I either read or heard the other day something about how gay marriage should not be allowed because it will further destroy our social network, or something along those lines. Furthermore, the person said that divorce has ruined our families and that it should never have been allowed.
Well, my parents got divorced when I was 5. And both have been divorced a second time. And you know what? I'm happy. Yes, it has been a bit upsetting that my father hasn't been a large part of my life. But I knew from a relatively early age that my father cheated on my mother. With the woman he later went on to marry and divorce. I feel that because my mother had been allowed to divorce him, that I have lived a better life. If they had been forced to stay together, I probably would have witnessed innumerable fights between them, and it would have been more and more difficult to have the close relationship I have with my mom.
If my dad had not been allowed to divorce my first stepmother, everything would have gone to hell. She is one of the most manipulative people that I know, and will stoop to low levels to get exactly what she wants. She even accused my dad of beating her when they were in the process of getting divorced, and tried to take custody of my sister away from both my mother and my father. I can only imagine what that situation would have turned into had divorce not been allowed in our society.
For those that turn to the Bible to say that divorce is wrong (and yes, this is one of the few passages I know about because it appalled me so much when I read it), think about this for a second. If you are a female, would you want to divorce your husband if he beat you? A good percentage of the time, that answer would be yes. I don't think a woman should be forced to stay in an abusive relationship, and I certainly don't believe in the notion that the person who initiates the divorce is an adulterer. Divorce is not a bad thing. If the marriage simply isn't working out, no matter how hard those in it try to keep it together, then it should be dissolved. That being said, I hope that I don't have to ever get a divorce, because I know the pain it can cause. But if it comes down to it, less pain will be suffered if the parents get a divorce than if they stay together in a broken marriage.
That being said, gay marriage is no worse than divorce. If two people love each other enough to actually get married, then they will raise any children that they adopt (or if the two people are women, carry) with the same love that two parents of the different sexes can. My mother is a single mom, and she has been for the past 7 years or so. She had done a marvelous job at raising me, and I don't see how not having a constant father figure has put me at a disadvantage, except that I know more about the feelings and actions of women than I do men. Gay marriage should not be banned simply because some closed-minded people think that it is detrimental to our society. The fact of the matter is that these people would probably be living together whether they could get married or not. The only difference that legal marriage makes is that it makes it easier for hospital visits, wills, and other contracts to be carried out the way the couple wishes them to, rather than allowing for a contest of these contracts based on the surviving family members' opinions of their son/daughter/brother/sister/niece/nephew/etc's lifestyle.
Disagree with me if you wish, but divorce is not a bad thing for our society and neither is gay marriage.
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I have to agree with you. The smartest thing my parents ever did was to get a divorce and go their separate ways. I just don't know why they stayed married as long as they did. But, divorce shouldn't be the answer to everything either. One should think seriously about how they see their future (and how their partner see's his or her future as well), really know the person they are marrying, and be committed to making the marriage work before entering into said marriage. Far too many people do neither of those things anymore and then wake up one day after being married and realize they made a mistake getting married in the first place.
Skye Thomas recently wrote a great article on divorce and questions to ask before taking the leap into marriage.
http://www.skyethomas.com/too-many-divorces.html
"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us." -Marcel Proust
I agree with you to an extent. There are some situations where divorce is necssary. What the bible is saying is that divorce is wrong because it was never intended to be. Marriage was designed to be a loving relationship that lasted forever but that's not the way it is. No i don't believe it is wrong to divorce because of abuse or adultry but the problem is that peoples attitides toward marriage have changed. You said it yourself
"The only difference that legal marriage makes is that it makes it easier for hospital visits, wills, and other contracts to be carried out the way the couple wishes them to..."
You seem to forget that marriage is both a promise and a commitment. There is a reason that you say vows on the day of your wedding. Marriage has become a thing of convience that people do and think *oh well if it doesn't work out we can get divorce* I have a problem with that attitide. I'm not saying every marriage will work out and I agree that divorce should be legal but people who get married need to a)think hard about who they are marrying b) be sure they really know who they are (as much as anyone can. I'm not saying that things don't happen unexpectedly or that people don't change) c) not be so quick to give up on the marriage that they promised "till death do us part"
I think mean women are the reason men turn to other men seeking love and affection. Its true that men can love other men more deeply than women, but they do not need to destroy that relationship with sodomy and perverted sex. Its not even sex! Society has to draw a line on what is acceptable behavior and what is not by banning marriage or even partnerships that involve sodomy. Men rape men and abusive relationships are rampent among that community. Sorry if I sound closed minded about this subject, I was very open to it when i was young but I discovered that jelousy, hate, battery and the most disgusting behavior has emerged from that community, and i will never call it gay! If i could push them back into the closet, i'd lock it shut and throw away the key.
Are you a man or a woman? Did you know that women are naturally bi? We have more inclinations to finding other women attractive than men do in finding other men attractive. Do you have a problem with women loving each other and wanting to get married? Do you choose who you fall in love with?
Abusive relationships are also frequent in the heterosexual community. Look up any statistics on domestic violence that you want. It's not as infrequent as it should be.
I'll let percival or some of the other gay men and women on the site tackle the rest of your comments. They're probably far more eloquent than I am.
~C
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First of all, you are taking generalizations to a comical extent. So the gay community is overflowing with rapists,
? I'm not going to deny that some gay men have raped other men, but I'd like to see you deny that some straight men haven't raped women. If we use your thesis of Community with Rapists = Immoral = No Marriage, than there wouldn't be any marriage at all.
Secondly, you are using terms without bothering to clearly define them. What, exactly, do you percieve "perverted sex" to be? Do you intend sodomy to mean anal sex or sex between men? This is important because, like in the above example, the heterosexual community might also participate in these sexual acts, proving your conclusion hypocritical.
To expand on the above paragraph, what is your definition of "sex"? I'm guessing you mean penile-vaginal penetration, but that's very narrow. Many dictionaries give two definitions for "sexual intercourse":
1) Coitus between humans.
2) Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.
It's impossible to make you agree with a definition other than your own, of course, but realistically the stimulation of the genitals by any deliberate means is a sexual act, meaning that gay sex is as valid as straight.
" I think mean women are the reason men turn to other men seeking love and affection."
That's absurd. You think that straight guys haven't run into "mean" women? The gay population would be much larger if that were true, since most everyone is "mean" at one time or another. Unless you can provide both a better definition and a link to some genuine research I'm going to toss this out as ignorance.
Lastly - and watch out, because I'm finally bringing in the emotions - who do you think you are, saying you'd "push them back into the closet...lock it shut and throw away the key"? How, exactly, do other people's sexualities injure you so much that you would do something so violent? Being forced to keep something a secret is difficult; being forced to keep an important part of your life a secret is hell. Don't you dare say "Just suck it up," or something along those lines, because you have no right to dictate how others should live their lives unless they are deliberately harming you. Whatever you may think about them as a whole, they are not, as a community, out to get you.
T.k.
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"Vi Veri Vniversum Vivus Vici." ~ V.