He Wants To Join (Army)

I think he doesn’t know how close he has brought the reality of all things related to the military into my life; it is ironic...I think it's the selfish soul inside of me. 

    My uncle (my dad’s older brother) was in the Pakistani Army. One of my great Uncles was a POW, in a war between India and Pakistan- people thought he was dead but he was released in an exchange of prisoners after the war- (his son was also in the Pakistani Army). Basically…the army is an extremely significant part of the society in Pakistan too; it has been, in times of peace and of course in war.

 In fact, Fareed Zakaria, a writer for Newsweek explained that, some countries have armies but Pakistan is an army that has a country, unfortunately.  Furthermore, living in the US--I have friends who have joined the army…I have classmates who have come from over there (Iraq). The army, military things, soldiers, friends and all loved ones part of this  institution, in essence, have been my life since I was born.  

 He, who says he wants to join, is like a brother. A Pakistani citizen, my dad’s dead friend’s youngest son who I think is being too hasty in this decision.   

-----------He is intelligent, mature, too young to be this stressed. He has the weight, he thinks, of his world on his shoulders.   I asked him why…I knew the reasons, the answer I was going to get was one I expected and yet…I was hoping for a weak argument, something I could break down easily. 

   He said those reasons that I know drive many people, especially in Pakistan, to join. He thinks that the sooner he becomes a part of something where he can get money and especially benefits (Army in Pak is also treated well, I know it), he can help his mom. His mom, who has been struggling after the death of her husband five years ago, deserves so much and her youngest son wants to give up other possibilities and join the Army. He has two older brothers already trying hard to make it all good for their mom but he is taking responsibility of things he should not be worried about.     

 I respect and treasure the military and army. I value it dearly. I cherish those who put their lives in the line of bullets and bombs. My uncle did it, my dad wanted to join, but was unable to because of his parents (they only wanted one in the army). I have a friend from high school who joined, I have classmates who are thinking of and who have already decided and have been there and back.   I know all this, the numbers, the things they do. All that is them is something I could only humbly thank and be grateful for BUT I don’t know why but my heart says He should not.

 Who am I to tell him? I haven’t even seen him face to face in five years but he knows how much I love him and I know how much he loves me and my family.  I can’t tell him it’s foolish, immature…he’s too smart to not have weighed all his options. I want him to attend a university. I can’t imagine losing him in any sort of combat.

  It’s me who is being childish, immature and selfish…but this is a guy whose growth I have witnessed--some through my own eyes, some through his pictures and his conversations with me on MSN. He is not the short and boyish youth anymore. He is not the boy who used to make jokes, was a partner in childish pranks with his older brother (my age), and was the mastermind behind the ghost stories.

    What should I say?     I wish for the funny guy to have remained but life has changed him. His father’s unexpected death had the greatest impact on all of them. I can’t explain why tears fall. I think of the past and remember those old and gold times. They are not my blood yet I don’t know how my life would have been without them. They are family. They were my only loved ones when everyone else from my actual family had already moved to the U.S.     What’s the point of this blog? I’m just blue. I can’t accept the Army as his future, stupid and selfish of me but…I can’t help it.  

Edited to add- I think I have figured it out. I don’t want to “whore out my emotions,” (I read another blog that made me question my own writing)-I want to say that I am Upset, emotional and fed up with the unfairness of it all. (Life, the world, one's circumstances--things out of my control)

I really don’t think that one should have the mind set that joining the army is the only way that they’d be able to become something or be a part of something great.

As I said before, it’s not that I don’t respect this organization and what they do… BUT it just is not something that people should have to resort to because they feel they have no other road and path to take because of their circumstances.

  We, youngsters and people in general, should have more options, feel less helpless, and the opportunities should not be limited for a person who comes from a disadvantaged back ground --who has no support from anywhere that he (as other young people) considers it to be the only option and the only way to truly succeed without having setbacks and hindrances.  This isn't only one person. I know of many people who go through this decision making process to come at the conclusion that the Army would be the best avenue for them to take.      

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