Read if you've had sex before marriage

I know many people still married who are not virgins.

Sex outside of marriage is to be avoided, but God forgives and you should forgive yourself as well. If someone is going to marry you, they will love YOU, not whether or not you've had sex before.

Remember though, just because they say all the right things, that doesn't mean that the guy ACTUALLY loves you. He may just love what he's about to get you to do.

Be strong, have faith, and good things can happen.

From the nonreligious point of view:

Sex is a wonderful, beautiful, natural thing. Of course, we shouldn't be going at it like rabbits all the time, but denying yourself an intimate relationship with someone you love (or even just like a lot) based on some antiquated religious morality just seems silly to me. I know that'll offend a lot of people, but I don't care.

Besides, anyone that tries to deny the importance of physical chemistry and compatibility is a fool. I think having a good sex life is important to any committed relationship, but especially a marriage since that's pretty much the biggest committment you can make.

The important thing is to remember to have safe sex. Condoms, the whole shebang.

--stacie

My husband and I had sex and even moved in together before we got married. We have been together for almost seven years and married for almost six years now and we are still inlove with each other. I beleive in God and still think that I have made the right decisions in my life. You do not need to go on what other people think. Do what is right for your life and that is all you need to do.

go read my blog, that has my opinion, titled " why wait"

I think you should ask the opposite question. How many marriages are there between virgins and how many of those survive? Everything requires hard work and experience, including sex. I can see a long-term relationship working if one partner is inexperienced, because one could educate the other. However, two people who have no clue what they're doing might have a hard time pleasuring each other in the long-term. I suppose you could always study. However, I don't see any substitute for experience. At the very least, people should know that they enjoy sex with each other before they commit to any long-term relationship. You don't want to get married and realize that your wife is a cadaver in bed.

- Austin :-)

I would personally never marry someone without having sex with them first. I think to get married, you have to be compatible on many levels and, in my opinion, the physical part is really important. Just because I think it's important doesn't mean I'm some kind of huge whore who sleeps with just anybody either. When I'm in a committed relationship I determine when the time is right.

I think that sex before marriage is you choice
Love is Neva Lost

I haven't had sex and i'm not judging you. I guess that you could look at it from the perspective of, if you found a guy that you loved and wanted to marry and he was a virgin, would you still marry him? Or if you found a guy that you loved, and he wants to marry a virgin because he believes in no sex before marriage, would you tell him you were a virgin? and if you said you weren't, would you still expect him to marry you?

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller

Come on people. Sex is not rocket science okay? Good sex is great communication, and unselfish sex. That's all.

Are there poor lovers out there? Yes. But they're probably poor at a lot of other things too such as only caring about themselves...being the first. But there may be poor lovers out there who need a bit more education, give them time. Again, it's not rocket science.

Now what about the statement that if two people are great in the sack, wouldn't they be great at relationships? Hmmmm.......

The question to ask yourself is why you allow yourself to feel guilty about it in the first place. I thought the only people who think premarital sex is bad these days were the worst of the religious wing-nuts.

Giving another person an orgasm is a good deed.

I'm a god fearing man, not a religious man. Which means I read the Bible a lot, but I still rather sleep in, watch football on Sundays, than go to church. I get chastised by tons of religious zealots for not attending church.

There is no need to feel guilty at all for having pre-marital sex. Mostly because it's an oxymoron, and secondly because those who are pointing the finger are probably doing it. I'm not sure if your boyfriend or anyone your with is making you feel guilty for having had pre marital sex or not, but if he is, that's pretty much a red flag. In his eyes he views you as an embarrassment, more so is trying to make you feel guilty. Everyone has a past. Hey what if you're a virgin, but a raging alcoholic? What's worse right? Everyone has a past...just remember that.

Maybe you'll regret your past, but who doesn't. As long as you learn from it.

I would say, don't sweat what anyone thinks of you, religious zealot or not. Live your life responsibly with high moral standards and you'll just be fine.

Perfect example of a marriage between non-virgins - neither of my parents were virgins when they got married. My mother especially had had quite the sexual escapades, and yet they're still together 18 years later and I don't think I've ever seen a marriage I would more like my own to emulate.
I myself, though still a virgin, am definitely planning on losing my virginity before marriage, probably in the next several years. I think that sex is an important part of any relationship and it is important to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone before you decide to spend the rest of your life with them.

in my faith, we're supposed to wait until we get married to have sex. I didn't wait. I felt like i was ready to lose my virginity and i didnt want someone to tell me i couldnt because that would make me want it more.

I didn't wait for marriage before having sex. However, I sometimes wish I would have. I ended up pregneant at the age of 16. I lost my childhood, and the path I went down has affected me throughout my entire life. I wish I would of been taught by someone that it is better to wait. I didn't have parents teaching me how to at least make educated and informed decissions. Just because you have had sex before marriage doesn't change your self worth. As long as you know who you are and practice your own set of moral values, you will be just fine. Just remember there are always people that will take advantage of you, stick to your gut feelings and never do anything in any situation that you are just not sure that you are ready for. Most importantly respect yourself, and always do what is best for you. These are things I wish I would of learned a long time ago.

Marriage is just a ceremony to represent people's commitment towards each other. Why should it even exist?
Therefore, why should rules regarding sex and marriage even exist?
Sincerely,
Lourdes Vera

If you know that you and this person have complete and TOTAL trust, faith, and love for each other, then what does a ceremony change? does it change your feelings? does it change you feelings for each other? no. Marriage is a mind game. You can be "married" without a ring or a ceremony. If you both believe you're just as close as any married couple then what does another persons opinion matter? it shouldn't. Sex is a personal and private decision that you make with your own judgement. If you feel pressured at any point in time then maybe it's not really worth it. The one person who really cares about you and wants to be with you because they're in love with your soul, and you as a person, doesn't NEED to be with your body. hoped this helped. i'm in the same boat as you are.
~*alicia*~

that having sex is a personal choice. As and atheist, I don't care much about waiting until I'm married, nor do i like religions which limit my personal choices. But I am going to wait to have sex until I'm darn well ready, and that's final!

~Violinstef