Nothing Matters to the Nihilistic Universe at its Birth, Existence and Destruction

People like to imagine that the Universe goes on forever and ever. Never ending, always changing. However, physics has proven that indeed the Universe is speeding up yet slowing everything down. Blackout says, " I believe is that the universe is a vast and wonderful place, full of meaning for those who are not so attached to their own ego that they cannot reconcile with the idea that they will not continue on "forever." I completely agree with him, that the universe is full of meaning. It just seems that religion would rather focus on invisibility giving meaning and science would rather focus on well science for meaning. Not saying it's wrong that either do that, but there is more meaning than those two intellectual or nonintellectual groups, whatever floats your boat on their distinctions.

My problem is this, whether we're reincarnated; go to heaven or hell; die and cease to exist; or whatever the hell else can happen; to the universe, nothing fucking matters. I could argue that it does because we're part of the universe thus it matters, but lets look at the universe as the entity that it is without its little parts. It exists to exist, nothing else, it basically is unfeeling and beautiful, utterly empty yet so full of existence. As humans we hope to pass on legacies to those who come after us because we feel it solidifies our place in history. However, when the univese ends...and it will end, then history is completely meaningless and pointless. No, I'm not a Nihilist but life or at least the universe it nihilistic. (I could swear there used to be no I between N and h but whatever.) Whether an invisible being exists, the universe is still nihilistic. It neither cares nor worries about the legacy of its inhabitants nor cares because it exists but isn't alive, no what I'm saying? No?

There is a difference between being alive and existing. Rocks exist but there is no proof that they are alive. However, we must ask, the matter that makes up rocks...is it alive or does it just exist? That's the problem; maybe existence and being alive are the same thing. Except for my Dead Body Theory. That is when we die, our bodies exist but are not alive but they are still here, decomposing. Things inside us like bacteria might be alive, but it's its own organism. Still that doesn't answer one question. Our hair or toenails or both continue growing for a bit after we die, so are we really dead or partially alive even though we're not alive in the sense that our heart is beating? And what makes us up, is it still alive? If it is, is it its own entity/being/organism or is it a part of us that still is alive? Or as I believe, it's a part of the universe and it is alive and existing and we're always existing but not always alive because we won't cease to exist until the universe does. You know, the whole circle of life thing. Live your life, it's the last and first one you'll ever get...or is it?

"Wings of mirror images, a full moon filled on duality.
As the mirror cracks, the sound of bones popping equals the crippling.
A drummer beats in the next room, out of time but in someone's mind.
Whispers of medication filter through the cigarette on the windowsill.
Pieces of mind are equivalent to no more peace of mind.
Back against the wall, the working downward is ecstasy.
And God seems so far away, not existing in an extreme.
With all the conflicting advice ripping at my philosophy.
A wonderful attachment coming to nothing is seems.
Guitars echo in the soundless chamber, as a fire burns in the backyard grill.
Maybe it's time the world asks, maybe it's time to give up."

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