Straight Parents with Gay Children

I was perusing my co-worker's latest issue of Details magazine while bored at work on Friday and came across a very interesting article entitled, "Would You Really Be Okay with a Gay Kid?" The full article can be found here, but, of course, I am going to break it down for you.

The article mainly deals with the dynamic between fathers and their gay sons, even quoting two exceedingly liberal, homo-friendly fathers who have young sons that already exhibit "signs" of gayness (whatever those may be). Interestingly enough, the article "outs" these dads as being less-than-pleased about their effeminate sons and their behavior. Citing a "hyperawareness of gay culture," it seems as though those with closest ties to the LGBT community have the biggest problems with their children being gay because they are familiar with the issues that gays and lesbians face throughout their life.

While, in theory, I can understand that logic, I cannot wholeheartedly get behind it. To me, anyone that is that ingrained in gay culture would also know that gay people are as normal as straight people (shocking, I know), and that the large majority of gays feel as though their sexual orientation makes them stronger, prouder and more self-aware. Yes, the road is not always smooth for LGBT folk, depending on their religion, geographic location or profession, but one's coming out process is not necessarily also their death sentence. Wouldn't these dads understand that?

On the flip side, the article hints at the idea that religious and conservative parents who have little exposure (or acceptance?) towards gay people are often the easiest parents to come out to "because of [their] value of family."

I'm calling bullshit. Not to say that religious or conservative parents cannot be accepting (because they most certainly can and do), but it has nothing to do with value of family. I think James Dobson alone proves that. And I also think there is also something to be said for the difference between parents tolerating their gay children and accepting their gay children. I know plenty of people who's parents still love them, still support them, and still generally treat them the same that they always did, but never really acknowledge the fact that their child is gay. The friends in question never feel comfortable talking about their significant others to their parents or doing something as simple as telling them they're going to a Pride Festival. Sometimes, I think this can be just as damaging as outright rejection.

Bottom line? Though an interesting read (and theory), I think this article extrapolates way too much from the confessions of just two fathers.

For more information on relationships between parents and gay kids, read Love, Ellen by Betty Degeneres (Ellen's momma) or check out sites like PFLAG.