I just turned 18 this weekend, and I feel the exact same mostly, not that I expected to feel very different. I graduated right after I turned 17, I have a job where I am the youngest person in my department and I have never really spent that much time with people my age or younger so if anything, I have felt like an adult for a while now. So what's the big deal?
Well as sad as it is, it's my love life, or lack there of. I now have the option of dating guys more than a year or so older than me and I'm torn as to where I should set my boundaries. Now, I have absolutely no intention of dating a guy who's twice my age, or even someone who's ten years older than me, but what about someone who is only say four years older or maybe just three? Is 21 too old for someone who is 18?
I don't really have any examples in my personal life to follow in this area either. My mom got married when she was 18 to someone seven years older than her and she now says the age difference was too much. My older brother has a child with his long term girlfried and he's only 20, she's 22. I don't know if it's really acceptable for someone who can drink to date someone who can't (legally) although I don't like alcohol all that much anyway.
The thing that even has me wondering is this- I met someone who I really like and who I think I could really get along with and maybe have a great relationship. He's one of those guys who you don't meet that often, who gets what you're talking about and isn't afraid to be honest with you and is respectful and fun and really good looking all in one. He just happens to be 21 and is going to be 22 in the fall. So am I just out of luck? Do I have to just say "no sorry you're too old, maybe in three years" and walk away from what could be a great relationship? If I didn't feel like this would be a good thing I wouldn't even worry about it, but it just feels like something I should pursue.
I'm not someone to always go with my instinct or my first gut feeling in most circumstances. This is not choosing which jeans to wear or which sandwhich to have or lunch. When's the cut off and did I miss it?
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I'm 8 months older than my boyfriend, so for 8 months, I will be able to drink and he legally (in the US, at least) won't. That doesn't make it unacceptable for me to date him once I turn 21... Just saying.
If you think you can have a great relationship with the guy, then go for it. The worst that can happen is things end badly. The best is that you fall in love and spend the rest of your lives together happily. Don't walk away from it simply because you think that it might not work out.
~C
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During college the age barrier tends to blur a little, at least for me.
I have guy friends at Kettering who are 23 and as old as 26 and they seem like they're my age. The only difference of course is their ability to get alcohol legally. but I don't think that should stop someone underage from having a relationship with someone who's 21.
In fact, I just got out of a relationship like that - the guy was 21 and I was 19 when we started dating. I didn't really notice any maturity difference, unless you count classes he's taken & I haven't and such.
The one thing that will suck is that sometimes, they are going to want to go to the bar, and more often then not, you will not be able to come, b.c of our stupid drinking laws in this country.
So basically, go for it! You'll know whether or not he's too old for you when you can figure it out. Don't waste something just b.c you're not sure...sometimes you're mean't not to be sure about something so you can grow.
~ KJ
"For it is not for honor, or glory, or riches that we fight, but for freedom only, which no good man surrenders but with his life." - Robert the Bruce