“Just a post? No. That was syntax genocide. The language you murdered left behind letters. Letters to watch, Mr. Goku… with their I’s,” says Ms. Pink, a cat-like creature in a suit and tie who deals out grammatical justice in the popular online comic, V.G. Cats, copyrighted to Scott Ramsoomair. In this particular strip, she addresses a thoughtless human internet addict who believed he could get away with posting in the dreaded, mauled, shudder-worthy form of the English language popular with incompetent teenaged typists: chatspeak.
Chatspeak is a very lazy way of getting one’s words across on a computer. Abbreviations such as “lol” for “laugh out loud” and “brb” for “be right back” are common and, for the most part, widely accepted and understood forms of chatspeak. The problems begin when people start substituting letters for words when typing things other than actions and keeping some in actual English. Usually the strangled sentence that results is so bruised that language elitists have difficulty deciphering the meaning – if ever one was intended.
Other common mistakes made by the incompetent and lazy are ones they were taught not to make since the first grade. You’re not going to the movies – “ur” or “your” going to the movies. They’re not going to the movies, either – “there” or “they r” going instead. Typically we’re also not going to the movies – “were” going, which, of course, changes the pronunciation of the word so that even if this terrible statement was said out loud, no one would understand it. All three of these words are frequently misused in everyday life but, with a little help from the home row keys, society could cut back on grammatical misperceptions and continue on with a clearer outlook on life – or at least the written word.
Ms. Pink’s words, then, would be excellent ones to live by. Citizens of the world could better themselves by abandoning the so-called language and letting it die with the current generation. This would allow the human race to advance in ways thought impossible since the introduction of chatspeak. Intelligence will once again flourish in the minds of the young; English papers will see more A’s than they have in years. If the elite could mobilize, their superior grasp of grammar and syntax would defeat the evil of the chatspeakers.
From instant messaging services to chat boards to forums and sites, the darkness of chatspeak has spread to every corner of the World Wide Web. It is the bane of all sanity as we know it, and unless it is stopped, “there” doomed to going to the movies and the human race is doomed to stupidity. The next time one is tempted to substitute numbers for letters and letters for words, one should remember the words they are mauling. Remember Mr. Goku, and what happened when he thought he could get away with a chatspoken post. Recall Ms. Pink, and her words of wisdom, for she knew that it was not just a post. It was syntax genocide.
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I loved this! And I couldn't agree more! I was raised by an English teacher, so chatspeak makes me cringe. It may be easier for the typist, but it is brutal for the reader. It's like typing in code. Not the best way to convince a wide audience.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I am a self-titled "Grammar Nazi," and I can honestly agree with that you're saying. I have never in my life used chatspeak accept for the occasional "haha." I commonly type *laughs* or something of that nature. Texting and Instant Messaging has really degraded the quality of the English language because it's difficult sometimes to switch from that abbreviation mode to writing timed essays in class! I'm a texter, but somehow I manage.