Now that my girl is asleep, I can post....
A couple days ago, some friends invited my family to a nearby park. We had a great time sharing each others' company, riding horses and roasting veggies and hotdogs. Towards the end, we headed over to the obstacle course with one of those huge nets over a bar at the top and over a lake. Everyone was having fun running up one side and down the other until Frank lost a shoe through one of the openings in the net and it fell in the lake.
For some reason, I immediately went into hero mode and began searching for something to fish it out. Some others had found a long bamboo shoot and passed it down to me from up on the net to where I was a skinny bridge in the middle of the lake. I climbed over the railing and tried to scoot the shoe towards me so that I could grab it. My friends started pulling me back from reaching down to get it. I couldn't reach the shoe on the water's surface. Someone started pushing the shoe towards the bank of the lake and we all realized simultaneously that we could just maneuver it towards the bank and nab it. Then, Frank had a wet nasty shoe and a clean foot he was trying desperately to keep clean. I had seen people in Shanghai put bags over their feet and then put on their shoes when wet weather pours in, so I suggested that we find a bag to solve the wet shoe issue. I went to get a bag, but others had already found one. All was well again.
After a day passed, I was thinking about my reaction to the situation and thought that maybe I had tried to hard to take control of the situation. I'm not a control freak nor do I feel that I can help everyone all the time, but I do tend to unnecessarily stick my nose in too far at times. I didn't really work together with my friends. I was rather domineering as well. I believe that sometimes we need to step back and let others be the heroes. I don't always need to be the one to save the day.
When I go deeper, these feelings of needing to be the one to save others are rooted in my selfish pride. I want to be in the limelight as the one who has what it takes to get the job done. This is not always possible, so I'm working on checking my pride at the door and practicing more humility. Pride and the desire for recognition only get in the way of genuine kindness and love shown to others. One needs humility to be able to give all they have to others and not expect an immediate reward. I don't want to waste my energy on my pride anymore. We'll see how it goes. Even Superwoman flubbed up sometimes right?
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Your title reminds me of an Ani DiFranco song. And your post reminds me of trying to fish balls out of the creek at work. (My charges live up the hill from Minnehaha Creek, which is almost a river). The cheer that goes up when I rescue a soccer ball before it hits the rapids is edifying!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
My husband even likes her songs. In high school she was practically all I listened to and I just about flipped out when I saw her in concert in my hometown. Which song is it that you were thinking of?
Fish balls...yuck. I had some the other day. When you wrote "fish balls out of the creek," I could only think of actually fishy flavored balls. :)
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina
"I used to be a superhero, no one could touch me, not even myself, you are like a phonebooth I somehow stumbled into, now look at me, I am just like everybody else."
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I know what you mean. Sometimes I have battles with my crazy determination to save the world and my feelings of always wanting to be a hero.
I guess sometimes the problem with people like us is we sometimes forget to look after ourselves, too.
I was going to weave that in, but it wasn't quite right. If you try to play the hero too much, you end up burning out because you've neglected to take care of your own needs. The other sad thing is that when you're busy saving the World, you neglect your loved ones around you too.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina