ok so i have nothing against age difference really.....well there are exceptions......and i'm probably going to come off sounding like a hypocrite to most of you, because my boyfriend is two years _younger_ than me.....
okay so what do i have a problem with then? the people who are my age (18) dating people who are my parents' age (40-ish). that's like dating your parents! GROSS!
even worse are the ones that date people as old as their grandparents just so they can get their money once they die! that's totally cold-hearted and disgusting. imagine the damage you're doing to the older person if they actually care for you, yet you just care about them dying. and what if they suddenly make a recovery and aren't going to die anymore like you thought, but live for several more years? then what? you're stuck pretending you love them, or you get a divorce and hurt the poor old person. Now, if you actually care about _them_ and not their money, that's a different story.
also, if you're both older, but there's an age difference, that's fine. you're adults (by far moreso than kids my age) . you know what you want, and you're mature enough to handle that difference at your age. example? my grandma and step-grandpa. they've been married for 18 years as of monday and are 15 years apart......and it's the second marriage for both of them.....
and i have a theory....i think dating younger people runs in my family......grandma and grandpa were several years apart (my grandpa died in february this year), grandma and step-grandpa (on my dad's side) are 15 years apart, my aunts and uncles (those that are married) are with people younger than them.....if only by a few months like my parents (my mom is two months older than my dad). My brother is "engaged" to a girl 3 years younger than him.....my sister was dating someone a couple of months younger than her, and as i said in the first bit, my boyfriend is two years younger than me.....
interesting how that happened too......i had a bad break up about two or three months before and didn't want to date anyone and at the time was planning on going out-of-state for college......i liked this younger guy, but didn't want to get into a relationship when i was going to be leaving at the end of the school year. We were talking online one night and he suddenly says to me something like "it's too bad you don't want to date, cuz you're definitely hot". it caught me off gaurd since he had never made it known that he had feelings for me. we talked more and he eventually convinced me that i should give him a try.....and we've been together ever since! lol and i'm only going to be about an hour away from where he lives, instead of halfway across the country....
okay so i got totally off subject there....sorry......but i think i've made my point.....someone my age dating someone as old as my parents is WRONG! that's all have on that subject, but i could definitely get into the whole gold-diggers and ambulance chasers! maybe in my next one......
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The dating different ages is for one common goal, to feel younger. My boyfriends mother is 42 and just broke up with a 25 year old who is now living with her 20 year old son! Puh-leze! These people need to start looking reality in the eye!
-Kristen
I think sometimes you date up in age because you feel you're missing something in your life. You feel that person can understand this deep intellect you feel you have or you're looking for some sense of security but a lot of times these relationships don't last because....the younger person doesn't know themselves yet and this is important.
Good blog.
http://www.progressiveu.org/113708-crisis-continues
I dont know how you can honestly say something like that until you experience it yourself. I am in college and my boyfriend is 16 years older then me. We have been dating for 2 years now, I had plenty boyfriends before him and not one treated me with more respect or cared more about me then him. You have it in your family, how could you possibly insult it? I admit it, when we started dating, I didnt know if it would work out with the age difference, but if you find someone who treats you with respect, you can have a great time with and you get along what does it matter? Age is only a number, if its true love it should have no affect on the relationship. Although he is older then me, he is young at heart, is very active, works out 7 days a week and does just about every adventurous activity there is out there. He is a great person and we get along so well. It is very offensive for you to come out and insult this because you cant help who you fall in love with and that is you insulting my character. You honestly cannot make judgements unless you have experienced it yourself. Say you had a relationship with an older person and they ended up really hurting you and harming your life, I could see that. But there are people out there who are meant for eachother, regardless of the age.
Yeah, there are special cases in everything. Like, not all black people are gangstas, not all asians do math, not all white people have all the power, not all jews have money and freakin not all germans are nazis damnit (I swear if someone equates germans to nazis I will go postal). Way to go, you are one of those special cases. Realize this, and move on.
Okay, but most people in your case fall in love with an older person because the older partner is more understanding and knowledgeable than people of the younger partner's age. The older person falls in love with the younger person because most often times the older person wants someone slighty more active than people of their age or even someone that needs a more knowledgeable person. I'm not saying this is all cases, so chizizzle.
to the guest who commented:
hey, i'm not going to freak on you for the last part. it totally made sense....and as to your comment about the germans=nazis theory, i'm guessing you must be of german descent also? anyway thanks for the comment!
There are allot of bad reasons to do this.
But sometimes its just a normal dating situation. For some reason you were ahanging around the same place as someone not your own age. Its by no means wrong or disgusting for a relationship to develop.
Its just a cultural thing.
We have laws against dating the extreemly young for their protection.
But to an extent even that goes to far.
Why does it disgust you so.
Depending upon where you are in your life, two years is a large gap as well. And not that I doubt the sincerity of your relationship with your boyfriend, but calling someone hot doesn't indicate feelings but rather physical attraction. I've always been skeptical of couples at different stages in their lives, bridging school or career gaps, just because there's so much growing up you do between the ages of 15 and 25.
Nitpicking aside, I think that your case, your family's history, and some of the other stories in the comments here disprove your point. Relationships can be successful and meaningful at any age and between any ages. Carl mentioned that we have laws in place to protect the young, but in most southern states, there are exceptions for 16 or 17 year olds with 20 or 21 year old significant others. The age breaks are acknowledged, but they aren't looked at as stigmas.
We should be more concerned with those that chose to date younger. What void in a person's life makes him or her feel inclined to look at much younger people as potential romantic interests? There are degree of maturity, experience, and knowledge that are linked to compatability that a younger person might think he or she grasps but an older person has learned from.
You said your boyfriend is two years younger than you. That isnt a big difference so I dont see why thats a big deal.
And I agree, an 18 year old dating a 40 year old is wrong.
I think so too. 18 and 40 is too big of a gap. Age is not a number. With age comes a level of maturity. If age is a number, than why can't an 8 year old marry a 30 year old? What if it is love? I guess after you are 18 you can do what you want, but not before that age. I would never marry someone that is so old. Because each person is in a different step in life. We are starting out, they are almost finishing. That in itself looks like a huge gap.
Yeah that's kinda grosses me out. My step brother use to baby-sit for this lady when he was younger. Well when he was in his 20's and she was probably almost 50 they started going out. Her daughter was in my class! It was strange and gross. They ended up going on some tv show about age differences. They had a baby together, well tried but she was a big pot head and alcoholic so the baby died. They kinda figured things wouldn't work after that, so they broke up.
Are people who are adults (18+) allowed to date
minors(< 18)...legally? I think that is weirder then dating someone 20-30 yrs older then you, when your already over 18. If younger the 18 then they have a word for the adult in that party.
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo