You know that point in the interview where the person asks you about your one greatest strength and your one greatest weakness? I've never answered the latter half honestly. Sure, I give a pretty good description of something I struggle with, but that greatest weakness is something so deep within myself that I don't even recognize it. I've been fooling myself for a long time now. I've only begun to peel back the layers of my weak side.
I'm one of those people who struggle to be on time. It's not rare to see me sneak in late for some commitment. It's been an issue at a few jobs and one volunteer position. I was practically fired from a volunteer position because I didn't show up on time. I felt totally lame. More recently, I will tell someone I'll meet them at a certain time and be at least 15 minutes late. Also, I'll tell myself or my husband that I'll only blog for an hour and it ends up turning into 2 or 3 instead. What's the heck is going on? I should do what I say I'm going to do.
My entire life, I've convinced myself that my flexible outlook on time is healthy. I don't wear a watch, I'm not tied down to a schedule and I can change plans at the drop of a hat. When I don't keep my time commitments, I just shrug it off like it doesn't matter. Yesterday, I told my boss I would meet him in his office at 3pm. I told myself it wasn't a big deal and that 3ish would be fine. I didn't get there until 20 minutes after 3.
I've wanted to make changes, but I find some rationalization to hold me back from making any progress. I made myself do better today, but it won't last unless I do something real. My husband has challenged me to delete the first ProU thread notification in my email inbox every time I check it. The idea is that my insistence on meticulously keeping up with my blog is eating up my time and making me late for things. It drives me bonkers doing this, but it is showing me that I don't have to sit and read everything on ProU for hours and neglect my other goals for the day. More importantly, it's teaching me to let go of the little negotiations I make for what is the most valuable use of my time. It's not just about blogging, I do this with most everything else. I'll get too carried away with something and consciously decide to keep going and be late for my next commitment. You should see me try to get out the door. Dagwood had nothing on me.
In order to make real change happen, I have to do something I really don't want to do just to be doing it. It proves to myself that I can make the choice to say know to whatever it is that is hogging my time and move on to something else.
Time, it's at the root of my weakness. All these years I've acted like I'm above it, but it's been controlling my weakness the whole time.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
I even worte a blog just recently about being on here so much too. As far as time I would tell you to try to schedule your things out but all schedules don't work all the time. You have to turn your weakness into your strength. My weakness is road rage. Your is only time. You've got it made.
It sure messes things up when I get to really lolly-gagging around. It makes me feel real bad when I let people down and all I had to do was get my butt in gear. It's more frustrating than anything else because it seems so small, but I have the hardest time overcoming it.
www.progressiveu.org/blog/americangirlinchina