A few days ago I confronted my mom about trust isuues I have with her. (Read about it: http://www.progressiveu.org/134156-i-dont-trust-you-anymore) She turned this situation around and began to say that she doesn't trust me.
I guess she got the idea from my dad on Memorial Day. We were driving down to my aunt's house for a BBQ and my dad turned and asked me, "Why do you have cigarette butts in your car's ash tray? Who was smoking?" I looked at him confused as anything and told him that I didn't know.
He began to question me again, "Tell me the truth. Who was smoking?"
I became very frustrated and said, "I don't smoke. My friends don't smoke. I have never opened up the ash tray. I don't know where they came from."
For some reason, he didn't believe me and went, "I hope you're telling me the truth."
I became angry and started screaming about how he should trust me. He has no reason not to. After my outrage, my mom concurred with my dad saying, "I hope you're telling the truth."
Now, if you read my other blog about being a good girl (http://www.progressiveu.org/234554-good-girl-what-supposed-mean), I am the complete defination of one. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, and have sex. I have never given my parents a reason not to trust me completely and here they were acusing me for something I didn't do.
Let me tell you were the cigeratte butts came from: The guy I bought the car from.
So, now only a few days later, I came home from work and wanted to go out to my friend's house to watch a movie. I told my mom I was going to shower and then head out. My mom became angry with me and started saying, "Why do you always have to go to their house? Why don't you have them come here?"
I replied, "I don't know. I guess it gives me a chance to go out of the house." She wouldn't accept that reason.
"What do you do over there that you don't do here?"
"What do you mean?", I asked.
"You have to be doing something if you always want or need to go over there."
I told her I wasn't going to listen to this crazy talk and that I was going to shower. I grabbed my towel and shut the bathroom door. My mom began pounding on it telling me to come out and talk to her. Of course I did. She began yelling at me repeating herself after I kept saying that I just like to go out with my friends. I closed the door, showered as quickly as possible, got dressed, and ran out of the house.
What did I do at my friend's house: I watched a movie.
My mom has been repeating to me everytime she sees me that she'll "find out what I'm doing and won't stop" until she figures it out.
I Don't Trust You Anymore:Part 2
By pkubik08 - Posted on May 29th, 2008
Tagged: attitude
• growing up
• mother-daughter relationships
• parents
• trust
• Broad prosperity
• Personal freedom
That's a lot of pressure. I'm glad you know you're a good kid. Don't let your mom's low expectations of you convince you otherwise. Keep high expectations for yourself. Don't let them get to you! Doesn't she realize that she's practically DARING you to screw up? Does she WANT you to start smoking or having sex just so she can say "I told you so?" I don't get it, but hang in there. You are very strong.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Thanks. I know she has nothing to back it up with. I don't come in smelling like smoke, acting drunk or drugged. There's no excuse for her to be acting this way.
Maybe there is an excuse for her acting that way...we just do not know what it is.
You should tell her the truth why you do not stay home with her: You want to get away from people who think your a liar and her mistrusting oppression!
I have so been there. My favorite story is when I stayed out three minutes past midnight (had to work late) and so my mom tried to ground me and take my car away. I was twenty at the time and bought me car with out her signature and paid my own insurance. I told her as much and said she could steal my car if she likes but I would call the cops if she got in it and drove away. As it turns out she just felt like everything was spinning way out of control and I was very independant and it scared the crap out of her.
I could not live like that so I joined the military a few months later...go figure.
Good Luck,
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo