In October we moved to one of the subdivisions just outside the city limits. We live in a big four bedroom house with big windows and a big kitchen and a two car garage, etc etc. The house is on a hill and we've got wonderful neighbors and it's so quiet up here. The lower roads of the subdivision go around a pretty big lake, one of the lakes that supplies water to the city. It's probably a mile and a half around the lake, the roads go up and downhill.
It wasn't long ago when I realized that I hate just sitting around, and I had no reason to keep sitting because I have a pair of walking shoes and an iPod: that's an obligation to walk. There's just one problem. I'm lazy, and at this point in my life, overweight. I guess it really does creep on. I didn't used to be quite so fat, but It's here now, and I have to get rid of it. I want to do college marching band next fall, and they'll chew slow fat kids up and spit them out. That's a normal reason to walk.
I first walked on Saturday morning. I had to insult myself out of bed after the alarm went off at 8:45, "Come on, fat ass. Get outta bed. It's just a walk. You walked everywhere before and this isn't any different. Problem now is that you know you HAVE to walk." By 9, I was out the door. I didn't walk far then, just down to where the road turns around the north end of the lake and back.
And, the events of the weekend have been confusing at least, and fat doesn't just fall off, it has to be worked at, so I got up for another walk today. It was cold, so in addition to sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt, I added a hoodie and gloves. There was frost when I stepped out this morning, and when I crossed the yard to the road, I started thinking about the stuff going on. A guy, his mom's death, a somewhat jealous ex boyfriend, the plot of my book, my best friends, my weight, what I want to do in life, practicing the horn, tonight's new year's party, My feet hit the concrete and I walked in time with the music in my iPod. I huffed and puffed a little, and for the entire mile and a half I slowed to a stop twice. All these thoughts swirled around and kept me busy until I was almost all the way around the lake, and then I got to this downward slope.
And I realized that I couldn't recall the last time I had ran or even jogged. I'm a fat kid. Fat kids with too much to think about don't jog, until today. And I took off down the hill, and I jogged down the hill and around the bend, which was probably a grand total of 75 yards. But I did it. And I stopped before the road started uphill again and I laughed. When I was jogging, I didn't concentrate on anything but putting one foot in front of the other. It was sorta like Forrest Gump I guess: running to clear my mind.
I didn't solve any major problems today. I'm still confused, I still don't know how to put my next chapter together. I'm still sad for my ex boyfriend and confused about the guy. I still miss Angie, and I'm still a senior in high school with not alot of time left to spend with my friends, but I did something today that made me happy, and I guess that's all the counts.
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