If you have a legitimate argument as to why a boy should not be allotted pink, then by all means share. But as far as I can tell, pink and rainbows will not make a person gay. Honestly, if a boy turns gay it will not be because he liked rainbows and pink.
I was going to write this whole blog on gender roles and socialization, and how neither of these have much effect on homosexuality. Unfortunately, my daughter turned off the computer and this entire pink theory has gotten me so upset that I doubt I could write coherent sentences into a logical argument and good point.
Please glean from these two instances what I did not have the patience to say and share you views.
Instance one:
It was my son’s first visit at the dental office and like all children he was a wee bit nervous for the first experience of anything. This particular office was geared towards young children to help them feel at ease. One thing that helps is the give a child a choice, so the technician allowed him to choose his color of the toothbrush. She offered a red, yellow, blue, pink and green. My son, with some enthusiasm, said pink because it is his favorite color. I do not mind because, frankly, I rather have him chasing pink and skirts then blue and pants, you know what I mean ;) …basically no big deal he is a young person and can not know about these things. She just glanced at me in the clearly uncomfortable stare of ‘I don’t want to make him gay’ and told him that they were out as she offered the blue one. He ended up disappointed with the yellow one, but at least he understood that when your out of a color your out. This case was no big deal except for then I questioned the intelligence of the assistant.
Instance two:
My son loves to go to AWANAs and this Wednesday he was no less excited to go, apparently moms and homes are boring to a four year old. Anyway, they had a competition on learning verses in his class in which he is the only boy. I am not sure what the teacher thought making the first prize what she did, maybe she figured their was no way my son would win since he is not much of a talker. To no surprise of my own, he learned the verse and said it right when asked faster and more often than the other children. HE WON!!! He won first prize, Crayons!!! He loves to draw and color so when he was given the choice for some water toy or colors, he wanted the colors more than anything. He should have gotten them, I mean he earned up right. BUT the teacher was uncomfortable giving a boy the prize since it was girly pink papered crayons from Barbie or something. She tried and tried to offer him something else to no avail.
He came home with nothing. When my husband told me this it broke my heart. He deserved those damn crayons but there was none left when the teacher was told it was okay.
I actually cried, that crazy woman stole a piece of my son’s innocence. This was supposed to be encouraging. My son is the kind of boy that it only takes once for him to learn.
How will I undo this? How could this ignorance be forced pointlessly on my son?
AGH!! My poor baby, I am to upset to make anymore points than these ones:
Pink wont make you a homo so let people love what they want and
Don’t force your socialization on other people’s children; you might be coming from a stupid place!!!!
*UPDATE ADDITION* He wanted his nail (just one) painted silver like me and my daughter's toes. I had no good reason to say NO so I painted his one finger. Later he was told that nail polish is for girls...The little genious sad "actually it for boys and I like it". DId I mention he just turned 5.
Do not tell my son that anything is 'girl stuff' if you can not give a coherant answer.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
Awww <3 I'm sorry your kid had to go through that, he seems like a sweetheart. I mean pink is just another color, it seems that society is trying to push something onto him that he doesn't want...and frankly won't be a big deal. I mean seriously if he likes pink then great! I mean I'm a girl and I like blue so whats with the double standard... :P
-----------------------------------------------------
"You're asking me to *read*?! I'm not even in class...and just to think I had to put on pants for this."
~npsm18
Best video evar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD8qubsp39M
I think the real problem here is with the fear of homosexuality, not with the fear of the color.
A pointless fear at that wouldn't you say.
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo
I think you are absolutely right with this statement. It kills me that yet reading this.. ppl think it's something you 'catch' or again... it's a 'choice' when it is not.
JM
how much prejudice/gender roles and things like that come into play from the youngest age,
and i can totally see how this happens (but it shouldnt') because even before a kid is born, we (most people) need to know the sex so we can know what type/color and sort of rooms to set up, granted it should be that kids can wear and have any colors when they are babies but as soon as they start growing a little older WE dictate what is right and what is wrong
i guess we have been the ones who have been taught and taken to heart these sorts of gender expectations and prejudices against certain toys and colors misc.
thanks for sharing, it will affect me someday when i have kids and i'll remember this
"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."
They say "Tough Guys wear pink" because you have to be tough to be yourself nowadays. However , I think there is something to be said about all of these shows on television that are promoting homosexuality. I have nothing against gay people but i dont think that children should be subjected to watching and hearing all about it from a television. As for pink.. it is just a color not a meaning people need to get a clue about it. Im a girl and i love blue but does that make me gay as well as a boy liking pink?
Brenda Cherie
"subjected to watching and hearing about it"? Even if you have "nothing against" gays, statements like that prove you still are not comfortable with them.
What people need to realize is that GAYS ARE NO DIFFERENT! In the bedroom and in romantic relationships there are slight variations, but other than that THEY ARE NORMAL EVERYDAY HUMAN BEINGS! Just as someones race does not affect the fact that they are a normal person, neither does orientation.
Sorry if this came out as a rant, but it has been irritating me so much lately to see people classify all "GAYS" together, when really there is very little in common across that group, and very little different from "STRAIGHTS"
that's disgusting that anyone, especially ADULTS who are supposed to know better, would act that way.
i wish you could file a complaint or something, this has got to be some kind of weird violation of some rule somewhere. there's no way it could be allowed.
--stacie
These people are clearly uncomfortable when it come to homosexuality, and don't know how to handle it. That is very sad, because to your son they are authority figures, and he will start to question what he is doing wrong.
It is sad when people are so misinformed, especially when they can project that onto other, more impressionable people.
I can't even believe that. So what if it would make them gay, anyway? Why are so many people so homophobic? People should be allowed to do whatever they want if they aren't hurting anyone.
How awful. Your poor baby! I don't understand why people think that boys can't wear pink, have pink anything, etc. Can't play with girl toys, or paint their finger nails or anything else. Something you might think about doing is picking up a few small pink toys (crayons, etc) that you can carry in your purse. That way when he wants something pink and adults are being morons, you can just whip out whatever you have on hand and give it to him. Don't even have to say a word to the moron adults; just do it in front of them and go about your business like nothing ever happened. They'll think twice about it then.
My 3 year old nephew loves sitting down with me and his mommy and getting his nails painted. He has a baby doll that he performs treatments and such on when we do his brothers treatments. My mothers boyfriend has an absolutely fit about it. "Oh no, he CAN NOT have his nails painted." "Boys don't play with dolls, that's for girls, everyone will laugh at you!" We go around and around and around and around about it. It's not going to make him any less of a boy, it's not going to "turn him gay", it's not going to do him any harm. Just leave the kid alone and let him be a toddler for cripes sake!
-----
~Fallon~
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something." Henry David Thoreau
-----
That's awful! When will people learn that homosexuality is not something you catch? Even if they thought this, how would a color of all things force a child to be gay? One of my favorite colors was black when I was little ... Why? Because I was born to worship satan [which is what my grandma thought]? No! Because black paper & shirts made glow-in-the-dark stickers, etc. look awesome.
People & their assumptions ... shame shame.
I don`t know where you live, but it must be a very redneck town (or maybe its your social circles} if a dentist refuses a kid a toothbrush color because of his sex.
I detected an element of homophobia in your own words though, when you made a comment indicating that you want him to be skirt chaser instead of a pants chaser and added a smiley wink and the words ``if you know what I mean.`
Yes, I think I know what you are implying, but I find your words a little concerning.
I would feel sorry for your son if he is gay and during his whole childhood, he is being told not only at dentist`s office and the kids group you`ve chosen but by his own mother that these kinds of boys are not ``quite what I want in a son`` (nudge~nudge} ``if you know what I mean.``
Those kinds of words can be very hurtful to a gay kid, or even to a kid who may incorrectly be presumed to be gay and just wants to be accepted for who he is.
Parents, you do not know if your kids will turn out gay or straight, so PLEASE give them affirming messages that let them know you will love them no matter what. Seemingly innocuous statements like the one highlighted here send a message that a gay kid will not be accepted, which will force a kid to hate who he really is. That is too sad. I know from experience and from years of mental health bills what the cost of silly statements like that can be.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I live in podunk bfe so this maybe the problem. I would never say anything like this around my son. We have had many talks and love our children regarldless.
I was going to say I do not have much choice in what kid groups I take i
him too but then I remembered what this post was talking about. Gay or not I still think church groups are good if we could just get around what the bible does and does not say.... Why is parenting have to be so complicated.
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo
You know, maybe the teacher was not concerned as much with the "girlness" of the prize than the potential for other children to tease him. Maybe her thoughts were more focused on how his peers would treat him if she were to give him a Barbie type prize. I am honestly not sure what her true intentions were, but I would like to believe that a teacher of young children is not necessarily fearing homosexuality but rather avoiding creating conflict among the children.
cowards. They pass up a teachable moment that could let students know that teasing is not tolerated because it might be uncomfortable? Because the child brought it on himself by being different?
How dare that four-year-old be different?! How dare he make an educated adult uncomfortable?!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
And SO angry! This happens to me and The Princess all the time. Whenever we are somewhere with a toy prize, he wants the pink prize, so I say (because he is too shy to speak to strangers, even with his grown ups around), "He'd like the pink one." Nearly every single time, the person with control over the prizes spends five to ten minutes trying to convince him he really wants the blue one.
Luckily, The Princess knows his own mind. He is never swayed by those asshats.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
You are a comfort.
I sometimes wonder if I am making nutcases and its good to know my kids are not the only ones secure in liking what they like even against social odds.
Would it be totally wrong to fly over a counter and smack someone upside the head for being stupid...its a color for crying out loud.
Thank you,
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo
Let's just start telling them "It's a color...it has neither a penis nor a vagina."
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Can I just say...
YEAH!~ Someone else finally said asshat on ProgressiveU!
-----
Free books need new home.
~Fallon~
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams."- Pace
-----
"My son, with some enthusiasm, said pink because it is his favorite color. I do not mind because, frankly, I rather have him chasing pink and skirts then blue and pants, you know what I mean ;)"
-What does that mean????!
"Pink wont make you a homo so let people love what they want"
-And WHAT does that mean?!?!? homo?
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -F.N.
Not the homo bit, though. tgunnegan seems to be basically an ally--meaning she seems to be thoughtfully considering the issue--so I give her a little sway on the terminology. Consider the environment she's in--small town, military. Not the most gay friendly. It's difficult to be completely accepting in that environment. She's working it out. I am interested in witnessing this journey.
But I totally agree that seemingly innocuous statements like that can do some serious mental damage to a child, whether they grow up to be gay or straight.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman