Disclaimer: I am in the process of educating myself on trans issues, so I will shortly have an entry focusing on trans and gender-related terms.
Last summer, when I was making preparations to give a workshop on queer issues for allies, my co-presenter frantically found me five minutes before the workshop was due to start.
"What does bi-curious, fluid, downe, queer, questioning, and pansexual mean?" he asked, worriedly. That's when I realized that the terms weren't in as widespread use as I thought they were. That, and a thread on my ProgressiveU blog made me decide to write this primer.
The most basic thing to remember is that labels almost don't matter. They matter in the fact that there are preconceived notions and sometimes rigid definitions that surround them (you know, the intersection of the historical and the individual... look up C. Wright Mills for more information), but on an individual level, what matters is how the person identifies, not how you identify the person. Identifications are EXTREMELY PERSONAL so show some RESPECT. These definitions ARE NOT MEANT TO BE THE END-ALL BE-ALL OR RIGID. I am writing from the assumption that some people's sexualities are fluid. Additionally, any amount of sex (or lack thereof) can be involved in these relationships.
Lesbian - a woman who partners with women
Gay - a man who partners with men
Bisexual - someone who is attracted to men and women. Bisexuals DO NOT need to have a partner from each gender to be happy. Bisexuals do NOT "always" dump someone for a partner of another gender. We are NOT NECESSARILY in denial of our sexuality--people deal with discovering their sexualities differently. Also, bisexuality is NOT NECESSARILY "just a phase"--it is a legitimate idenfication. Even if one's bisexuality is a phase, why is that a problem, if the person is exploring themselves in a healthy way?
Transgender - someone who does not identify with their assigned gender. More information to come in a gender-focused entry.
Intersex - someone whose sex chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and/or genitalia is not exclusively male or female. More information to come in a gender-focused entry.
Queer - anyone whose sexuality is not heteronormative. The word queer is a sort of reclamation, where by identifying as such, power is taken away from those who use it in a negative way. Also, the openness of the term allows for a wide variety of sexual minorities to be recognized, and reinforces the notion that sexuality can be fluid. Some feel that queer is a mindset, and that a heterosexual person who does not subscribe to heteronormative and gender-normative notions can identify as queer as well, although not everyone agrees.
Questioning - someone who is exploring their sexuality.
Ally - a person who, although doesn't identify personally as being part of the queer community, fights for queer people.
Asexual - someone who is typically not interested in sexual relations
Bi-Curious - someone who is exploring bisexuality, but does not identify as bisexual
Downe - a term often used by queer people of color, especially Asian Pacific Americans, since the other terms may be associated with white queers.
Fluid - someone whose sexuality isn't fixed
Pansexual - someone who is attracted to people of any gender identification or biological sex
Stud - a term often used by lesbians of color who have a masculine gender presentation, since the word "butch" may be associated with white lesbians.
None - some people just don't identify as anything because they do not want to be confined by any sort of label.
I personally identify as bisexual. I do so because it is a term that I have come to accept and feel comfortable with after contemplating my sexuality since I was about 13 or 14. However, this is not to say that I am not equally open to those who identify outside of "man" and "woman" or that I will forever identify as bisexual. I also feel that my experiences fit the experiences of others who identify as bisexual. Finally, I hope that through explaining these parts of my sexuality, others will come to understand that sexuality can be fluid, and that labels are not the end-all be-all of sexuality.
labels in general are starting to get on my nerves. screw the war on drugs; let's start a war on pigeonholing!
i'm really looking forward to your gender-related post!
--stacie
That's interesting, I've never heard the ones you identified as used mainly by people of colour - this term itself is relatively unfamiliar to me! I wonder if they're used outside of America? My partner is Malaysian Chinese and I've never heard him use any of these words. But I don't imagine they have much of a queer community in Malaysia.
I like your definition of queer. I've started to identify as queer myself, but I have a hell of time explaining it to anyone - even LGBT people.
I'm definitely going to revise this entry to include that fact that I'm mostly talking about American queer people. Thanks for the comment!
Transgender - someone who does not identify with their assigned gender.
Hate to pick holes but transgender has one of two different meanings depending on who you are talking to.
The first is the historical and probably more accurate medically where transgender refers to someone that "cross-lives" but does not intend to have surgery such as SRS.
The second is one that has come into common usage since the 1980's meaning someone that does not act in accordance with their assigned birth sex. Used predominantly as an umbrella term. ie a crossdresser is transgendered by way of simply crossdressing but may identify strongly with their birth sex. That is to say a man may wear women's clothing on occasions but still consider themselves to be a man in every sense of the word. Transsexuals are under this definition transgendered although many object to the term.
Personally I like the common usage definition which marks me as a bit of traitor in some people's eyes seeing as I am an MtF transsexual.
:) Cathii
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Those who know everything have learned little from life.
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I'm definitely going to incorporate your comments into my future entry on gender-related stuff.
i was browsing around online and i found this article:
http://www.abc.net.au/arts/performance/stories/s445425.htm
that i feel might be somewhat pertinent to an entry regarding gender identity; especially if you do further research into the idea of the fa'afine.
--stacie
The fa'afine are not alone in societies other than our western culture. In India there are the Hija. In South East Asia there is the Kathoey. In American Indian culture there are the Berdache more commonly referred to as Two-Spirit. Even in Islamic cultures there is the Mukhannathun.
In fact in just about every culture world wide other than Christian dominated western culture transgendered people not only existed but were given a special place within society. This recognition has been well documented through out time and references to transgendered people can be found in some of the earliest texts known to mankind.
This leads me to believe that the real problem of non-acceptance in our society isn't the fact that transgendered people are different, but that Christianity fails to live up to its promise as an all encompassing and loving religion. In short Christianity is a MAJOR social problem.
No wonder I am an atheist!
:) Cathii
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Those who know everything have learned little from life.
This is the first time I have heard of 'downe."
A few others are:
Two-Spirited: a term used by Native North American tribal people to refer to those who are considered to be blessed with a male and female side to their spirit.
Same-Gender-Loving: A term used by some black gay organizations who prefer an alternative to what they see as "white" words.
Same-Sex-Attracted: A term used by some Mormon gay groups who do not like to associate themselves with "gay" people.
Androphile - A person who is attracted to males.
Gynephile - A person who is attracted to females. (Arnold Swartzenegger is a gynephile; Portia diRossi is a gynephile; a transexual who is attracted to women is a gynephile.)
And then of course there is "homosexual."
I don't use the word "gay" to mean a man who partners with men, but rather a person who is primarily attracted to his or her own sex. Examples: some men are gay but celibate; Ellen Degeneres is gay.
I think sexuality is way more complicated than you think. While the terms you speak of speak for themselves. But it does not necessary mean the information is accurate. It's like we're trying so hard to label each other so we can identify one another. It's not just simply, "I'm gay", "I'm bi", "I'm queer", "I'm straight", etc. Most people take the answers of whatever they get and interpret everything with what they think they know. How do I know that you are understand what I am talking about in terms of my sexuality though? Most people want a one word answer without any explanation. Then people get misconceptions of homosexuals and transsexuals because we never question it. Sexuality is ambiguous. Scientists and Linguist can try to come up with as many terms as they can. However, I doubt they will truly understand the whole concept since they are looking at this from a heterosexual point of view, which is highly bias.
How come we never question heterosexuality? Just because we can produce babies through sexual intercourse between men and women, it means we have to end up with an opposite sex? Who set up these rules? Weren't they men who wanted to come up with unwritten rule to have women all to themselves of sexual pleasures way back then? Who knows...I'll never be able to understand them.
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http://www.mylot.com/?ref=truelife
I am also not liking labels right now, although 'fluid' would probably be the best one for me from your list. I'd probably pick something more like oscillating, or kinetic, though. Heh. I've also heard some interestin things about there not being any gay physicists. I'll be a 'queer' one, then, so I don't mess up peoples' statistics. :D
As a physical sciences person, I can assure you that there ARE some gay physicists out there. They probably do identify themselves as oscillating, or nonpolar or something.
Labels are definitely getting too complicated. I like the idea of 4 options: Like Girls, Like Boys, Like Both, Don't know. Those four sum it all up in my eyes.
F*** Religion. Read more here:
http://www.progressiveu.org/020528-f-religion