It was a fantastically beautiful afternoon and I needed some things from the store. To do so, I would have to stop and get gas first. I figured the store wasn't that far away, 4 miles, so I would get some exercise by walking there, enjoy the weather and try to give our environment a bit of a break.
The walk was not enjoyable however. After the first five cars honking at me and obscene cat-calls directed towards me, I decided to view my walk as a social experiment. I took note of who it was that was honking or calling to me. There didn't seem to be a certain demographic. All ages were involved, many different ethnicities and those of various social and economic standing (of course these things were based on what I could observe in a moments time)
I then made an attempt at dissecting the reasons for doing these things. Was the driver aware that he was not the first person to honk at me? To whistle? To comment on my posterior? Did the driver view these things as compliments? Because for me, they were startling. To be walking along wrapped up in my thoughts and then to have someone rush by honking and shouting at me. But then, was this the point? Only to startle me with the hopes of causing me to loose my balance? To be scared? Some people even slowed and tried to get me to go home with them.
Any time that I feel offended at an action, I have to look to myself to see what I do when the situation is reversed. If I saw a young man walking down the road, would I honk? I can honestly answer no, that I have not done that nor will I do that. Being that person walking, you are not given a chance to respond, you are simply the target for someone's actions and nothing more. It makes me feel less than human to be treated in, what to me, is a demeaning way.
Once I was home, I felt relieved and sadly I do not wish to repeat this walk again. I suppose this is my open plea, asking you to be mindful of these split second interactions we have with each other.
I think of how far we have come in terms of treating each other with respect and equality and the strides are great. However, walking those eight miles, I was reminded of how much farther we must go. I was walking on a timeline of our progress, hoping we will not regress.
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What were you wearing when this happened. It is rude to treat people like that- but maybe what you were wearing had something to do with it. Also where you live.
If I ever yell at anoyone it is like on a Friday night, I am with my friends, and it is a joke- but I also live in a college town and its pretty common on the weekends.
But good post. I think it was well written and interesting.
Francesca Chambers
yeah, you would think maybe what i was wearing had something to do with it. but...i'm thinking not...i was wearing capris and a plain grey t-shirt.
Delicately put, you fit the "honking" demographic. You're an attractive (presumably) 20-something white female walking solo. An interesting social experiment would be to repeat the walk in the same conditions accompanied by a male, accompanied by another female, accompanied by person(s) of a different age, weight, hair color, race, social class, etc or wearing athletic clothing.
Debatechick also has a point: location. You will probably have much different results in Chicago (busy city/college town) than in Mifflin County, Nebraska (conservative Amish area). I'm not justifying the behavior of your passer-bye-ers, however, most of them probably just assume you'll take it as sort of a drive-by flirting.
Also, whether or not you meant to, you probably projected a certain image. A 20-something woman walking solo for reasons other than fitness has sort of a bohemian/natural vibe to it (they assume you're not walking for fitness - you're not wearing sports attire). The bohemian culture is known for it's free-living friendly countenance. They probably didn't suspect you'd be offended.
I'm sorry, but I find something rather wrong in the fact that we're asking her what she was wearing or saying she maybe projected a certain image and therefore that must be why she was honked at.
I have had more than my fair share of honking, lewd commentary and other sorts of disgusting behavior from idiotic men with nothing better to do with their time than honk at those of us with more important things to do. It had nothing to do with what I was wearing or some image I projected. When my sister and I were 12 and 13, respectively, we walked from my dad's house to the mall. Some perverts drive by and scream "hey look!" We do. The passenger has his penis hanging out the window, flapping in the wind. I've been walking with children and had men shout and ask if I wanted to screw. It is absolutely unacceptable and moronic.
It is ridiculous for men to think we appreciate being honked at, being granted some lewd commentary or some disgusting display or idiocy when walking down the street, minding our own business. Furthermore, it is ridiculous to assume that she somehow brought it upon herself.
She should be free to walk down the street in her capris and t-shirt without feeling like she's on parade for some jackass to honk and yell at because that jackass can't grow up and get a life.
I'll step off my ranting soap box now.
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" George Elliot
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle
I would agree with what you are saying, but some women wear clothing that they do not realize is either inappropriate or conducive to that treatment. I know a lot of my friends who complain about being hollered at or honked at and do not understand why until I tell them to look in the mirror.
Francesca Chambers
I think some guys are just idiots. I mean there have been time I was walking home from work, in a lose fitting t-shirt and jeans, with my work shoes on and I'd still get honked at, etc. And I'd go wtf?
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"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."~MPATHG
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