This has become a very challenging subject for me. When I was in high school our class was divided into clicks that include the jocks, geeks, and the gothic kids. While not everyone fit into one of these stereotypes if asked who they hung out with you would get, "I hang with the geeks." I was reading a post by a fellow blogger on here Brittany Ann (<-- excuse me if I spelled that wrong?) She said, ""Bisexuality isn't a true life-long orientation." and I 100% agree with that. I am for Gay Rights and am all about marriage and equal rights, but I feel that bisexuality is kind of like claiming to be Emo, it for the attention. People know by labeling themselves outside of accepted society, they are bound to draw attention.
I want to throw this in here real quick.. I had a user post a comment.. and I did not even think to include my DISCLAIMER...
I KNOW there are people out there that know what Emo
is and what the idea surrounding Emo was supposed to be. I am NOT referring to you! We now have
these new age teenagers who feel that it is all about black makeup,
angry, and cutting themselves.
My sister and her group of friends actually claim to be emo. They
listen to Pop Rock music. They are 15/16 years old. I've asked them
several times what the word Emo means and all I get it giggles and
laughs.
Okay, 1st of all, Emo is a genre of music, not a style of clothing. So shopping at Hot Topic and listening to Good Charlotte does not make you Emo. I want to site this because I feel that is says it way better than I can.. so here goes:
"Emo is a style of rock music
which describes several independent variations of music with common
stylistic roots". As such, use of the term has been the subject of much
debate. In the mid-1980s, the term emo described a subgenre of hardcore punk which originated in the Washington, DC music scene of the mid-1980s. In later years, the term emocore, short for "emotive hardcore"
or sometimes "emotional hardcore", was also used to describe the
emotional performances of bands in the Washington DC scene and some of
the offshoot regional scenes such as Rites of Spring, Embrace, One Last Wish, Beefeater, Gray Matter, Fire Party, and later, Moss Icon.
Starting in the mid-1990s, the term emo began to refer to the indie scene that followed the influences of Fugazi, which itself was an offshoot of the first wave of emo. Bands including Sunny Day Real Estate and Texas Is the Reason had a more indie rock
style of emo, more melodic and less chaotic. The so-called "indie emo"
scene survived until the late 1990s, as many of the bands either
disbanded or shifted to mainstream styles. As the remaining indie emo
bands entered the mainstream, newer bands began to emulate the
mainstream style. As a result, the term "emo" became a vaguely defined
identifier rather than a specific genre of music." -- Wikipedia
I of course went through my phase where I was emotionally distraught, angry at my parents, and just hated life. I call that being a teenager in high school. This scene is growing among teens. I can't really say why people are drawn to a particular music genre, perhaps it is the feeling of relation with what is being said. At the same time, my husband listens to crazy heavy metal where they scream alot and you can barely make out, and the ones you can they are referring to death or drugs. Looking at him you would never know. He is polite and kind hearted and does not use illegal substances. I guess we can save that for another debate.
My point is, I am tired of seeing and hearing 12, 13, 14 and even 15 years old telling me how emo they are. They are depressed and miserable and life is so bad. Perhaps therapy may be a better option?!
I consider myself Emo.
Not normal emo. Instead, I take it to mean emotional.
But instead of using it as an attention getter, I allow my emotions to fuel my artistic abilities; my drawing, writing, acting, singing.
I'm more happy then distraught and angsty though I do have my moments.
'Emo' has gotten such a bad wrap lately. It's NOT all bad. People just make it out to be such.
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"We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less." --Colossians1:28
There are people out there that know what Emo is and what the idea surrounding Emo was supposed to be. We know have these new age teenagers who feel that it is all about black makeup, angry, and cutting themselves.
My sister and her group of friends actually claim to be emo. They listen to Pop Rock music. They are 15/16 years old. I've asked them several times what the word Emo means and all I get it giggles and laughs.
i dont consider myself emo but sometimes i believe i am b/c i get pissed off at mad ppl for jus pushing my buttons the wrong way.
I completely agree.
I can't stand the kids that go around in all black, pale as anything, with black mascara and eyeliner on going "oh woe is me (i have to go through adolescence)."
I'm still in high school, but there's a fine line between growing up and "being emo."
I think if people are going to use it as a classifier, then it truly needs to represent what it's describing. Not teenagers who are having a hard time coping with things that they'll have to learn to cope with for the rest of their lives.
You make such a great point.
I agree, Emo's are stereotyped for the image that un-accepted teenagers and punk bands have 'blessed' on the modern world. I'm emo, because i look at things in an emotional way, which allows me to write and take photos that i can connect with. to say i cry everyday and where blazers in the summer with stripey pants is another story.
And some of the best art comes out of some very Emo(tional) times.
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"We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less." --Colossians1:28
you are ignorant about bisexuality really discredits anything else you have to say.
I suppose I will post a topic regarding this.. at a later time... I am just checking in.. but on my views of bisexuality.. I feel that it is a transitional period where a person is romantically involved with both a member of the same and opposite sex. In really they will chose one of the other.. hopefully... and become heterosexual or homosexual.
I am not saying this out of pure ignorance. My best friend is gay. He dated several guys and girls though out high school and college. He is now in a relationship with a man and have been for several years.
I am not sure if I believe that you are "born" gay or not... but my friend tells me that he made a choice to date women because he felt he needed to hide who he really was, because it was not accepted in society. He said that he did have romantic feelings and enjoyed the sexual experiences with women, but that isn't the same as loving and respecting the guy he is currently with. He said the connection is just different.
You choose one person at some point because you choose that person - that has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It doesn't "make you straight" if you choose a person of the opposite gender, yet are still attracted to people of the same sex, no more than a straight person stops being attracted to people of the opposite gender when they choose a life partner.
I am in a relationship of over two years with another woman right now. Does that make me gay? Of course not. I am still attracted to men. Therefore, I am bisexual. Even if I get married to a guy, I know I will always be attracted to women. I cannot claim to be "straight" simply because I marry a guy, though.
See, I just don't buy that. I feel that if you are in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex you are homosexual. If you are in a committed relationship with someone of the opposite sex you are heterosexual. I feel that middle ground of bisexual is confusion on what you are really looking for in a partner.
I have to agree with Caitlain here. You are uninformed about what it means to be bisexual. Caitlain's point should be well-taken: straight people who are in marriages or other committed relationships still feel attraction to other people. In a perfect world, maybe people could turn off outside attractions. It would certainly help the institution of marriage (people's outside attractions wouldn't tempt them to cheat). But, in the real world, you show me someone in a committed relationship who says they've never since been attracted to anyone else, and I will show you a liar. Outside attractions are still there, it's just a matter of choosing whether or not to act on them. Hopefully, married or committed people choose not to act on outside attractions, but they will always be there.
As someone who is also very much attracted to both sexes, I can tell you that I will never stop being attracted to both sexes. I don't know what the sex of the person I will eventually settle down with will be (though, at this point I suspect male), but I know that other attractions will always be there. I just won't act on them. I must say, sometimes I think it would be much easier to only be attracted to one sex. Having more options doesn't always help. That said, however, I think it's very important for bisexual people to acknowledge that they are bisexual. I finally came out as "gay" this past February, after 13 years of being attracted to both sexes. I like guys more, but I very much like girls too. And unfortunately, "gay" just doesn't work for me. Once everyone thought I was "gay" I felt like for all my trouble of coming out, they still didn't understand me. They can't understand me unless they understand that I have a very real attraction to both sexes.
I think you mentioned something about bisexuals not wanting to fit into a label as a form of rebellion or something like that. I think the problem is that it's human nature to want to create labels. Human sexuality is not as simple as gay or straight. There is a lot of gray area in between, and falling somewhere in the gray area doesn't make anyone's feelings less legitimate.
John K.
is why I call you ignorant. You show a complete lack of understanding about how the basic concepts of sexual orientation work. As a straight (presumably) individual, you even lack the fundamental understanding of what it means to be bisexual. How do you even remotely believe that you can presuppose how others are "required" to feel with respect to sexual orientation? You can't, of course, because you've not been there.
Unless you're bisexual (which you aren't), or have spent a considerable number of years studying the subject (which you haven't), you have absolutely no basis for making such an assertion. Whether you "buy it" or not, it exists, and hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people live it every single day. I'd say that outweighs any uninformed opinion you might have on the matter.
Like I said.. this is how I feel about the subject.. and I am not going to change my mind.
As far as attraction goes.. I feel there is a difference between finding someone physically attractive and emotionally attractive. There a plenty of women I look at and think how pretty their eyes are and that they have a beautiful smile.. but that is it. I have zero feeling for them emotionally or romantically and never will no matter how much I get to know them. I feel the exact same with men. There are alot of men I find physically attractive, but that is it.
Like I said, you can call yourselves whatever you want to call yourselves.. but that is not going to change my opinion. Because I have not done extensive research on the subject does not make me uninformed enough to have an opinion. Just because you call yourself bisexual.. does not make you any more qualified to form an opinion. In case you all forgot, every body has opinions.
Anyway, I am through on this topic. I have taken in everything you have to say. It did not change my opinion, but I am glad that I got another perspective on it! Thank you for your responses!
I guess you're right, we won't change your mind. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. The problem is, this isn't a matter of opinion, as say favorite color or food. This is factual in nature, although we can certainly argue over what the facts are. However, your way of looking at it seems to assume that every opinion is equal, which it is not in this case. Closing the discussion by resting on your freedom of opinion doesn't make you right. If I said that the sky was green, you certainly wouldn't accept it, my right to my own opinion notwithstanding.
As far as physical v. emotional attraction, I agree with what you just wrote, though I don't think it matters. Yeah, there are people of both sexes I think have nice eyes or smiles, but I'm otherwise not attracted to them. But there are people of both sexes that I am very much physically, and possibly emotionally attracted to. I don't think you can limit sexual orientation to either physical or emotional. Sometimes one comes without the other. I'm very emotionally attached to some people that I would never want to have sex with. I'm also very sexually attracted to people I have no emotional feelings for. Even if after I find a partner I don't become emotionally attracted to other people anymore, sexual attraction will still be there, I just won't act on it. Just because there is no emotional attachment doesn't mean sexual attraction by itself doesn't count towards sexual orientation.
What it comes down to is that under your theory, it wouldn't make sense for me to have a long-term relationship with one person of one sex, break up for whatever reason, and then have a relationship with someone of the other sex. It makes perfect sense to me that this could happen. Under your theory, if I did that I would be going back and forth from gay to straight. People don't switch back and forth that easily (can you imagine one day just waking up gay?). Attraction to both is always there. It's call bisexuality.
John K.
by John K.
As I said, sweety, you are the epitome of ignorance.
If you think insulting me is going to get your point across.. it isn't.. however.. it does show your inability to tolerate the opinions of others.
And I'm not your sweety!
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insulting you. I am stating a fact. You are ignorant, whether you choose to believe it or not. As others have pointed out, your "opinion" is based on ignorance, so it is hardly a valid one.
Calling someone ignorant, when they are ignorant, is not an insult. It is not intended as one, merely a reflection of your lack of knowledge about sexual orientation (lack of knowledge = ignorance).
What's sad, really, is that you intentionally choose to remain ignorant. You should be more embarrassed about that than anything else.