you are using is designed for adults. Here is a link to a calculator specifically for children and teens:
http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx
I put all the data in, so it should still be there when you click on it. Instead of assuming that you would have been either 10 or 11 at the beginning of middle school, I just went with the age of 15 to err on your side of the argument. I'll let you check the results out for yourself.
Also, you may want to clear the info you last put into the other calculator and re-post the link in your reply. It remains set with the weight and height you last entered when before posting it.
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true it's not about size. think about how much fat though. like for me, i might have a higher BMI (but it's in the normal range) but some of it's my leg muscle. if it wasn't i'd worry.
I agree as well. Mine is higher than expected due to leg muscle as well! I bike and run a lot, but my arms are so scrawny it all balances out.
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