Is there a secret formula to marriage? Some may say yes, others may say no. I believe in the Secret formula and it is no secret, the secret formula is God. If we trust and believe in God the good will outweigh the bad. I have been married for 5 years, and the storm we are battling is the Doctor told my husband he will not be able to have kids, and my husband has none. I have a 13 year old, but I know he wants one to carry on his name. This has been a strain for the both of us. I know plenty of marriages that have divorced because of this. I know you say that aint too bad at least he is not cheating on you. Sometimes it goes deeper that adultery. With god we are getting through this and I will give a update when I get pregnant, because I believe God. The secret formula is the Word of God. I know if God did it for Sarah and Abraham he will do it for us. Anothr secret formula is patience, we have no patience today. We want everything served on a platter right than and there. You married him and you knew he was like that all of suuden the day you get married you expect him to change no it does not work like that. I am finding out a lot of stuff we go through as women we really cause it on ourselves. I am not bashing women but it is time some one told the truth. What do you think?
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If the doctor told your husband he couldn't have children, chances are that's true. I believe in God and miracles too but that doesn't mean I think God is going to come change a major biological thing in my life just because I want it bad enough and pray really hard.
A couple I know can't have children because the woman had endometriosis that was so bad she needed a hysterectomy. They want children just as much as thousands of other couples but it's just not possible.
You can always adopt a child. If you want someone to carry on a legacy, there's nothing wrong with adopting a child. There's more to having kids than your DNA matching. With an adopted child you are still raising it and passing on your values and beliefs and raising him or her to be the best person they can be, someone you and your husband can love and be proud of. He or she will be just as much your and your husband's child as one that you gave birth to, plus you'll be making sure an otherwise unwanted child has a loving and stable environment in which to grow up.
Or if those genetics really are important, you could try going to a fertility clinic and doing in vitro. They find and take a viable sperm, implant it into one of your eggs, and then implant the fertilized egg into your uterus. I saw it on Private Practice this one time.
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I encourage you to think of adoption as an alternative. If you believe in God and miracles, then why wouldn't it be possible for God to bring that miracle in the form of an abandoned child who needs your love? Too many people seem to dismiss the option as being too hard or "not the same." Look into it.
Also, there are some situations that women get themselves into simply due to lack of education, a bad family life, or low self-esteem. However, if you're suggesting that if a woman were to marry a man and then divorce him because it IS a bad situation (aka abusive, drug or alcohol addiction, or simply an unhappy marriage) then that woman is sinning or a bad wife in some way, I would strongly disagree. Relationships definitely take work, and lots of it, but if you're the only one working and you're miserable because of it, then it's not good for the children or the parents to stay in that.
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You must be the change you wish to see in the world -- Mahatma Ghandi
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. --Mahatma Gandhi
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