Whoever said that you can aviod "BAY MAMA DRAMA" while dating a man with kids, was a LIAR! Ok, heres the story....I've been dating this man for 7 months, when we met his babys mother was 2 months pregnant. I had never dated a man with a child before, bu t i thought that i'd give it a chance ( i just wanted to try it), well we kicked it a lil' while, not really getting serious, because thats not really what i wanted. Everything was cool, until we started dating "ofically"! Then thats when the BULLSHIT started with his baby mama, the calling in the middle of the night, about issues not pertaining to the baby, calls to my cell phone started, threats to keep the baby away. The list goes on, Now I am a 21 year old college junior, I work full time at a energy company, i have weekly drink nights with my buds, I mean for the most part i have a pretty stressfree life, I'm very free sprited. This is getting the worst of me, It all strted before the baby was born, but now the baby is here, he came 5 days ago, and already she has yanked the baby away from him , just 2 hours after being discharged from the hospital. ain' that a B****.....I really dont know what to do, because i do love this man, but i puzzled?
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First of all you have to know that people are crazy and they need to get over what is bothering them before they can move on. Second this man needs to go to court to get either custody or visitation set up to see that child. He will also have to pay child support but he should be doing this already. She can not keep him from seeing the child if there is a court order saying that he has visitation rights. What many women do not understand is that just because the parents no longer have a relationship with each other they are still bound through the child. All children should have both parents in their lives as long as there is no abuse from one of the parents. The adults are going to have to get along for the sake of the child. I suggest that all three of you sit down and work it out where all three of you are happy. No drama and a healthy enviornment for that child is what is best for all involved.
Ok, I've tried to be polite to her, Ive never met her but, i take up for her alot, for example, my bday was oct 2 and the baby was born on the 1st so her drove to my party and spent the night with me, he bout me a ring for my bday and left the reciept in his car when he picked them up from the hospital and she saw it and went off, and stuff, and he told me that he lied to her and told her it was his cousins reciept, if he is done with her then why would he have to lie? another example, the bm and bay went to his house after they were discharged from the hospital and he took all my pics down before she came, this is rediculous...what is my part. what do i do?
Well, they obviously produced the baby together. Perhaps she lack a special someone to always be there for her. I'm not really sure what the real situation is. I don't even know the history between your boyfriend and his ex. They're becoming parents now. If you're serious about him, you have to know that you might become the baby's step mother. Your boyfriend is still afraid of his ex for some reason. Having a baby is a stressful thing. Imagine yourself in her shoes, maybe you'll understand her more. Worse case scenario is to just break up with him so you won't have to get involved in this....
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My BF, had a real screwed up set of parents, and so did she, and i believe that thats what brought them so close together, i mean, they used to stay together and everything, and there only 19 yo & 21 yo, so they shared a common struggle that Ive never know anything about, i mean i came from the all american family, minus the picket fence. So, I know that they have/had a bond that i could never understand, and thats fine, but Does that mean if he wants to move on and better himself, he has to be punished? Hu? NO it doesn't, like today she is MIA, no one can locate her or the baby, she just decided to take the 5 day old baby, across the city, cause shes mad at him, this is rediulous!! she needs to grow up, wether he with me or not, he doesnt want her anymore... I know that the easy thing to do would be to just leave him, but i know that he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me.