You know how adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up? When I was a kid -- as young as 6 years old -- I wanted to answer "dead" but knew better. My life circumstances were so bad at home and at school that my death was all I thought about; it was that way until I was 29...the only hope & comfort in this world I had. I have had people I knew who made that choice and had to resort to desperate measures to exercise it. I also know people whose lives were destroyed because someone's desire for death was so desperate their paths crossed for a brief moment in time. As such, the right to die is one I have thought of a great deal since that time, about my own opinions about it, my beliefs regarding suicide and personal freedoms.
Life is a personal freedom. Each day we have a choice of whether or not to live it and how. It's easy enough to choose not to; heaven knows I know. Some people are fortunate to never consciously be aware of that. For others it is a fact of life.
I think people do have a right to end their life, but as with anything there are conditions: 1. They have to be psychologically sound and able to make that decision; 2. The choice to die does not deprive others of their choice to live; 3. The method of death doesn't involve anyone who doesn't want to be involved; 4. The individual making the decision is fully aware of all ramifications not only to themselves but also to all in their lives; 5. There are no doubts as to the decision because all decisions are final. In addition, I believe that someone who is unwilling to end their life by their own hand when capable of doing so (i.e. trying to get police to shoot them) clearly don't want to die.
Personally at this point in my life I'd only choose to end my life if my quality of life were to be poor (i.e. terminal illness/DNR [do not resuscitate order]); I love being alive with all it's triumphs and challenges. Would I have had any regrets had I been successful way back when? According to my beliefs, kinda difficult to have regrets in the absence of conscious thought.
I think the right to die is something that each person has to make for themselves and that it is fluid, can change over time as we do. When it comes down to it, choosing to die is a personal freedom. I would no more impose my beliefs on the right to die on another human being as I would my political or religious beliefs. I also know from experience that those who have a true need to die will do whatever they have to in order to exercise it, and this often leads to involvement of a completely innocent person (i.e. jump in front of a car) and great psychological distress to the innocent.
Death in our culture is an anxiety-provoking one...we have no real, clear definitions of what death means nor rituals for the living to find peace with it. As such, any issues regarding it are examples of when the personal becomes political. Hope and life and living it are luxuries; why should I impose my beliefs on someone else from the privileged position I now inhabit (one of hope, living)?
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I completely agree with what you said. Although i do not condone suicide (I have strong opinions on people who think they have no other option in life but death) i believe that it is a choice (although a choice that needs to be made by a mentally sound person with regards for those who the person might hurt or involve) And that if we have the right to life, than we have the right to all aspects of life, which includes ending said life if the person sees fit
I think it is good to question such a strong desire as one's to die before "their time"; Unless it's an impulse and has been ongoing for some time (sometimes years) likely it is something the individual has thought of long and hard, something that kept them awake late at night and woke them early in the morning...likely they can think of nothing else and wish fervently they could. Often the thinking so much on it is trying to find a shred of hope somewhere...and in some cases, the only hope that can be found is the solace that someday they will know peace in death (if that is their belief of what death means/is).
If suicide ever were to be legalized, I think there would have to be a strict standards of care set up to assist the individual with their decision and making sure that is what they want. Do I ever think it will be legalized in my lifetime? No, not in the the U.S. I think discussing it is important; realizing one's beliefs regarding it, what would happen if someone in their life was considering it, what would happen if they, themselves considered it....in many ways it's very revealing about one's beliefs in life, death, and personal choice.
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"Freedom is an expensive thing." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
As for being legalized, honestly what is the point? Anyone who commits suicide obviously isn't going to be around to pay the time in jail for it anyway..
I suppose I agree with the blogger that suicide is a personal right, but I do not think in any way that it is ok. I have seen the repercussions of suicide more than once. One of my brother's best friends of 11 years killed himself October 10th 2006, and although I didn't personally have a relationship with him, I was torn apart for weeks knowing that he chose death over life. A person can always recover from depression, if they will seek help through a friend, a professional, or some sort of medication.
I don't believe that ending your life is ever the answer, because none of us knows what tomorrow brings, and none of us knows how the world will react to situations. None of us are aware of who we can help or where we can make a difference if we will just give life one more chance.
I see taking your own life as selfish, to be frank, because you are saying that your own life is all that matters, not the people around you who care for you, and not the people you may encounter and make a positive impact on tomorrow.
Suicide is not the answer, it never will be.
-Anne Michelle
No arguement. I agree completely.
Well writen : )
--> L.
Thank you.
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"Freedom is an expensive thing." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I agree with most of what you've said, but I wondered at your qualification that one must be of sound mind to want to die. There are those who would argue that no one who is suicidal could possibly be sane; at the same time, if an "mentally unbalanced" person is miserable enough to want to die, who are we to stop them on the premise that they do not meet society's expectations of rational behavior?
"What was never given utterance eventually becomes too nebulous to recall."
~ Jane Smiley
Death, especially when it involves someone voluntarily ending it who is otherwise healthy, is not an easy subject to think or talk about. Most people's response would be, "You'd have to be crazy to want to die." What easier way to completely invalidate something? What easier way to not have to think about something than to invalidate it? I know. I've done the exact same thing. It has been done many times in the past to historic figures, those who dared to speak what was unacceptable at the time.
One can be suicidal, sane and have a grip on reality (AKA first category). There are also those who are not, who are having a psychotic break, out of touch with reality who are not oriented to time, place, nor even who they are (AKA second category). There is a huge difference between the two, one I feel is significant enough to be considered especially in a decision having a lasting impact such as this decision would, were one to consider it. My personal belief would be that someone in the first category could make a decision and someone in the second category could not. For me, that would be the deciding line. Why? I've spoken to people who have experienced brief breaks with reality (second category); decisions they made during that time they were not happy with, ashamed or even horrified with. Their behavior was atypical or even the complete opposite of who they are on a day-to-day basis. Those in the first category are able to appreciate the effects of their decisions, the lasting impact (if any), and to make a decision based upon those facts and their own personal belief systems.
That is why, in my own personal opinion, I believe that one should be of sound mind in order to make a decision in regards to their life/death.
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"Freedom is an expensive thing." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Another agreement here. I like the theme of hope in your entry, though you still remain constant with your belief that everyone deserves their own decision to do what they will with their life--literally.
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Thanks for the comment & for dropping by. Sometimes even a tiny shred of hope can make a huge difference.
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"Freedom is an expensive thing." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sure can. Keep up the good work with these blogs.
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I'm not so sure that it should be explained that casually....is death really a "right" or a complete cop out?
Don't get me wrong, when people are terminally in and in constant pain, it is almost more humane to relieve them of that pain than to make them continue to suffer; if that is what the terminally ill patient wants, that is.
And after typing that last paragraph, I suppose I can see your point. If you want to chicken out because you can't take it, I guess it's a right that all people have. I suppose I am biased because I have dealt with this issue first hand with a family member. I saw what his act did to the entire family. It just didn't seem fair to everyone else involved.......
I am sorry for your loss; I have been on both sides of that fence and know the devistating effects it can have on a family.
I also know that not all pain is physical; incredible amounts of pain can be emotional in nature and just as devistating...in some cases even more, in my experience more so for it is harder for me to get out of my head to escape pain of an emotional nature than it is to distract myself from pain of a physical nature (tho there is a degree of emotional pain that accompanies physical pain, especially in the case of terminal or debilitating illnesses).
It's a very difficult thing when someone you love wants to die and is otherwise healthy. There is the internal battle between what the self wants & what the other person wants. Its so difficult to be able to look at such a situation objectively because the fact is you can't; you love the person &/or the people whom love this person. It's not an enviable position. I've also tried to get someone to want to live, to "fix" them, watched them struggle, seen their daily torture, seen them try to be strong for me but in the end...they couldn't.
I think this is a good topic to discuss for precisely that reason. People who want to die often have no idea what it will do to loved ones or even mere acquaintances. Likewise , discussion itself is a good thing just to get to know what stance one does/doesn't have in a certain situation, learn the views of others, a chance to grow.
Again, my sincere condolences to you and your family. I wish this was a world where no one knew that pain.
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"Freedom is an expensive thing." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thank you.... I do understand that some may feel so overwhelmed and depressed and so trapped in their own mind that they do not see any other way out. The thing is, there are medications and therapists to help with these feelings. Help exists to work to get past these feelings. Anti-depressants can work miracles in many situations. I can't see anyone wanting to feel so down and depressed, but then why not do something about it - something that doesn't result in loss of life.
After living through it, I know that I could never resort to suicide because I would never want to put anyone else through the pain and confusion associated with a family member's suicide.
The "right" to die is not one that requires an argument for or against. If I desire to kill myself, I will always have the ability to do it. Labeling suicide as illegal, or even just rendering it "wrong"- both are farcical applications. If I understand something to be illegal, to be wrong, this means I understand it to have negative consequences in my future. Those who take the path of suicide have no future- right or wrong no matter hold any weight. Of course everyone has a "right" to die.
I also have a couple qualms with your concluding paragraph in particular. First off, you claim we possess no cultural rituals "for the living to find peace with [death]." If you mean that as a culture we have little in the way of dealing with death head-on (without ignoring it) then I would agree. However, if you mean we have no practices which deal in any way with mortality then I would like to point of just a few of the most powerful of such rituals. Consider, at the most basic level, the idea of our society's intentional "hiding away", "brushing under the rug", of all things death. We bury our dead out of sight; we underplay the horror of death in war (when we rationalize that it serves a higher purpose); we are careful, for the most part, to keep the gruesomeness of death (a very real part of life) out of our popular movies, TV, music, and books; we even stubbornly chase after the extension of life (through medical technology for instance) though in the end life will end no matter what and accidents DO continue to happen. These are a small minority of the large repertoire our culture possesses when it comes to ways of pressuring us to forget about the reality of death until the day it hits us.
One final point you made, one statement, I would like to address most emphatically. THIS IS WHERE I BELIEVE YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG:
"Hope and life and living it are luxuries; why should I impose my beliefs on someone else from the privileged position I now inhabit (one of hope, living)?"
To get this straight: you see life as wonderful, beautiful, worthwhile; you affirm it, love it- and you would allow a fellow human being to go on in a state of suicidal depression without a whole-hearted attempt to show them what you see, to teach them the possibility of living with happiness? Not me, my friend.
One problem I have with people killing themselves is you are doing it to such a worthless end. I've always felt that if I were going to kill myself I would just go and join the peace core. Dedicate myself to something that could benifet someone, humane suicide if you will. Terminally ill would be an exception to that though.
Huh, that's an idea. Join the Peace Corps.... that's an interesting and helpful alternative.
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Um...personally I don't agree with suicide because I don't think that's the only option to have "peace" or the only out or life's troubles and challenges. I also feel like everyone has their destined time to leave this world and it is not our obligation to decide when that is.
In one of your replies you spoke of a first category and second category. I know someone who is in the first category someone Ihave known for 4 years and we became closer friends about a year ago. They have had thoughts of suicide and have held knives to their wrist but never cut themselves and thought of overdosing but never did it. What would you say some reasons why they have stopped themselves? What would give someone hope? What would be a breaking point?
Life at times goes hard. But no matter what is happening life does get better. Its just a roller coaster or something that has good and bad times but for every bad time there is a good one waiting somewhere around the corner. I know its hard to believe, there were times were my friends as well as I had hard times believing it. But it always does. So I don't think its right or moral to commit Sucide. It has no pride and no dignity. People will remember unfortunatly that you took your life. But thats not really the real reason. The reason why taking ones life is corrupt because you never know what you could have been. Many times you see famous people and their hard stories but look who they turned out to be. Amazing for the most part people dispite their hard times. And you may believe that noone in this world could have had as hard life as yours but thousands of other people do.
Hi. We have never met. I am 18-years-old and a senior at Virden High School. You may not know me, but i feel like i know you as well as my own self. Maybe because a lot of the things you expressed relate to me in more ways then one. I don't think i have ever had any true friends- only the ones that pretend they like you and then go off and gossip about you behind your back, i cannot say that i have never done drugs or alcohol, i never got good grade (never tried), nor did my family ever care about me, i was abused when i was younger by my father, and and brothers and sisters refuse to talk to us. What im trying to get at here is that my life was pretty crappy-until i turned to God. Yes, i abused drugs and alcohol, yes i cussed, yes i got into fights, and yes i thought of-and attempted- suicide. It wasn't until i was lying in a hospital bed listening to the nurse and the state officer discuss admitting me into the psychiatric wing of the hospital to my parents that i realized the only thing making my life bad was me. The things i thought, the people i hung out with, the things that i did....everything revolved around what i thought was the worst life ever. I knew that i could fix this, and i knew i was not crazy for wanting to die...no one is ever crazy for wanting to die, they just simply feel that their life will only keep getting worse. God literally saved my life. I go to church, i have several good friends, i don't drink or do drugs, and my father and i get along now thanks to counseling. See, God loves everybody-no matter how much you think that every one is against you, he is always there. When i feel sad, i just think about how one day we will all be living in perfect harmony in heaven along his side and that living truly is worth it in the end. Open the bible. You do not have to read the whole thing, simply skim through the pages, it will make you feel better.
-x-Rose-x-
that... was awesome.
If someone is psychologically sound, I'm not sure they would really want to be making the decision to end their life. Your third term of the decision making seems to be a contradiction in and of itself. The death will most likely involve someone, not necessarily in an act of assistance, but in the repercussions. Unless a person is completely alone, no family, no friends, no human contact, I don't think there can be a death without involving someone.
Death is a part of life for everyone, its the one thing that every person will do. But life is about the journey, not the destination. With constant debates about God and the afterlife, no one can be entirely sure what will happen after we die. I believe that a person who is psychologically sound will recognize the unpredictableness of having a "future" after death and conversely the importance of making the most of life while we have it.
but having a best friend attempt suicide really affected my life.
she lived, her parents came home in time to save her, but it had a bad affect on my life.
I think that if someone is considering committing suicide, they should first think about the affect on those who are closest to you.