I wake up in the morning and cringe. I don't know if I should say that I wake up or not because sleep isn't really something that I do, it is more something that I attempt. But I immediately know what is ahead in my day and I cringe. Its not because I hate my life or all the things that I have to do but because just the fact that I have to do them all. I'm tired and I'm stressed and I'm human.
I study or crank out papers and projects before classes. I take notes and succeed in staying awake during classes and lectures, I do more papers, studying, paperwork, and such between and after classes and then head to work. I work on my feet until 11pm or midnight and then head home to a wonderful man who wants to complain about his day and tell me what else needs to be done this week. During all of this, I need to figure out how I am going to fit in both of our schedules and errands into the week and all of our bills and necessities into the budget. i run most of the errands and run to pay almost all of the bills. I know many people who do more than I do and I wish I could bow down to them in amazement but my knees won't give right now and my arms are too full but I am truly AMAZED!
I don't truly mean to complain, even though it is really what I know it sounds like, but I am starting to hit the end of my rope. My boyfriend will tell you and anyone else who asks... I am the househopld secretary because I am good at it and he is hopeless at it. I don't mind usually but somedays I could throw the check book at him. Our house looks like a tornado hit it because what time I do have at home, I am either working on school work or trying to rest, sleep or recooperate from work. He is tired after work too but doesn't put in as much as I do and I'm about to put down a few new rules.
I hate to be a dictator but I can only give so much. And I'm about to have a nervous break down! He's going to have to help. We have had someone come in in the past once or twice to do some basic cleaning but I don't really see why we should have to pay some to clean up if he can do it just as easily. If I am being left with all final decisions than here is one more to add to the books. I've hit the limit.
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I'm sorry you are so stressed out. I know what it's like to have a husband (well, in my case it was a husband) who doesn't help out and it is SO frustrating! Hopefully he will be considerate and start helping you out, maybe even do the brunt for a little while so you can get a little break. I do hope things calm down for you soon.
Take care!
Had to give you a 5 on this one because I exactly can relate. Right now I am trying to go back to college , I have a 6 month old at home who wants attention all the time, I have my fiance that likes to get off at work and go to sleep. He likes to leave the house junky. I am the best at cleaning and cooking but that doesn't mean his hands are broke. Then I have to brake my sleep and the baby's at various times in the night to drop him off to work . Then I have to try to put the baby back to sleep. I just want to pass out right now. Good blog.
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You too are in the tornado than I see... well welcom aboard the ride. I give you even more credit because of the little angel you are raising. I only have visitation of my ex's kids off and on (they think of me as their second mother and you can "divorce" a person but not the kids so we're still close) but not on a regular basis and I am not sure I could add them into the mix. While I love them dearly and sometimes mourn my inability to have any of my own, I am grateful somedays that children are not also on my plate. I am sure that what is left of my sanity would long be gone so I give you much cresit and respect! Keep strong and good luck!
From a fellow survivor!