Yes, this is another attempt to teach the parents on this site or any parent about parenting.
As a seventeen year old, I feel as though I need my parents to be less like my parents and more like my friends. Now, I'm not saying that I want to go shopping with them and sit around gabbing and gossiping over dinner; I simply just want to talk to them about what's going on in my life and get some input on it, without being judged or being lectured.
Think about it: I have graduated high school and have been working on my own, scheduling my own time, being responsible for getting food, and for budgeting my money. All this has been done without my parent's help. If I'm capable of wisely spending my time and money and rarely seeing my parentals, I shouldn't be yelled at by them. Once you get to a certain age, parents need to realize that they've taught you all they can, if you don't change by them yelling at you, you won't change for a while.
My dad and I had a conflict last week about me going on a trip. This particular trip was something I had been excited about, but since I split from a guy, I haven't been interested. We had planned to go together. Also, with the way things are turning out for me financial wise, I can't afford it. My dad doesn't see this and wants me to go. He not only wants, but insisted I go; practically anticipating to drag me on the plane. I yelled and argued. I got my way.
This week when things calmed down, I simply said: "I can listen to your opinion, but I don't have to take it. I can respect what you say, but I don't have to do it." I think that it showed him that I'm maturing and it's time I get opinions, not lectures. Unfortunately, he doesn't see things the way I do and thinks parents need to be parents, not friends.
What do you think?
Will You Just Be My Friend?
By pkubik08 - Posted on June 10th, 2008
I am also a 17 year old girl with financial responsibilities amongst other thing and can relate to you on some levels. Even though that may be true, I cannot agree that your parents should be your friends. I think that your parents will always lecture you and yell at you even when you're 35. Parents will always see their children as when they were just that, children.
Parents do not equal friends and they never should. It's hard to look at it from their point of view when all you want right now is freedom paired with the roof over your head and the financial safety they give you. It's harder for them to let you go more than you really think. They only lecture you because they care. It's also very hard to find the balance between letting your child have the freedom they ask for and not letting them have too much to the point that you seem to not care. It's a tough balance that every family goes through that will come with understanding and communication.
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"Most intellects do not believe in God, but they fear us just the same." - Erykah Badu
I think usually the adult teen conflict stems from a fear and shock to the adult of their maturing growing independant team. This particular scenario here seems diffrent somehow. Seems more like your dad was trying to be your friend (still the dad though) and get you to get out and do this thing you had been so excited for... You probably should have gone... he just wanted to see you happy.
No matter what a parent does he or she will screw up their kids one way or another and I am pretty sure their is no way to please a young adult when your the mom or dad. I better get use to this now because the way my youngins are growing it wont be long now...
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo
I am also a 17 year old girl but I feel as if your parents are your parents no matter how strict they are and your friends are your friends. If parents acted more as friends then we would be running crazy and have no guidelines.
I can sort of see where you're coming from, but I tend to agree with the other commentors above me... no matter what, your parents are your parents.
However, I think there's a way that they can sort of release their overpowering parental behavior and treat you more like an adult.
To brag about my parents for the second time on the site in less than 24 hours, I think they were really successful with this. It wasn't until I turned 18 (or got close to it...) but they really have a knack for talking to me like an adult, even in the way they joke around. Even though they keep a bit of parental control over me, they allow me to make my own decisions and put their input in without being jerks. They've always been really supportive, too. When I told them I was moving out, they gave me their opinions and told me good luck. They're always there when I need them, and they're still my parents.
That's how I think parents should be when we become adults. :)
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Your Tongue is a Rudder; It Steers the Whole Ship, Sends Your Words Past Your Lips or Keeps Them Safe Behind Your Teeth... [Brand New]
I'm just barely coming out of the stage that your in. And I totally see where your coming from! You know your responsible and you just want to be allowed to make your own decisions! But it doesn't have to be either friends or parents. Your parents can be both. They will always love you and try to "encourage" you to do what they think is best. But you can also commisserate with them on your experiences and just talk! I agree with you that sometimes you need to feel like you're not being judged. I totally agree with that. Honestly? It's time for both you and your parents to do some more maturing. They need to see you as an adult, and you need to acknowledge that your still they're baby. Even if you don't want to be treated that way!