An orphan with living parents... about to be adopted....

I've claimed it many times and will do so many times again... I am an orphan with living parents. I have no parents but those that had to do with my genetic makeup still live and breathe. They just are uncaring. One replaced me with alcohol and the other with a ready made family and money. Do I feel slighted or insulted by these things? well, duh. Its called being human. But I assume that the fact that I've stopped crying when my birthday comes and they don't remember, or I don't try to call my father when I haven't heard from him in 6 months or more, or I want to share a mother daughter moment with my mother and I jsut go find my best friend instead is a sign of huge improvement.

I grew up with the egg donor drinking constantly and showing me how not to be a mother. I always knew I wanted kids and that I wanted to learn from her mistakes. I can't have any but I still try to affect thsoe children I do have the ability to influence for the better because I remember how everything an adult does can affect a young child. A few years back I told her that she had negatively affected me and that her repeated negative actions were not going to continue to influence my life (she would show up at my place drunk - even though i had moved 2 states away from her at the time, call drunk at 2am, hit on my boyfriend, flash my boyfriend, etc).

The sperm donor wasn't around really at all. They were divorced and so I was the ping pong that got bounced back and forth with each hoping to score a point against the other. It wasn't much fun as many children of divorced parents can attest to. So much of life with him was garbled and confusing because it was only occasional and each time there was a different girl in his life or we were staying back at his parents place because he was a truck driver. When he had me he would stay there so it was a decent room and bed for me to stay in. Then he married a woman with 2 kids of her own that came from a family with some money. She believed that I was basically a problem to be dealt with only when necessary. Her daughters of course came first and slowly but surely, I was squeezed out as she produced two more children for my father and the regular visits, calls, and letters dwindled to nothing. To a child this is detrimental. For years I kept trying but just a year ago i finally told him he knew where I was and that I was tired of playing games with him. If he wanted to talk than he knew where I was. I haven't heard from him since.

At this point I am making parents. My boyfriend's dad has basically become my own. And a really good friend of mine who's sons are about my age and don't live around here has become my mother. That is my family. These are the people I value in my life. I'm becoming adopted and won't be an orphan for much longer.