I’m sure most people know of the double standard – girls shouldn’t have sex, but boys can (okay, my problem is this: who are they sleeping with if they’re straight and no girls should be having sex? Okay, I’m done with that). The girls are the sluts, and the guys can get away basically unscathed, unless there’s an STD involved, but that’s not the point of my entry.
My dad’s nephew and I are relatively the same age (he’s six months older than I), and sees our grandparents more than I do. They’re more involved in his life than in mine, including any dances he had, and such. Our Sophomore year, he went to Homecoming with his then-girlfriend (they broke up at the end of the year, I think), and all was well. We found out about halfway through the day that he was planning on spending the night at the girl’s house. In her room (because it was the only one left) with her. Uhhhh. He was sixteen, and I think she was either about to turn or just turned sixteen, herself. I asked my mom why it was okay for him, in their eyes, and the answer was that he could just pass it off as her being a slut, if anything happened. That was just my mom’s opinion, though… But it made a lot more sense later that year.
They came down for New Year’s, 2006, bringing my brother. My parents had decided that I could have my then-boyfriend over, if I wanted to, and that he could spend the night. My grandparents had a FIT. Where would he be sleeping? On the couch in the living room. Where would [I] be sleeping? In her bed. How would they [my parentals] know if any hanky-panky was going on? My bed squeaks really loud when I get on or off of it.
They just didn’t want me ruining their family’s name.
WOAHWOAHWAIT. I get that I’m adopted, but that’s no reason to be rude about it. I’m no slut! I’m not that stupid – I’d never do anything with my dad and brother less than 5 feet away (they both “accidentally” fell asleep on the couch that night)!
I’ve heard of that double standard in society, but that’s the first time I’d seen it within my own family. It just bothered me. Because my cousin could blame it on the girl being promiscuous, he could sleep over at her house, in her room… But because I have the vagina and the family name, I couldn’t have my boyfriend sleep in the same house.
Thank anything and everything that my parents aren’t completely like them… Even though they have yet to have my boyfriend sleep over (and he and I have been dating longer)… But that I can understand, too.
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It's a proven fact that the family name is kept sacred inside your vagina. haha! It sounds quite double-standardized to me. I guess that's older people for you!
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When I was your age I was sleeping with my boyfriend of a year and a half. I took the initiative to get on the pill because I knew my mother would never allow it. She found out and took the pills away from me. The next year at Christmas, when she found out my brother was having sex with a couple of girls, neither of whom he was really dating, she and my dad put a box of condoms in his stocking. Ridiculous double standard! My mom said that she took me off the pill because she didn't want me getting pregnant--WHAT? She thought I would quit having sex. She said she gave my brother condoms because she didn't want him to get anyone pregnant. That's some circular logic!
Too bad for my family name.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
My mom shoved me on the pill when I was 14, then took me off after a year. I just got back on it, and while I haven't explicitly stated it, I think my parents are starting to pick up on it. oh noes, good think there's only a few more months until I'm separated from my boyfriend by three hours and a lack of a car.
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Well, as a guy, I would have never believed any of you if you hadn't provided personal experiences as examples. I'll at least add that I certainly don't hold myself to this double standard (I think plenty of the guys I know are "sluts") and I will hold my children - no matter what sex they are - to the SAME, single standard.
Your future daughters thank you!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
My parents must have been naive because I would come home late at night literally glazed in semen from a bunch of guys and they never even mentioned a word. In my house there wasn't a double standard because my brother was basically a celibate nerd and I was the slutty one. God, what my mom found in that laundry basket I almost cringe to admit.
Sounds like you actually just had them masturbate on you if you were "glazed in their semen," so you could technically be a virgin. Don't be so hard on yourself (no pun intended) by calling yourself the slutty one. We all go through a phase like that. Just my two cents for what it's worth.