Spanking: One of the many controversial ways of raising a child. Are people still doing it? Not everyone comes out bad from spanking. I know many a person who have been okay. But then for others spanking becomes abuse. To me, spanking is a last resort. As my family would say, "If you cannot hear, you will feel." Spanking was a few hits not excessive. Not because of the parent taking out anger on their child. NO MARKS ON THE SKIN! And most importantly as a last resort. But then, others I knew were abused. Their parents would take out anger on them. Hit them too much or too hard. Hit them for the littlest thing. NOT USING IT AS A LAST RESORT.
Some may say that they have seen children get hit and it hasn't worked and then others may interrogate if the child was being hit hard enough or does the child have an issue?
Also another thing is what exactly do you spank your child with? Some say just the hand. Others go for objects (belt, wooden spoon, hairbrush, extension cord, etc). A person hit with a belt buckle? That's too extreme for anyone IMO.
Soap in the mouth: Used when a child says a bad word. Better or worse than spanking?
Hot sauce on the tongue?: I have heard of people doing this. It sounds odd to me. It can work for some kids I guess as a form of punishment but what if the child likes it?
Opinions? Thoughts? Experiences?
I personally think it depends on the child. But then again maybe I am biased from experience. Please do not attack my opinion or anyone else's for that matter. Instead, can we discuss this like civilized people. I know how controversial this can be.
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Some kids might like the hot sauce, just as some kids might like being spanked. One reason that corporal punishment isn't used in high schools anymore (according to my own, personal, half-joking theory) is that the kids might like it. Some might, like one of my exes, moan and say "Yes!" while being spanked. Hopefully the adult doing the spanking will stop when that happens, though.
I was spanked as a child. As were both my littlest sisters. I also was fed soap. My stepmother almost made me swallow the soap as well. Nothing to screw up your digestive system like a bar of soap!
Personally, I think spanking is ok, as long as it's with the hand. If you can't feel the pain, then you're more likely to inflict more than is necessary. My mom just tends to scare my little sisters now by bringing them into a private area and giving them a stern lecture.
~C
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I think spanking is fine as long as it doesn't cross the line. There are some children who will not pay any attention to anything but spanking. I've seen it straighten alot of kids up and I've seen kids laugh it off. Some private schools still spank. There is a Biblical saying spare the rod spoil the child. Sometimes it's just necessary. Lecturing is not necessarily a scary thing to some kids. Some look at it as just words and forget before the day is over.
Starfire34
I believe that disipline, and abuse are two different things. I believe that disiplining your child is okay. As long as the parent uses their hand and an authority voice, not an angry/mad gesture and voice.
I was disiplined when I was younger, my dad was always the one who had to do it. I never threw fits in grocery stores, or acted out in public.
My mom also washed my mouth out with soap if I ever said, shut up, or talked back to her. She made us brush our teeth with it. Or for my brothers made them each Peanut Butter or Strawberries because they hated them.
My littlest sister, whom has a different father, he did not beleive in spanking. Therefore my little sister talks back, says any word that she wants, and throws fits all the time until she gets her way.
I believe that disipline is very good, as long as it is used in the right manner.
-deisha
I am so surprised that people on here actually are like me for the most part and don't really see anything wrong with it if it's not taken to extremes. I was expecting people who vehemently opposed it.
I was spanked as a child. It didn't take very many spankings for me to get the point. I'm not one who takes a liking to pain, so when I was spanked, whatever I was spanked for I didn't do again. It was an effective form of discipline, and it did it's job. My younger sister and younger brothers were/are all spanked too. Again, not excessively, but enough so that they know the boundaries for our family. They know how to behave, and because of that my parents are always complimented by other adults about how good they are.
I believe there Is a time and place for everything and a little heat to the seat never hurt anyone particularly for the 3 D's Direct Disobedience, Disrespect and/or Dishonesty.
My late-wife and I successfully raised two daughters and they were spanked on occasion when necessary with the "hand of correction" with love, care and concern while over the parental knee in the old fashion time honored manner.
Spanking might not necessarily be the first resort however not the last resort either while providing structure and guidance within the framework of the family unit.
The feelings and thoughts surrounding the event are as important as the event itself.
I am all for actual discipline and I think it's sad that so many people link it directly with abuse and thus a generation of spoiled brats.
I was spanked when I was younger, if necessary. My brother often needed it more... My parents used their hands, but they also used belts, shoes, wooden spoons, etc. And it wasn't considered abuse or anything of the sort. My mom told me stories of what her mother would do and it was worse...
As cliche as it is, it really does depend on the child. After awhile, all I needed was the scary look and a threat of punishment while my brother actually needed the punishment.
But abuse and discipline are never one in the same. Though apparently the government thinks so?
I was raised in a progressive but blue collar home where spanking and grounding were the normal punishments. Spankings were on the bare butt with an open hand or wooden ruler. Groundings were total, with no privileges at all, and included early bedtime and "hard labor". I can truly say I never felt abused at the time and still don't. The idea that there is something illiberal about parents acting like parents is something I've never really understood, and to be candid I think it's a losing battle for our side.
There is such a thing as true child abuse and it needs to be addressed. Cigarette burns, black eyes, broken bones, starvation: that's child abuse. A red bottom that hurts less than many common sports injuries is not child abuse, not at all.
I hate it when I hear stories of children beating up or killing their parents or grandparents. Or when I see children acting out in public. Sometimes I just wonder who is raising these children? Don't these kids know any better? I couldn't even think, never mind do, half of the things I hear children today doing. It's horrible. The things that kids can do and most importantly GET AWAY WITH.
I think a certain amount of fear needs to be in a child. Not to the point in which they are afraid to talk to the parent but to the point where they know not to do certain things or they will have to face the consequences. What most kept me out of trouble was not really viewing an act as wrong but trying to avoid the spanking. If I did something and I was spanked for it, then I wouldn't do it again. I would realize that it was wrong because my parents wouldn't just hit me for no reason.
And these stupid psychologists and psychiatrists who say that spanking does this, that, and the other thing. What foolishness. If spanking was so bad, then how come people used to do it so often in the 40's and 50's and the crime rate was so low? People these days are always trying to find a way to "baby" their children these days. They say don't hit them, don't let them do this, etc. Some even believe that kids shouldn't do chores like vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom until the child is 12. They fear for the safety of the child and say it's cruel to make a 7 year old to mop. Or what if the child swallows something. And if the child does chores, then an allowance should be given. (ALLOWANCE? I cleaned the bathrooms, vacummed, mopped, etc. Never got an allowance. But that's another issue for another blog) I mean really.
People will find any way to spoil their child. People will always do some research that will prove something about somebody. Most of it is crap. BEST SOLUTION: Whatever works for your child do it.
I really think corporal punishment should be brought back, based on my high school experience. A lot of kids I went to school with would misbehave because nobody could make them obey, causing them to think they didn't have to. A good smack or two would bring them into their senses.