I am a procrastinator, like many teens, and because of this I put things off until the last minute, including college scholarship applications. Now I have always thought that I was just a procrastinator, but my mother believes that I have a fear of success. Is that possible, I know I have a fear of failure/rejection, but a fear of success? I am not to sure about that.
This all started because my mother was tired of getting on to me about doing what I needed to get done. She started talking to be about how I have a “fear of success.” I kinda just blew her off, but what she said stuck with me, and now I am writing about it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar a fear of success and failure are.
Now I have never actually heard of someone with a fear of success, but I am sure they exist. To be afraid of being powerful, responsible, looked up to, seems odd but not unlikely. I know plenty of people, including myself, who have a fear of failure, and usually the actions we take trying to prevent failure, cause it. A great example of this would be my freshman geometry class. I am not a math person at all, so I had a difficult time doing the work. But because I did not want to fail, I never turned in the work. Now I now what you’re thinking “How in the world does that work?” Well, it doesn’t. I made some sort of logic that if I didn’t turn in the assignment, the assignment didn’t exist, so I would not get penalized for it. Instead of taking a 50 on something, if I didn’t urn it in it didn’t count, but really I was now getting a zero. My thought process of trying not to fail, almost made me fail even worse. Now I am not saying that people who have a fear of success, succeed even more, but they put up blocks, possibly unconsciously, to prevent them selves from ever succeeding.
So, looking back at what I have said, although a fear of success is different from a fear of failure, they both have similarities. In both examples you put up blocks, preventing you from ever taking a risk, and reaching your full potential.
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I'm 30, I've been in and out of college since I was 18, currently in. I discovered my fear of failure and success when I was probably a sophomore in high school. I always figured if I didn't try, it didn't matter. Luckily, I did well enough.
I still am. I go back to my fear of failure and fear of success every once in a while, but I stopped letting it control what I was doing. I think the fear of success is about raising the bar too high, which inevitably (in my own mind) will lead to a crashing failure. At this point, I don't really care if I fall again. I keep getting back up.
-Sonja :)
I believe that you are entirely right about people having a fear of success. I suffer from this myself. I believe that if I do succeed I will have to continue this process over and over again. This thought scares me because I am not sure if I can do this. Yet I try!
College acceptance, student loans, scholarships, grants, maintaining good grades in high school, and probably holding down a part time job make this the most stressful part of any teenager's life. It's good that you realize and acknowledge your weaknesses going into this situation so that you're not totally overwhelmed asking yourself "Why?" at the end of it. Good luck!