Everywhere I go (whether it's school, work, or social events) I seem to run into men and women (or boys and girls) who are complaining about their significant other who they claim to love (and probably do love). I cannot really seem to comprehend how one can be in a truly loving relationship and yet still have SO MANY things to complain about.
I am going to present my current situation in order to show my point of view. I have been with my boyfriend for six months and have been best friends for about three years total. We know our flaws, we have a shared experience in what we see as important in life, we are seemingly the perfect couple. I am not saying that either of us are perfect individually, but our relationship does not suffer. We have gone through a number of hardships (one being that I am an hour and a half away from him during the school months), but over all the experience has been great. I can admit that i have NEVER complained about him and probably never will.
The reason why I think that our relationship is so great is because our world view is pretty similar, and we both want the same things for the future. We don't get stuck on little things and we plan on growing together as a couple in all possible ways: mentally, physically, spiritually. I think that a lot of relationships fail because one person grows and the other doesn't, and I do think that it's important for couples to sit down and talk about what they want in a relationship and in life. I don't see a point in dating just for fun (unless your end goal is to not be married at all), and I don't see how one can be unhappy in a relationship if they truly know what they want from a relationship and the partner shares that want.
It's quite sad really, that so many people complain about their relationships. If you're that unhappy, then why stay in it. (I'm not talking about people who are abused in relationships, because I understand that there's a different type of hold there). For someone to say that they love someone and then complain about their significant other all the time: I find that pathetic. Either they are lying to make themselves fit in with the rest of the people complaining, or they are unhappy and then they should get out or try to make it work so that they are happy.
That is all.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/arhipgeo86
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Well, I wouldn't say I complain about my boyfriend all the time, but I certainly do sometimes. It has a lot to do with the fact that I'm in a long-distance relationship, and my boyfriend is going through some rough times. As a result, we're both really stressed, and don't have any tangible way to relieve that stress. So then when we do little things that bother the other person (I ask questions, he doesn't explain things, etc), I just get to the point where I need to vent.
~C
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I would say that it's [probably not the healthiest to do the little things that annoy each other (because those little things are probably not good to begin with (whether in a relationship or not)). I don't know if you have a web cam, but I find that to be really helpful when you live far apart from each other. Also maybe taking half an hour to an hour (or more if you would like) at night (or whenever you both are available) and just having an online date. :) Take the little steps to make the relationship work or more happy feeling. But both people need to have the same commitment or else one is going to be more upset throughout it. :)
Just some ideas.
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http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/arhipgeo86
But they're only annoying when we're in a bad mood in the first place. When we're in a good mood, those little things are cute.
I talk to him online for about 5 hours a night, hardly at all on Fridays, though. And as the days get longer, less on Saturdays as well. I've survived 3 1/2 years of a long distance relationship. I know how to do it.
But there's not a whole lot you can do when your SO's sister dies, followed shortly by one of his/her closest cousins, only to find out his/her mom has terminal breast cancer and has less than a year to live.
~C
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Point taken. I can understand how life stresses (*big ones for that) can make a relationship harder to deal with. But it should also be a good stress reliever as well. The one thing that you (or him) can come to and just be happy about. That is a long relationship. :) Congrats on making it happen for so long :) (longer than many marriages). Keep up the good work. :) You're obviously doing SOMETHING right..perhaps everything. :) And i wasn't attacking. :) Just suggesting.
I know you weren't attacking, and I probably came off a lot more defensive than I meant... I apologize.
~C
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wait until you live with your mate before you qualify how "good" the relationship is.
once you move in, you have to deal with the person on a whole other level. you sort of lose some of your personal space. being that you share a home.
most of the time i hear friends complaining about relationships, it deals with living arrangments.
I realize that someone being in your personal space isn't the greatest all the time, but I was mostly referring to the constant complainers, and I'm sorry if you're constantly complaining about your relationship (whether you live with each other or not) then something has to change. :) There are a few people that I know (not many though) that don't complain about their significant others (even if they do live with each other) and to me it seems that the reason for that is that they talk about their problems with each other, resolve their issues in a rational way (kudos to them both for not getting their emotions get in their way), and then are just happy. I have to admit that I also think that anger (or lack thereof) has to do with the way happy couples treat each other. I have worked really hard not to be an angry person or not to get uber upset when something doesn't go my way,, or something is wrong,(and so has my boyfriend) and that has worked wonders for our relationship. We are both pretty patient and very understanding of each other, and that has really worked in our favor..It's frustrating living apart from each other, and little things could bug us, but we don't let them. :) We know the circumstances, and how to deal with them and we realize that an even better future is ahead of us, and so we don't let the little things bother us (and don't let them build up either).
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/arhipgeo86
The absolute worst is when they complain about their significant others, CHEAT on their significant others multiple times with multiple partners, and then stay with their boyfriend/girlfriend because they are afraid to be alone.
I can name several of my friends who do this.
And one of them says she doesn't want to leave him because she "really loves him."
PLEASE!
Yeah, I agree. Cheating and then still staying with the "significant other" is pretty lame. That person is obviously not THAT significant if a he/she decides to cheat on him/her, and the person staying is not really stupid, but they probably grew dependent on the relationship and don't know how to deal (well maybe they do...) outside of that relationship by themselves. But yes...cheating sucks
(for everyone really , even the cheater him/herself).