I'm so angry and I have less control over it. Every day I become more bitter.
I've always been so quiet, though, so this is amusing. I don't know whether or not it's a problem. Take right now, this very moment for example; I'm sitting in my office waiting, typing, and haven't uttered a word in hours. I've always been like this though. I'm not necessarily angry. But I am right now, and have been more often.
I guess it makes me angry that I don't have enough money. I guess it makes me angry my apartment is falling apart. I'm angry because no one has faith in my abilities. I'm angry because I haven't accomplished my goals.
I understand the importance of taking steps. I'm just not there yet. I don't want to end up like my parents; bankrupt ignorant old hilljacks. Their advice is that I should quit school and go work in a factory. Ego boost? No. I only listen to them because I owe them money.
Some people may have noticed that some of my comments aren't what they would like. It's not going to change. I hope that everyone understands that you can't get mad at someone who has a different opinion and would like you to know it. That, my friends, is the only thing that doesn't get me angry; I welcome all opinions. I just let you know mine. BTW....I'm not apologizing for anything. Nor will I.
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Funny, I used to feel the same way. I didn't owe money or anything like that. I just felt angry all the time. I didn't know what it was. I was really quiet too because I didn't know English and people couldn't communicate with me. Have you try changing your attitude the way you look at things yet? Instead of saying to yourself, "I don't have enough money", "My apartment is falling apart", and other stuff...tell yourself to do something about it. You are trying to accomplish your goal, isn't that enough? You are on your way to your dream, aren't you? So what if you owe people money. My father owed millions of dollars, but he is still holding on to his faith because my mother, my sisters and I believe in him. I don't believe that no one has faith in your abilities. Someone has too, at least you have yourself. Let out that anger. I usually scream the top of my lungs and scare people in the park or something. haha It'll make you feel great. Money is just number. It goes around, it comes around. But losing yourself...you can't get it back easily, you know. Good luck. I'm not sure if I have the right to say these things since I don't know you personally and what you've been though. Hopefully, you'll get over it and calm down. Talk it out with someone. It always helps.