Let me be blunt and get straight to the point: I am currently struggling with anorexia and have been for the past three or four years.
That being said I want to talk about something that really bothers me about how people view it. So here are a few misconceptions I feel need to be brought up:
1. Anorexia and bulimia are diets
Wrong, wrong wrong wrong. They are not diets they are diseases, people do not just say hey I think I'm just going to start up anorexia today and pick up some books and meal plans on it. While I cannot speak for everyone who suffers, personally for me it is about control and it is about perfection. It is what I turn to when everything goes wrong and I can't control anything else. It is when I realize that I cannot control what others think of me that it starts to become impossible. Many people call anorexia and bulimia by girl names like ana and mia. Some people think this is crazy, but it becomes your friend, it becomes your confidant. You turn to her when you feel sad, when you feel angry and when nothing else is there. She is there pushing you and believing you can accomplish your goals even when no one else can.
2. If you have anorexia you must be a vain, stupid, popular bitch
This one just hurts, but I guess it's understandable. It always reminds me of in the movie Clueless where the popular girl click always discusses how much they ate and how much it makes them feel fat. Then you would always see Alicia Silverstone drinking her diet coke in a can with a straw. They might have been the skinniest, most popular girls at school, it was no accident that the creators also made them the dumbest. And so the stereotype is built up even more. There are so many other countless media examples of skinny, bitchy girls. Personally I've found the contrary to be true, the people I know who absolutely strive to have straight A's and get into Ivy Leagues are the real sufferers and that girl may never make fun of you for being heavy and that girl may never say anything to you, there is a good chance she is suffering. See I am that girl, and it would be unfair to blame my parents for this, but they expect so much out of you that they force you to take AP classes and do phenomenally on your SAT/ACT your eating disorder starts to become the only control you have. So don't just judge people just because of how they act. Chances are people with eating disorders would never make fun of you, because they are so insecure about themselves.
3. People can just stop having it if they just start eating again
This is just plain ignorant. Eating is an addiction, yet so is not eating. Just telling someone who is obese to stop eating is not solution and just telling an anorexic person to start eating is no solution either.
4. Skinny and anorexic can be used interchangeably
Nothing bothers me more than seeing someone on tv who is usually beautiful and very proud of their curves to say I hate seeing anorexic people all over the place. Curvy is beautiful!! No, you are seeing skinny people all over the place- many of these people have been genetically blessed ectomorphs with an incredibly fast metabolism, not all of them suffer from anorexia. Their bodies are just different than yours it does not give you a right to insult people with anorexia. Please please don't ever think of skinny and anorexic as synonyms. Anorexic people don't even have to be thin to be anorexic.
5. Anorexics must make fun of heavy or even chubby people behind their backs.
This is not true for me. I would never make fun of people who are heavy or obese or overweight or anything like that. We have more in common than most people would think. We have an unhealthy relationship with food and though we are on different ends of the scale it is still killing us and we would like to stop having our unhealthy relationships with food.
What I want people to get out of this post is the idea that anorexia is a lifelong disease. I've been to therapy and probably will be doing it again soon, yet I struggle with this disease every minute of every hour of every year. It's not just something you forget about. So double think about calling someone disgusting because you can see their ribs or hip bones or because they're not beautiful or attractive to you. Remember that everyone shares this world together and the less hateful and more understanding of one another the better we will be for it
`lacey
"4. Skinny and anorexic can be used interchangeably"
That one bugs me so much! I remember being 10 years old, 5 feet tall, and 65 pounds, and people told me I was anorexic. It was news to me. I just naturally that thin.. I had grown so much, didn't gain much weight while growning, and I was skinny to start with. That was the last time people told me I was anorexic, until this summer. Yeah, I'm thin not nearly as thin as I was but that doesn't mean I'm anorexic.
I don't like it when I can see an excessive amount of bones.. it makes me feel sad. I want to help them so bad, but I don't think it is my place to help them unless we're close or they ask for it.
Great point to bring up that some people's body chemistry makes them really skinny naturally, just like other people have a really strong tendency towards being overweight naturally. It's easy to assume that they are lazy and fat, or that the skinny person is anorexic when really their body is just really different from yours.
random note: I've heard of people drinking dark colas and coffee with straws because it stains your teeth, I didn't know it had anything to do with staying skinny...
I know how badly people want to help and it really hurts me what I've done to my family and friends and all the additional worrying I've caused them. I guess all you can really do is be supportive when they come to you...
As for the straw thing that would make sense and honestly I'm not sure it has anything to do with being skinny either it was just always a fact I remembered lol I was always told not to do it because it causes wrinkles as weird as that sounds haha
`lacey
There are no beautiful surfaces without terrible depth...
I've heard of that straw thing.. on like Wife Swap or something. It makes sense for like front teeth.. I'm not sure that it wouldn't effect a person's molers.
My roommate eats his weight in powdered donettes every day, and yet he's still 6' tall and 115 lbs and the source of gossip that he's anorexic and vain.
Thanks so much for your post! It was very interesting to read, as I am in the process of writing a paper on bulimia, and it's association (or lack thereof) with childhood sexual abuse. I have learned alot about eating disorders, and the psychology behind them, things I didn't know prior. I previously held the view that anorexia and bulimia had nothing to do with psychology, but had everything to do with girls simply wanting to be thin.
I stumbled across some proana/promia websites, and found that most of the posts or chat rooms were filled with girls talking about how much weight they needed to lose because they wanted to be 97 pounds before school started, or because they knew that a certain boy was coming in from out of town in two weeks, and they needed to lose 20 pounds by August 8th. It got me to wondering if these girls were actually anorexic or bulimic, because after learning about the psychology behind this disease, they came off as just being dumb girls who wanted to lose weight. You sound very educated about your affliction and it was very good to read your post. Good luck with your recovery! I wish you the best.
It's good to hear you are writing a paper on bulimia, I love to hear that people are getting educated on the topic. And you don't have to thank me, it really is good therapy to discuss things that are bothering me and to try not to be so ashamed about it. Everyday is a struggle, but it gets so much easier when I talk about it. Thank you for the good luck it means a lot!
`lacey
There are no beautiful surfaces without terrible depth...
I really, really like this post. I think you hit all the points that every girl wants to say, eating disorder or not. I hope you can overcome this problem in your life, and when you do I know you would make a great public speaker on the issue.
<3Rachael
Mental health is more important to me than physical health because I would wish that deaths related to aging would be at least 80%. Car accidents, obesity and diabetes from diet, and smoking are really unnecessary according to my psychology professor.
Lifestyle choices in a state capitalist system are basically in the hands of big business and corporations. The cultural standards of beauty in society are a result of conditioning and learning from models (a popular term but also a psychological term).
cigarettes will make women skinny because it destroys appetite and relaxes your Gastrointestinal tract. I know from experience and quitting cigarettes is the hardest thing I've done in my life. It was peer pressure that got me into it, and peer pressure that got me out of it.
Self reliance and individual awareness in human development was classical liberal Adam Smith's concern in his Theory on Moral Sentiment. Televisions are projections of surreality and fantasy. Visual stimuli are auditory stimuli dominate the human experience.
One may capitalize from this "flaw" of human nature by making posters or billboards or colorful things. Zoolander parodies this appeal to our base senses in Zoolander when he says "Wouldn't you look at something if someone really really really ridiculously good looking were on it?"
Yes, not because of stupidity because of human nature. I doubt anyone would disagree that jealousy and comparison dominate and cause much of our anxieties.
So how can we as a community of Americans rwrite the beauty standards of heroin chic marketed in the 80's and 90's. It's not what you do, it's why you do it. I have ever been anorexic but everyone has lifestyle choices that they may regret. Does the community step in andd say enough, or do they step back and let Aphrodites dominate the screen we watch for hours on end?
I assume it's hard to be a girl because they are constantly trying to impress men or live up to standards that are unrealistic. I am speculating that maybe 20% of high school girls are depressed and by the look at their mothers; they have a role model who does not help in most cases.
I think one of the end's of all social organizations is tolerance and self-reliance. If social organizations involve Aphrodites that you will rarely see, and Aphrodites that have cosmetic surgery, we show that beautiful woman are not beautiful enough.
Little Miss Sunshine tried to tackle this issue and it will be a while before girls take power from men and the sexual-driven social institutions ie Mass Media, TV, News Katie Couric, Sports Danica Patrick, .
Are woman sporty for themselves or sporty for men. End or means? I remember their were 5 spice Girls with different names and designations. No one could overstep their boundaries of sportiness, scariness, or poshness. Really positive image for an impressionable 6 year old that needs to be talked about and debated.
Well not eating is an addiction too, so I might suggest that you get into a treatment or therapy group to help you with your problem. And yes, I do agree with you, it is a disease and you were born with it. I am an addict, it's a disease that I was born with, but I have found ways to put the addiction to a halt. So you just need to find your help, and you will, you just have to give it time, but you have to at least try.
I have sought treatment before, and my therapist didn't work out and I am planning on doing it again.
There are no beautiful surfaces without terrible depth...
Thank you for debunking these myths. I have one of my own to add, if I may.
You do not have to be skinny to have anorexia. Clinically, yes, but having every other symptom of the disease except for the weight does not make you less disordered than someone who is clinically anorexic. I've heard horror stories of girls being turned away from some treatments because they weren't skinny enough for diagnosis. This must be rectified.
Doll, you are gorgeous. You will never beat this demon until you want to and are ready to face the underlying issues. I may say that because I have been there. Also, it never goes away...so you have to continually fight the urges that never leave- and the fear of those pounds creeping up on you in your sleep after eating a little more than planned. It will never end, but you can get a hold on it someday. It took me years, and I lapse often. I will not judge you, if you ever want to talk.
This is a really great post. I understand where you are coming from because I struggled with an eating disorder as well...not as severely, but it's enough for me to understand how hard it is to get out of. Good luck with everything :D
Aww well thank you sweetie :)
`lacey
There are no beautiful surfaces without terrible depth...
I used to have a major problem with eating ... i guess disorder type shit and im beyond sick of people coming up to me like "how did you do it I REALLY want to be ana Im sooo fat!" its like honestly shut up you have no idea what youre talking about. Im beyond glad someone posted this. but one thing with #5 i know alot of people with eating disorders who are so terrified of being fat they cant stand heavy people just for the fact it shows "what they might become"
- L M