I thought it would be a typical day. Maybe a little better than a typical day; it was supposed to be an odd above 30 degree day in a Minnesotan February. College applications were finally done. I’d actually finished the twelve page paper for my English class. I could leave the house with a light jacket, not the heavy winter one that protects me from sub-zero wind chills. All of this not to mention the thought of a day packed with friendly banter and smiles after a long, sickly weekend.
Eagerly, I donned my labeled ‘Goth’ clothes. I slipped on my fishnet stockings and a black skirt, pulled on knee-high socks and legwarmers, and zipped up my boots. I had no other thoughts about my outfit. It was hardly something different from what I normally wear. Granted, it was something I wouldn’t usually wear during the blistery winter days. Still, it was nothing for me to worry over.
I completely underestimated my high school administration and fellow classmates.
Walking to school, a dreary mile and a half, I didn’t notice much out of the ordinary. Seeing perverted men rubber-necking as they drive by and scandalized looks from little old ladies walking their dogs are nothing new to me.
Step into the windowless prison that is South High School and this all changes. The ‘Welcome’ desk woman (who checks IDs) does a double take before chirping thanks for being so thoughtful as to show my idea.
The commons, a large open space where students convene before, during, and after school, is not yet packed. I slip past my friends and shove my coat into my locker. Nothing much to worry over; aside from that first encounter when I stepped into the school, there was nothing oddly unordinary about the day so far.
Yet again I’m proven wrong. A group of wanna-be thugs clustered around a table point and look me over. As if I couldn’t see them. Slightly creeped out, I walked by another table filled with girls. Their eyes narrow and I can sense their thoughts: What trash. Why is she wearing fishnets?
At this point I feel like screaming, “Their just fishnets! What’s the big deal?” I’ve worn fishnets to school before. In fact, I’ve paired them with a mini-skirt. This wasn’t even that bad. My skirt hit right above my knee.
My friends, thankfully, didn’t see anything wrong with me as I stopped to say hello. No double-takes, no stares, no glares. I never get anything like that from my friends; these are people who dress up as pirates, gypsies, and renaissance wenches for fun.
My friend Jason hugged me and smiled. “Hey sexy fishnets. Can I borrow them?”
Finally! People who think I’m not a trashy prostitute!
I’d like to say that that was the end of my stare-filled day. I really would. But there’s still much left for me to recount.
Sitting at a table with a group of friends during lunch, I cross my legs. In the process, my skirt hikes up a bit. No big deal, right? I mean I wasn’t showing anything off. The skirt still covered my legs. True, an inch of skin could be seen above the knee, but that’s hardly anything to freak out over.
As before, none of my friends make anything out of this (because, I repeat, not a big deal!). That is until one of the APs walked by and stopped directly behind me.
I knew he was there but continued talking as if I didn’t. I was determined to prove I was doing nothing wrong. I met all of the dress code standards. He couldn’t possibly tell me off.
He stood there for a good two minutes before running to stop a freshman from throwing food in an attempt to start a food fight.
“That was creepy.” Heather said as she stood up to look over the table at my legs. “You’d think your bra was showing or something.”
“This has been happening all day.” I replied as I rolled my eyes.
“Fishnets draw attention.” Manda piped in before shoving a fry in her mouth.
“For crying out loud it’s just skin.” I cried. “And skin that falls under the dress code.”
“You know how they are.” Allison said. “They get antsy around bare shoulder.”
True. The administration does have an aversion to shoulder showing. In fact, they have an aversion to skin in general. I nodded in agreement. Still, the injustice of it all clung to me.
I’ve been respectful of my school’s dress code for four years. I’ve never broken it. I’ve never been seen home to change or sent off to the lost and found to find suitable clothes to borrow for the day.
I constantly see girls walking around with thongs peeping out of low-rise jeans and grotesque amounts of cleavage hanging out of too small shirts. I’ve seen girls blatantly disregarding the code by wearing skin tight short-shorts. Yet the day I show up in fishnet stocking I get stares and whispers.
Is this just a public reaction to fishnets? Is it because they seem to cause people to think of sex?
If that’s the case, why don’t they do the same to my friends who show up in lingere-esque corsets, garters, and stilettos bordering on stripper territory?
I’ve never before experienced what I did that day. Maybe it was an off day for everyone. Maybe I looked trashier then I realized. Maybe this and maybe that.
Maybe that was their way of telling me to be more respectful of society’s approved dress code.
While it was an annoying, slightly chilling experience, I’m not going to change how I dress. Why should I be treated like that when I’m properly and safely within regulations? Why should I be forced to change the way I am and how I dress just because they frown on the things that adorn my legs?
And besides, if I were one of those people looking at a girl in fishnets, I’d rather see an appropriate amount of leg than hot pink thongs and cleavage sweat.
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I wrote a whole blog about whaletail and how inappropriate it is. The issue with your fishnets was simply the stigma of their traditional association with prostitutes. Your pairing with a perfectly chaste skirt nicely subverted that stereotype, so I don't understand the big issue. With a miniskirt, I'd definitely say it's less than professional student attire, though.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I know that pairing it with a miniskirt was not the smartest thing for me to do (and I won't be doing that again!). I got more than I bargained for on that day. I learned my lesson (though, oddly enouugh, it wasn't in school)
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'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Fishnets, awesome looking as they are, just seem to have an unfortunate connotation. I completely agree with what you've said but, one could argue, isn't the point of wearing them to get attention? Granted the kind you received was definitely negative, and you should have the freedom to wear what you like if you aren't violating any rules. Just a thought.
"What was never given utterance eventually becomes too nebulous to recall."
~ Jane Smiley
Absolutely! I see a lot of girls that show WAY too much leg, or boob, OR other parts of the body that shouldn't really be seen. (Then we wonder why teachers are all turning into pervs.) I've seen fishnets at my school, you should just move here, haha. Nobody really says anything, unless it's VERY distasteful. (Ex: The above mentioned boob, leg, etc) AS much as I complain about my school, the staff and administrators are pretty easy-going when it comes to things like this.
I don't personally wear anything like that, although I almost bought a pair once.. for a halloween costume..haha, but regardless, I see nothing wrong with fishnets. I also think having a hole in your jeans that is below finger-tip length (our dress code for shorts/skirts) should be allowed. After all, if they were shorts we'd be allowed to show that skin!
Continue wearing whatever you want to as long as it abides by the dress code. You should threaten a harrassment claim on the school if they don't leave you alone. Haha, that would get them. I'm assuming you're a senior? The worst they can do (aside from being totally unfair and banning them now) would be to ban them next year, which is something you don't really need to worry about. GOOD LUCK
~In order to have a better society, we need to CREATE a better society."
As I senior I was thinking of causing the administration much trouble by protesting their unfair rules, regulations, expectations, stereotyping, and judging. I was thinking of trying to do this at the end of the year (I don't need colleges to rescind their acceptances). Trouble with my school is that the whole system is just going downt the drain. It's turned into a living hell. This example with the fishnets is only one of many dress related problems my friends and I have encountered.
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'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
People are constantly judging based on the stupidest things. It is completely ridiculous that you would get the dirty looks and those walking around with their butt cracks showing is viewed as socially acceptable.