How many of us are products of a single parent home? I bet queit a few. Well, I was raised in a single family home. My mother is AMAZING. If it werent for her I wouldnt be here today. She was my mother and my father. She has tried in so many ways to tell me how life is and how i could get through it. But our close relationship is partly from the story we live. And here is the story.
When I was a young child I had no father in the house. My mother would try and cover up why he wasnt able to see me. True he'd visit me but as I got older I began to see less and less of him. Why was I being passed by as his child? I didnt understand why he was always blowin me off. I understood he worked but why couldnt he find time for me. This is when i began to really ask questions and my mother began to get real with me and telkl me what the deal was with his"other Family". She informed me how he had 6 other children at the time and a wife. I began to think about how he was probably spending my time with them. Why havent i spent ONE holiday with my father, why is he EVERYONE elses HERO and NOT mine? And not thatit matters but why havent I received a gift except for a bike that my mom helped pay for and a baby alive when i was like four. Why cantI have something from Him and him only. I dont even care about the gifts but i would really like to be able to just spend time with him. I dont even feel comfortable enough to be alone with him. I dont know what to say. When I was younger I played Basketball because thatshis favorite sport.
But Im going to skip to the present. I Barely see my father twice a year and whats even worse is that he lives down the street and arond the corner(Literally). I dont know any of my sibilings. Well i know two of them. One I had to introduce myself to because we went to the same HS and I wouldnt be able to handle walking past someone who i knew had the same blood as me. We were even on the same bus, and it broke my heart to see all my sibilings in the spring running and playing as my step-mother and at times my father sat on the porch and watched. It mnad me angry and sad at the same time like why am i missing from the picture, why doesnt he want me. And Even if his wife doesnt like me" she dont know me" it shouldnt even matter. Im his child and she has nothing to do with me.
This past winter break I got the balls to finally drive to his house andring the doorbell. His wife answered it and just looked at me like Bitch why is u here. She said nothing but just kept chewin on whatever it was she had in her mouth. So I said could I please speak with my father. She then looked at me for a few seconds, rolled her eyes and called him down. My father came down and closed the door behind him as he stepped outside. I wasnt even invited inside my fathers home. I had asked him when could i meet my sibilings. I thought that he'd finally come through now that i am an adult but Guess again. You dnt know how sad and angry pissed DONE I was with him. I am always the one trying to hold a relationship together and it doesnt work unless u both work on holdin it together.
Back to my mother. Through out my life my tears thoughts of causing harm to myself and questions thatmany other children dont dicuss with there parents shes ALWAYS been there for me. No matter what i did she has supported my choices. My besst friend is all i can. I cant even stress on how much I love her and how i wouldnt know where id be without her. She has helped me get through this life. There are not enough words that can express how i feel. But although She is my best friend whoes been through the thick and thin with me i must leave her. I choice this because I like the freedom and I feel like she needs to live a more fullfilling life instead of having to pay for things ive created bills for or worring about hot how to handle my terrible phone bills lol ect. But Mommy NOTHING and i mean NOTHING can break us apart No matter how far I am away from home no matter how long in time. We will never be apart. I <<<33333 You mommy!!!
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
Aww this blog is very touching. Tears came to my eyes when reading it. Sometimes you feel better if you post a blog to let it out. I use blogs for this sometimes and it really does help. I enjoyed reading this one and you are a very strong woman.