Everyone has that one thing that seems to make the rest of the BS in life easier to handle. Something that makes your blood rush and you feel high without chemical stimulants. Something that allows you to escape for a little while. I think I have found mine..... MUSIC. I don't jsut mean listening to it. I have always had a slight understanding of what it meant to me.... but I was a closet case so to speak. Writing lyrics just so I can lock them away in a box or longing to play but always too afraid to share that information with anyone else because they would just laugh right? Well, I guess not. And heaven forbid I ever try to sing anything. Mom always said I sucked at carrying a tune or hitting a note. So I should just give it up right? Again... I guess not.
I spend atleast a little time each day with a guitar in my hands now and I finally feel the true depth of power behind music. The love and yearning inside is now full blown! I think I am truly addicted. I get high after practiceing for a mere hour. Each new little thing that I finally accomplish is just F***ING COOL. Each song I am able to wrap my vocal chords around is just that much more of a high. I can't get my self to learn fast enough! I have a high level of expectations for myself. I am just not practiceing enough, hard enough, or often enough! I would do it all day if I could get away with avoiding work...lol. The comment from a few that it is a sort of phase.... I can't even give it a moments thought... This has been growing within myself for years and the fact that it is finally being realized is just too wonderful for me! It is actually doing something unexpected also..... I am starting to get some self esteem and self worth back..... I am stronger and not so scared of life anymore...... I am not saying that my guitar is mnagic and makes everything all better... I am saying finally doing something that hits me so strong is what is making it happen.... I am finally believeing in myself little by little.
So yes, my guitar, my practice times, my practice buddy, and each note i pick correctly, each chord I strum pure........ that is my life line! My sanity comes in a gig bag!
