Tonight a current section classmate of mine is throwing a potluck party at his new house for our entire section. It's kind of like a goodbye party since most of us won't see each other ever again and if we do it'll be in passing or in a liberal arts class. Anyway, my friend Justina begs me to ask my parents to go and to tell them that I'll be sleeping over her place after the party. She lives in Mayfair, which is in the NE region of Philadelphia. The party, which starts at 8, is in Center City, close to school. It's a BYOB party, which means there will be drinking involved. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have sex. I can control myself if put in that type of situation. However, my dad's been a real stickler lately. (Okay, always.) So knowing that he'd say no, I told her that he did. And when I did ask him, he didn't say no.
He said "definitely no."
"He never lets you do anything!" Justina was upset when I told her he said no. That statement right there, how he doesn't let me do anything, is a stretch of the truth. My parents let me do plenty of things, but there are some things that they don't want me doing, no questions asked. Drugs, smoking, sex, boys, drinking are all part of that list.
A lot of this comes from the culture clash between my parents and society. Too many of today's teenage/young adult population have this silly idea in their heads that once you hit 18, BAM, you're your own person. To a point, they're correct. I can register to vote, I can make my own decisions in regards to medical procedures, I can work at Victoria's Secret, I can enlist in the armed services, etc. The list goes on. However, the way it works in my house is I live under their roof, I go by their rules. House rules, that's fair. However, what I can't get through the heads of these so-called friends of mine, is that just because I'm 18 (I'm 19, but same difference) doesn't mean I can strip naked and run down the street.
My parents have done so much for me, and have dealt with my narcissism, my bratty-ness, my everything negative you can think of. They continue to sacrifice for me, and I have to embrace that. With each year passing, I understand more and more why they sacrifice for me. The least I can do for them is listen and succeed. All they want from me are grades above a B, no pregnancies before I'm married (okay well no sex period), and no goofing off. I can do that.
Despite the fact that this could be a menial task, my peers and even a few elders are making this way too hard for me. I constantly get questioned, and then I get pressed to rebel with the famous, "They won't find out." Sorry, but I'm close enough with my parents to NOT lie to their face.
Sometimes people wonder why I get bitter with them when they throw in my face, "But you're 18, you can do what you want." I'm sorry I'm not as American as you want me to be (mind the fact that I'm an ALL-AMERICAN by-product, produced and shipped in the US of A), but these are my parents and I will choose them over you.
Thank God for my friend Ben. He, too, has Asian parents (okay, I only have ONE Asian parent), and he understands, though he calls them "old-fashioned." My mom's having an easier time letting go whereas my dad just does not want to. Regardless, they both want the same for me, and that's that.
So the next time someone challenges you on something you're just tired of explaining, smile and say, "Don't worry about it." Because frankly, it's none of their business.
Well, even though your parents may be "old fashioned', aren't you partly glad that they are? You pride yourself on not drinking, smoking, having sex at a young age, and you should be proud. I'd rather that kids have "old fashioned" parents as opposed to parents who just don't care.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
Of course. Not even partly; I think I can venture out and say that I'm wholly satisfied with the way I was raised, despite any negative outcomes in the past. I found out earlier (around midnight-ish) that there was not only alcohol at the party I was invited to, but there was also marijuana.
It was then that I laughed and said to my friend, "It's a good thing I didn't go, I would have been a party pooper and left!"
But you're absolutely right. I see too many people my age with parents who are okay with them "having fun." Once when I was in the fifth grade, I told my friend that her mother was a bad parent because of something she was allowed to do. I can't remember what exactly, but I remember that infuriated my friend...but the funny thing is, I don't regret saying that because guess what -- a few months ago, she had her first child and she's a month younger than I am.
We live in a sad time, I'm sorry to say, and there are times when I'm almost ashamed to be part of this generation.