My Friend's Mom Told Me To Get A Job

    I started my day today in a sour mood because of my friend Karen. The first thing I do when I wake up is turn on my phone and read the texts I missed while sleeping. They're usually drunken or induced by insomnia. I read a sober text from Karen. I sighed. HARD.
       Karen insists on spelling "ew" "ewe." She likes to tack an extra "e" on the end. This pisses me off because it makes me think of the animal. I told her this and she sends me a text: "Eweee. thats how i spell it."

       We kept texting back and forth. Karen told me she was with her mother at the nail salon. I told Karen to tell her mother I say "Hello." Karen then texted this reply from her mother. It wasn't "Hello dear," it was,

       "Get a job."

       You're telling ME to get a job? Why don't you tell your daughter to:

       #1: Learn how to keep a job for more than 2 months
       #2: Learn how to score a rebound job by using words like "please" and "thank you"
       #3: Learn how to save money (Karen's in debt, whereas I saved 5k from my nine month job).

       Oh and let's not forget the time I saved this douchenozzle from having to repeat the twelfth grade due to her inability to do her final because of "Christian activites."
       We are still texting. We are now arguing about Zac Efron's sexuality. I say closeted, and she says, "Bah!" She's got a huge crush on him. We're young, jobless, gossip-hungry and melting in the CA heat. Aren't you jealous.

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