Before I continue with my blog, here is some info before I get to the real story ;)
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So, after attending an AMAZING youth conference, with the theme of MOVE... I felt called to go out of state to start a drama team promoting abstinence. (Check out our site here: http://www.ibreakdown.com)
I belong to a "BREAKDOWN" (the name for this ministry) here in Indiana, and I am on the acting side. (There is a hip-hop dancing side to it as well)
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And now to the point of this blog:
So, here I am. I know where I need to go. Texas.
Now, when one is called by God to do something, one has to listen carefully, because God speaks in a quiet yet direct voice. It takes faith to really pay attention. ;)
So, during the conference I went to, I felt pulled to start a BreakDown team...and oviously since there is already one here in Indiana, I knew it would have to be out of state... I was thinking like, TN.
But, God has different plans.
About 6-7 months ago, my friend Tabitha, had to leave our BreakDown team, as she was getting married, and moving to start her new life. Well, I was really really sad about this... I love Tabitha to pieces, but I knew she was excited about leaving, and so, the day she left, I expressed my happiness for her, and told her goodbye. Well right before she left, as I was standing there, talking to her, God just quietly said to me "You'll do this again... You'll work with Tabitha, in BreakDown again..."
To my mind, I was thinking, "oh well, she'll come back!". Nope. And, honestly, I didnt think about it much after that. She was gone, so, i just didnt think about it.
After she had got married in TN, she was going to be heading to Texas, to start a BreakDown, and go back to school.
Well during this conference, I wrote a letter to God, asking Him what I needed to do, and where I needed to go. He just brought that memory up in my mind. And said "TEXAS".
I think my eyes got as big around as my face. I was sitting there, during a session, and WHAM... TEXAS? WHAT?!?!
Afterwords, I was SO EXCITED. And I was ready to take on the challenge. I mean, it's two years away. I'll be going there for college, so its alright, I have time to prepare.
But, then I got home.
Life settled in again. And, I was faced with a choice. Some people call it a "Jesus high"... some people say its just being "filled again"... you know that amazing feeling after a christian conference, where you're just PUMPED about God? Well, all too many people let it slip away. I have on many, many occasions. This time... I wont.
Ever since I got back (its been 2 weeks)... I keep thinking about what I wanted to do. I wanted to be an actress. Now I'll be directing drama. I wanted to be a singer... now, I'll be too busy. I wanted to get into photography...again, I won't have time. I wanted to go to school here, live at home for the first year, keep it easy, then fall madly in love and get married, have kids, stay with the BreakDown in Indiana, as long as I could, and then grow old and die. seem good right? God doesn't think so.
And, He keeps reminding me of all the things I wanted... and still do want... And He keeps asing, "are you whilling to let me guide you, instead of you taking this all on your own?" And, I keep saying yes. Even though its hard. Cause, oh boy it is.
The logistics of moving to Texas, with barely any money, no family there, and no money to visit the college, i mean, it looks pretty bad. My family can't offer me any support. All they can do is be there for me when I call, e-mail, or need prayer. But thats it.
It's so scary. So SO scary. I'm looking at the average price for the school I want to go to... 20,000. That includes the housing costs. Where will I get that?!?! I'll have to find a job through the internet, before I get there. Things are going to be ROUGH. But, God always reminds me... that He told His disciples to just come with Him... taking nothing. And they were cared for. So, He'll care for me.
He brought this verse to my attention, while I was at the conference...
Acts 9:6 "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."
I think that basically says it all.
