June 23, 2008
Last week I ruined my diet again. And the worst part about it is that it was just for some measly icecream. Today I am restarting my diet. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I started gaining weight when I was seven and I did not stop until my senior year in high school. Then I weighed about 315 pounds and now I am about 280 pounds. I stopped keeping track. I did lose weight and I am proud of myself but I still have a long way to go. Now you can come on this love hate journey with me and see what it is like, to be a fat girl!
1:45pm
June 24, 2008
Yesterday I did a decent job on my diet. I did not really cheat but I did eat a little bit too much. Someone said that there were popular fat girls in their school but their school was special. They can't really say anything until they have expirenced it themselves. I was thinking today about Broadway and how you never see fat people in Braodway musicals. There are a few exceptions such as Hairspray, but if you think about it, the amount of dancing that they have to do. I was in a college musical and that was hard enough. Man, I have a dream of being on Broadway one day. I would love to be on Broadway! Just one problem... fat people are few when it comes to Broadway.
2:15am
June 24, 2008
Another thought is that being so big had caused me so many health problems. Arthritis and Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Not to mention that I am at risk for diabetus because my grandmother has it. I feel so weighed down by my weight. My weight has caused me so much pain. I do not know, I guess that I just feel kind of helpless. I just need to lose weight. That is all it will take!
I say this with the highest concern for you, so don't think I"m out to offend. You are consulting with a doctor about all this, right?
I also discourage people thinking about their food intake when trying to lose weight as a 'diet'. That implies that it is a temporary thing, but really, you'll have to fight with your weight your entire life, so the habits you begin now will have to be lifestyle changes. It only takes 21 days (I think...) to form a new habit or to break an old one.
~C
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I'd also like to add that portion control should be the focus of your habit change. You don't have to completely deny yourself ice cream. Just get in the habit of eating a quarter to a half cup once a week, or something more reasonable than the average cone at an ice cream shop. If you don't deny yourself treats, you are less likely to experience that "Oh well, I failed; I may as well eat all of it" feeling when you do break down and give in to a cone or a sundae. You can eat as much as you should, and be okay with the fact that you are sharing or throwing away the rest because the ice cream shop portions are too big.
But consulting a doctor or nutritionist or dietician is an important part of learning the right amount of food for your body.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
You could always not think about your food intake to much. You have a diffrent goal you want to acheive (Broadway) and you can focus on that energy. You can not make it there sitting around or not trying. Take alot of dance and acting classes, you will have fun and lose weight. You can take along snacks with you so you wont have to vend away your cash. The only time you need to focus on food anything is when you do your weekly/ bi weekly list, be wise about list making and avoid random purchases.
This is how I lost over a hundred pounds and the fun goal ( which is not broadway for me) reaching took out the stress that I would eat away.
I am not sure what the story is behind the problem you have so I do not really know. I second the other comment to be sure your chatting with your Doc. Getting hurt will be a huge set back.
Good luck
~T
All truths are easy to understand once discovered; The point is to discover them ~Galileo