I have a serious problem. One that I very well could be headed to Hell for. I have had an immensly bad past. People have hurt me. People have betrayed me. Two of those people being my mother and my father. Not to mention my grandfather and almost all of my fmaily. I think that is what hurts the worst. The only one that was truely always there for me. The only one that will truely always be there for me is my grandmother. She is the only family I have, well other then my siblings. I still have to deal with all of their nonsense. I am just kidding! I love my siblings. Anyways, I cannot forgive the people that have hurt me! God knows that I have tried but I just cannot do it. And I know that counsling will probably help me so there is no need to say it. Besides, I am going to start going to counsling when I get back to school. I have the most trouble forgiving my family. Then I have the second most trouble forgiving those that have hurt my family. Like my grandmother's husband that is cheating on her with a man. He is gay and my grandma has to sneak out just to see me because I told her he was gay. It is not like it made any difference because she still lives with him. There is honestly no excuse for that. I know that he is gay and cheating because I have heard stories from like four different people. It has also come out that he is a child molester which is no surprize to me because he molested me. I just hope that he knows that if he touches one of my siblings I will have him thrown in jail in a nano second! I also have trouble forgiving the man that physically abused my siblings and I and got us taken away from our mother. You see, grudges are very unhealthy! I need to get rid of them ASAP!
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time heals pain
some don't go away
if u allow love to enter
another day of happiness may come your way
that's all can say for now.
I would like to tell you that you should let go of the grudges, but one of my teachers told me that you can love someone because they are your family, but that doesn't mean you have to like them or respect them for things that they did.
I believe her. The reason, I was physically and mentally abused by my mother. She tried to abuse my siblings, but I stopped it by getting help. There was no way I was every going to let something like that happen to anyone else, family or not, if I could stop it. The pain is real. I'm not letting anyone live through it if I can help it.
I'm telling you to be strong. Learn to live with the truth. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to forgive someone for molesting you. You don't have to forgive them if you don't want to. If you do forgive them, don't forget it and don't tolerate it happening any more. If you do, you'll just be contributing to the problems.
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You can't ignore me, for I'll not lie down quietly.
http://insanitek.net
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