This morning while I was driving to work , ( and running late) I heard a very interesting topic. This morning a girl emailed a radio station wanting their advice on her situation with her fiance.She said her and the fiance are supposed to be gettting married and he still talks to his ex. When he was engaged to his ex, he bought his ex a $5000.00 engagement ring. When he bought her ring , he only spent $1000.00 for her engagement ring. His ex fiance's name is also imprinted I think she said on his neck. What should she do?
A lot of people said leave him. Others said he needs to get the tattoo removed if he loves his fiance.Many said he needs to spend more money on getting her a ring. But lets break this situation down .
Personally the first thing I feel she would need to do is call off the wedding. Neither one of them is ready to get married. He is still wandering around talking to his ex fiance . She is in denial and feels she is confused but she is really not.So getting married would not solve their problems. She would be so iffy about him and the things he does . She would go crazy because she would have to watch his every move and make sure he doesn't cheat on her with the ex. He would keep talking to the ex and the ex would end up purposely trying to brake him up with the fiance. She would even try to sleep with him to lure him back in. Why ? Because if she can't be happy with him no body should be happy .
Second, the biggest issue is he still talks to his ex. If she doesn't talk to her ex, neither should he. I know how a lot of people try to make their ex their friend and still try to keep a new girlfriend or boyfriend. It never works out. Your ex should not be your friend because it causes problems in your new relationship. The new person in your life will feel like you are trying to get back with your ex. And they are right. You can't sit up there and say your are just chatting with your ex and that you have no feelings for them.If you did not have any feelings for them, then you would not be returning their calls.If you are still talking to them , there is some part of you that can not let go. You may not notice at first but it is true.
Third, the name on his neck. He is just asking for a argument everyday. You broke up with this person. You would think you would try to get their name removed or save enough money to get the name removed.There is no acceptable excuse why they "can't" remove the name.
As far as the ring, that one is iffy. Yes he should have spent $5000.00 or more on his new fiance's ring, but at the same time, everyone has to look at he may not have the money he used to have back then. But at the same time if he has a financial situation he can still put back and give his fiance a better ring later.Yes that looks bad that he spent more on his ex's ring and less on his new baby's ring. It makes her feel like she is less important to him.
Overall I don't think she should break up with him just change some things. The tat needs to be removed, more money needs to be put back for a bigger ring and the phone calls to the ex has to stop now. The first step is to stop talking to the ex. If he cannot do this or still sneaks around her back and conversates with the ex, then its over. He is either messing around with the ex or plan's on getting back with her.When peole say things can't be worked out, they can. But at the same time she knew what she would be dealing with when she got in the realtionship. Tell me what you think.
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Should the focus really be on a bigger and more expensive ring? That seems a little odd to me. It's like a competition or something.
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Its not really about the ring. What it is about is he needs to stop talking to his ex. Point blank. I did mention the fact that he may not be able to afford a bigger ring this time around.And your right it should not be about the ring. What it should be about is the love that you two have for each other. But if you have an obstacle standing in the way, it makes it hard to love that person.
The ex is an ex for a reason...But, do they have kids or other financial issues that require continued contact?
The ring definitely shouldn't be an issue. She should chill over that part. Who cares, it's just a piece of metal and a rock. The tattoo-well, has she considered getting the $50 Wal Mart Special ring and using the rest of the money to get the tat removed or covered? Maybe part of the reason it's still there is because she's pressuring him to buy a big ring and he can't afford both.
They definitely should wait until ALL of their problems are worked out.
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I don't think they have any kids or any certain financial issues. As far as the tat. he should be the one trying to get it removed. Not her. She didn't go to the tattoo place and tell him to get his ex's name on his neck. Since it was his choice he needs to get it removed. But you are right about the ring.