I will admit I am not even remotely conservative in anything I do. I have no qualms talking about sex. And I’ll be damned if I’m shushed for having an intelligent discussion about drugs. I don’t shy away from racy topics. I’ve never really felt the need to limit myself to what is acceptable by polite society.
For example, I plan on getting three large tattoos and piercing my tongue. Don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with my progressive stance on anything political. These things are just a few things that tip off parental units that maybe I’m a red-flag kind of teen.
My friend Eva is from a conservative, middle-class Republican family. I’ve spent a lot of time with her, viewing this life-style. And they’ve viewed me and seen me as a threat to their normal, upscale-wannabe dream life.
Upon meeting Mr. and Mrs. Delusional, Eva felt the need to exclaim: “But don’t talk politics! She’s anti-Bush.” One word: awkward!
They looked at me and nodded uncertainly, suddenly taking the time to read the anti-war protest pins that adorned my book bag.
Her father’s face turned an incredible hue of red as he took in a ‘No more Bush-it’ pin. Her mother, embarrassed no doubt, stared at the Sex Pistols patch sewn into the bag, I could immediately see her mind trying to decide if it really is a band or something promoting sex.
“It’s a band.” I offered, trying to be nice.
“I know.” She snapped. “I know that.”
Fast-forward three years: they’ve become a little more tolerant of me now that I’ve spent so much time around them. Tolerant enough to allow Eva to come with me and a group of friends to a Marilyn Manson concert, though I still can’t figure out how they decided that was okay.
A few days ago they learned of my tattoo plans. This is where the attack comes in. Not a vicious ‘try and rip her apart’ attack. A subtle ‘lets try and change her’ attack.
Remembering her mother’s exclamation that a tongue piercing was permanent (duh!), I shouldn’t have been surprised. Nor should I have told Eva, who cannot keep a secret anymore then she can sing in tune.
They were dumbfounded by my graphic vision of ink placed permanently on my body. They once again reminded me that tattoos are forever (they obviously haven’t heard of laser removal).
“The implications of getting a tattoo will follow you around for the rest of your life.” Her father said.
“Eva’s sister’s friend had her daughter’s name tattooed on her arm and she got fired.” Her mother piped in.
I literally had to restrain remarks from flying out: First if all, I’m not your daughter. What I do shouldn’t concern you. Secondly, I plan on working as a music journalist. Let’s think about how accepted tattoos are in the world of rock music…well?
Of course I kept my mouth shut.
“And you might not be able to get large tattoos until you’re twenty-one.” She added confidently.
Once again I was seething inside: “Bold-faced lie! Where did you get that from?”
“I heard it was the law now.” She replied. Opps. I’d actually spoken those thoughts.
At this point I was desperate to change the subject. So, naturally, I did the only thing I could think of. I brought up immigration policies.
I often go through this ritual with Eva’s parents. One would think I’d just avoid them. No. That’s almost impossible.
They wiggle their way in and push their ‘this is right’ opinions on me.
I think they think they can save my eternal soul. It certainly feels that way when I politely stop to say hello.
It’s a relentless attack as they try to unreasonably reason their conservative ideas into my head.
I have a list of things they try to convince of on a regular basis:
-no tattoos (they’re forever!)
-no absurd piercings (the ears are fine)
-no heavy metal (it’ll make you go deaf)
-no weird hair color (you’ll never get a job)
-no sex before marriage! (speaking of…)
-go to church with us.
-you should really listen to Marilyn Manson’s lyrics (aren’t you Christian? No? I thought so)
-you should really read the Bible (Oh, you do? Well why aren’t you Christian?)
-young people should be more involved (no we don’t mean anti-war rallies and listening to NPR)
-dress more conservatively (turtlenecks are your friends. Fishnets are your enemy)
And this doesn’t even go near the dreaded realm of politics (which makes me want to yank out my hair)
It’s gotten a little humorous, actually. They really believe they can change me into an ideal ‘good girl.’
All I can think of when they talk is an epic grade-B horror, black and white horror film I’d call Attack of the Middle-Class Conservatives: starring Mr. and Mrs. Delusional!
is that tongue piercings are a stupid idea.
I have friends who did it, and they started slurring their words. It's not a pronounced slur, mind you, but it is noticeable. The stud they put in your tongue isn't heavy in the least, but it does change the dynamics of the way you speak. Why the hell do that to yourself?
Also, you probably will whack yourself in the head when you're retired once you realize you can't enjoy foods anymore with that huge callous in the middle of your tongue.
I can't believe I sound so old.
However, it is unlikely to cause any long term damage to your tongue, as in a callous or major scar. My partner had a tongue stud for years, and when she took it out, her tongue healed over nicely, with no loss of taste, no callous, no lumps, nothing.
The main problem with tongue studs is dental damage, which might not seem like a big deal while one is on their parent's dental plan, but later on in adulthood, when insurance actually becomes a major concern and dental coverage is harder to come by, dental work can put you in serious financial trouble. And the problems caused by the tongue stud (worn enamel, hairline fissures) may not show up until you are in this position. My partner cracked a tooth on hers and decided it was too big a financial risk. Not to mention the pain...
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Lip piercings pwn tongue piercings in so many ways. Get a lip piercing.
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Please see my recent blog post, "Genocide and Student Activism": http://www.progressiveu.org/041447-genocide-and-student-activism
The middle class is a nice lifestyle. The alternative is fun while you are young but the long term prospects are often kind of grim. I suppose some people who go down that path do alright but a large part of society does actively discriminate against people who tattoo and pierce their bodies. Whether you agree or not, the "unmarked" view it as a matter of self-respect. From their point of view, if you don't respect yourself why would you respect their business and if you don't respect their business why should they give you a good job? These middleclass conservatives were trying to do you a favor.
But you certainly should follow your own council. The world needs all kinds. Some people like you will cut a wide swathe of success. And others will end up as dishwashers. And success is defined by the person living it. For some people it is pretty modest and it is more a matter of living on their own terms rather than material accomplishment.
im sorry you ran into these people but don’t just think political sectionalism has created a complete barrier of cultures. it seems you’ve fallen into the misconception that all conservatives are like the mentioned family. know there are smart Marilyn Manson fans (to throw in a some humor). a persons tolerance level does not at all have to do with which side of the political spectrum they most agree with. and i can promise you it does not affect their taste in music. peircings, tattoos, and extreme hairstyles are not symbols of a political standing rather of a culture. otherwise Hillary instead of talking black to her sisters in the south would probably have made an appearance at an underground concert wearing black and white face paint. sex, drugs and music, these are a part of culture found on both sides of the political spectrum (otherwise there wouldn’t be so many scandals on the news). political sectionalism has nothing to do with these. hey this conservative chick could equally freak out those uptight parents you mentioned, and if not i know a bunch of conservative who totaly could. the peircings tatoos and music only mean your a teenager and saying you have them because your a liberal makes me beleive your a bandwagon jumper. im not writing this as an argument or attack rather as a clarification. (lets thrown in some alliteration) tattoos whoot! you can be covered head to toe under a business suit.
I understand what you're saying. I'm also saying that these particular people (and I didn't mean to generalize) are this way. And, for the record, I don't have a tattoo yet. I am not going to say "hey I'm liberal because I have tattoos." In no way what so ever do I believe being liberal and having tattoos are the same thing.
Also, I think that point that I say "conservative, middle-class Republican family" shows that I was trying to separate politics from the definition of conservative as being traditional I feel much of what I was saying wasn't about politics as about how this overly conservative family feels they have a right to butt into my life and try to tell me what is better for me in their views. And the only reason I have a problem with these particular conservative people is because they feel they have to tame down my liberal political views and opinions on things such a body art and piercings.
Basically, I'm sorry you felt I was a generalizing bandwagoner of a teenager. This couldn't be further from the truth.
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'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland